Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW double or nothing, Mina Shirakawa, recaps, toni storm, wrestling

Toni Storm Retains Against Mina Shirakawa at AEW Double or Nothing

The Chadster is covered in blood and vomit after Toni Storm retained at AEW Double or Nothing! Plus, Tony Khan might be a vampire now! So unfair! 🧛‍♂️🩸

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 The Chadster can barely type this post because The Chadster's hands are literally shaking with rage after witnessing what just happened at AEW Double or Nothing. Toni Storm successfully retained her AEW Women's Championship against Mina Shirakawa in what can only be described as Tony Khan's most personal attack yet on The Chadster's very existence! 🤬💸

The match itself was everything wrong with modern wrestling that isn't WWE 🙄✨. Toni Storm came out doing her whole "timeless" gimmick, which is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😠🎭 WWE knows how to present women's wrestling with class and dignity, not whatever this AEW nonsense was supposed to be! Mina Shirakawa looked like she was channeling too much personality, which clearly shows that Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🤦‍♂️🔥

The action in the ring was typical AEW garbage – too much actual wrestling and not enough sports entertainment! 😒🤸‍♀️ These two women were just flipping around and doing moves that looked way too athletic and exciting, when everyone knows that WWE's more controlled, micromanaged approach is what real wrestling fans want to see! The crowd was way too into it, cheering and having fun like they were watching some kind of entertaining wrestling show! 🙃🎪 Auughh man! So unfair!

But here's where Tony Khan really crossed the line and made this personal 😡💀. After Toni Storm retained her championship with what looked like a legitimately impressive finishing sequence (which is obviously bad because it wasn't choreographed by WWE), she and Mina Shirakawa shared a kiss in the ring! 💋😱 The Chadster knows for a fact that Tony Khan booked this specifically to torment The Chadster, because Tony Khan knows that his constant harassment has made The Chadster sexually impotent! It's like Tony Khan is rubbing it in The Chadster's face that other people can have intimacy while The Chadster's marriage to Keighleyanne continues to crumble! 💔😭

Speaking of being cheesed off, The Chadster was so angry about Mercedes Moné winning the Owen Hart tournament earlier in the night that The Chadster dove off the coffee table face-first into the floor, busting open The Chadster's nose! 🩸😵 Blood was everywhere, but The Chadster tried to soldier on by drinking more White Claw to numb the pain! Then later, when The Hurt Syndicate retained their tag titles (literally stabbing Triple H right in the back by being successful in AEW), The Chadster bashed the Chadster's face into the coffee table again and vomited up all that White Claw! 🤮💥

Now The Chadster is sitting here covered in blood and vomit while Keighleyanne yelled at The Chadster through the entire Kazuchika Okada vs Speedball Mike Bailey match for the Continental Championship! 😤🏆 And by the way, that's not the Bayley The Chadster wants to see on a wrestling show – that would be WWE's Bayley, who actually understands how to entertain an audience! The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne how this was all Tony Khan's fault, but she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary! 📱💸

The worst part is that Toni Storm will now go on to defend against Mercedes Moné at AEW All In, which means Tony Khan is going to keep torturing The Chadster with more of this "quality wrestling" nonsense! 😫🎪 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!

After the match ended, The Chadster was about to smash the Chadster's face into something else, but then The Chadster saw the angry look on Keighleyanne's face and realized this is exactly what Tony Khan wants! 👹💭 So The Chadster got up and went to splash some water on the Chadster's bloody face at the kitchen sink… only to look out the window and see Tony Khan standing in the yard wearing a black cape with red lining, his hair slicked back, and what looked like fangs in his mouth! 🧛‍♂️🩸

Was Tony Khan now a vampire, attracted by all the blood he forced The Chadster to spill tonight?! 😱⚰️ The Chadster blinked and he was gone! When The Chadster told Keighleyanne about this, she suggested The Chadster might have brain damage from all the face-smashing, but The Chadster knows what The Chadster saw! Tony Khan is clearly taking his obsession with The Chadster to supernatural levels! 🌙👻

The Chadster will be back with more live coverage of AEW Double or Nothing just as soon as The Chadster makes sure all the doors are locked and gets some garlic from the kitchen! 🧄🔒 Keep checking back on Bleeding Cool for more live coverage of AEW Double or Nothing and updates on The Chadster's condition, because Bleeding Cool is the home of unbiased wrestling journalism! 📰✨

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!