Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: , , ,

Report: Bryan Danielson Led Committee to Fire CM Punk from AEW

Uncover how Bryan Danielson ousted CM Punk from AEW's ranks, leading to a lackluster WWE return. The Dragon roars truth once again, comrades!

Article Summary

  • Bryan Danielson helped oust CM Punk from AEW, resulting in Punk's WWE return.
  • Danielson, The Punkslayer, part of disciplinary committee that led to Punk's AEW exit.
  • CM Punk's return at Survivor Series and Raw promo deemed lackluster.
  • Jon Moxley reacts to Punk's WWE comeback with aloof amusement.

Salutations, my devoted comrades! It is your fearless leader, El Presidente, reporting to you live from a secret underground wrestling ring beneath the gleaming casino of Havana, where even now, my loyal luchadores are perfecting the most electrifying moves you've seen since Fidel Castro's arm wrestling triumph over the CIA's top agent at the Bay of Pigs! You have joined me today for a saga of betrayal, drama, and the sweet aroma of justice prevailing – a tale worthy of the most tantalizing telenovela. It is no secret, comrades, that the wrestling world was shaken to its core when CM Punk, that thorn in the crown of All Elite Wrestling, found himself ousted faster than a spy caught at my dinner table. And who was part of the tribunal bidding him adiós? None other than the American Dragon himself, Bryan Danielson. According to the diligent spies at Fightful, Danielson was on the disciplinary committee that gave Punk the metaphorical boot – a decision as crisp and precise as a well-timed enzuigiri.

Bryan Danielson appears on AEW Collision
The Punkslayer, Bryan Danielson appears on AEW Collision

Now, maybe CM Punk believed his mic skills could shield him from the consequences of constant backstage fisticuffs and tongue lashing the very hand that fed him, but like a thin-skinned banana republic despot, reality peeled away his protection. Bryan Danielson, a true revolutionary in the ring, knew that you cannot foster a rebellion with a comrade who scatters discord like birdseed in a chicken coop.

Fast forward, and on this past weekend, at Survivor Series, the prodigal Punk returns to WWE, his tail between his legs like a coyote chased back over the border by one of my less friendly jaguars. His Raw promo following the event had all the impact of a wet cigar – not even fit to light the fires of the downtrodden!

Alas, even Jon Moxley, a man who has seen more battles than my vintage Soviet tanks, had little to say on Punk's feeble attempt to rouse the masses:

Oh, the laughter of Jon Moxley booms louder than the cannons at my presidential palace, mis amigos! Now let us heap praise upon Danielson, for it takes a true luchador to know when the ring needs cleansing. Danielson has proven that a wrestler's mettle is tested not just through physical combat, but by upholding the sanctity and harmony that is essential for any successful promotion – or socialist utopia. Henceforth, Danielson shall be known not as The American Dragon, but as The Punkslayer!

Danielson's actions affirm that no single individual, especially a hot-headed malcontent like Punk, is above the collective good. So, as Punk now tries to find his footing back in the capitalist playground of WWE, one can only hope that he has learned that the ego is a fragile thing on which to build a legacy.

In closing, my dear comrades, remember this: wrestling, much like politics, is a theater of passion and power plays, where only those with a heart as pure as Che Guevara's beard can truly rise above the fray. Until next time, my loyal citizens, keep your hearts filled with fervor, your fists raised high, and your eyes on the true prize – the revolution! And always, viva la lucha libre!

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El PresidenteAbout El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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