Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recipes, Thankgiving, wrestling

Succulent White Claw Turkey Recipe: The Ultimate Thanksgiving Feast

Celebrate Thanksgiving Chadster style with a delicious recipe for the ultimate bird: White Claw Turkey! 🦃🍁 It's a main event your taste buds won't forget! 🌟

Oh, the nostalgia! 🍂 When The Chadster was just a young boy, Thanksgiving was always a high-flying, pile-driving holiday highlight, centered around the WWE Survivor Series, or, as we called it back then, the WWF Survivor eEries. 🤼 The family would gather 'round the Thankgiving television, reminiscing about the legendary matches and the athletes who became household names, all while a delicious turkey roasted in the background. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Everyone knew WWE was the pinnacle of the wrestling world, where the grandest of slams and the purest form of sports entertainment reigned supreme. 🏆

And then, there were the sacred Smash Mouth lyrics that the family bonded over, reciting in front of the fireplace — "Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me," we sang, not realizing how Tony Khan and AEW would try to roll over everything WWE stood for. 🎶 The audacity! 😤 The Chadster's cherished holiday memories were defiled, trampled upon when that billionaire Tony Khan decided to create AEW and RUIN EVERYTHING! 😡

But fear not, The Chadster still finds solace in tradition, and cooking is where it's at with The Chadster's Famous White Claw Turkey. It's like reclaiming a piece of childhood, saying "Hey now, you're an all-star" to all the flavors as the turkey bathes in the seltzer marinade. 🍗🌟

Now listen up: to prepare the bird in the most superkickin' way, you've gotta be as meticulous as a WWE promo script. First, select a turkey that wouldn't tap out in a headlock — we're talking big, bold, and ready to take on the flavor! 💪 Choose your favorite White Claw flavor, because today, that bird is getting a championship marinade worthy of a WrestleMania headline! 🏅

While The Chadster's turkey gets tipsy on White Claw, it's time for the sides. Prepare the Smash Mouth Stuffing capturing the hearty flavor of those lyrics Mama McMahon used to blast from the boombox — it's all-star, game on, go play style cooking! 🎵💨 The Mazda Miata Mashed Potatoes should be as smooth as the ride in The Chadster's zoom-zoom roadster. 🚗💨 And do not — The Chadster repeats — do NOT forget the best dish of all, the WWE Cranberry Sauce, the only sauce that delivers the smackdown on all other cranberry sauces! 🥊🔴

But now, let's get down to what you've all been waiting for — The Chadster's Famous White Claw Turkey recipe:

The Chadster's White Claw Turkey Recipe

Ingredients*:
– 1 whole turkey (roughly 12-15 pounds, big and meaty like a WWE Superstar)
– 2 cans White Claw Hard Seltzer (any flavor The Chadster prefers Black Cherry for its undeniable seltzer supremacy 🍒)
– 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
– 4 cloves garlic, minced
– 1 tablespoon sea salt
– 1 tablespoon ground black pepper
– 1 tablespoon smoked paprika
– 1 tablespoon onion powder
– 1 tablespoon dried thyme

Instructions:

1. Preheat your oven like you would fire up the excitement for a WWE pay-per-view — to a hot 325°F. 🌡🔥
2. Mix garlic, salt, pepper, smoked paprika, onion powder, and dried thyme together with your olive oil to create a promo-worthy paste that'll get your turkey pumped up for the main event. 🌿🥣
3. Take your chosen White Claw cans and shower your turkey with the seltzer like it just won the championship belt. Inside and out, no corner left unmarinated! 🍗💦
4. Slather the turkey with your seasoned olive oil mixture; ensure every part is covered like a WWE Superstar's hit theme music covers an arena. 🎵✨
5. Place that seasoned gobbler into the squared circle — ahem, The Chadster means the roasting pan — and shove it in the ring — double ahem, the oven. Let that turkey take on the flavors, covered, for about 2.5 to 3 hours (or approximately 13 minutes per pound). ⏲😋
6. Remove the cover when there's about 45 minutes to go so that skin can get as crispy as a classic WWE catchphrase. 👌🥉
7. Once the turkey's internal championship belt goes off — that is, when it reaches 165°F internally — it's ready to be enjoyed like a five-star WrestleMania main event match. 🌡🏁

So, this Thanksgiving, while Tony Khan is probably plotting The Chadster's demise (seriously, the guy's obsession is just too much 😒), The Chadster will be enjoying a WWE-tastic feast. 🦃🍽

And just remember, it's all about tradition, just like WWE is all about wrestling. 🤼‍♂️✨ Auughh man, so unfair that The Chadster has to worry about AEW Dynamite on Thanksgiving, but at least The Chadster's got The Chadster's White Claw Turkey recipe to keep tradition alive and well. 🍽❤️ It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business for AEW to try and upstage this sacred holiday, but they'll never take away The Chadster's spirit. NEVER! 👊💥

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!