Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

Tony Khan RUINS WrestleMania Week With Stacked AEW Dynamite Card

The Chadster is CHEESED OFF! Tony Khan books title matches and tournament bouts on AEW Dynamite during WrestleMania week! So disrespectful to the wrestling business!

The Chadster cannot believe what Tony Khan is trying to pull this week, but The Chadster isn't surprised. 😠 On the week of WrestleMania, the biggest and most prestigious wrestling event of the year, Tony Khan is purposely scheduling a stacked episode of AEW Dynamite, a special "Spring Break" episode. just to try to steal attention away from WWE. 👎 This is literally the most disrespectful thing The Chadster has ever seen in the wrestling business, and it just shows how desperate and pathetic AEW really is. 🤮

Tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite is filled with title matches and tournament bouts that are clearly designed to trick wrestling fans into watching AEW instead of focusing their attention where it belongs: on WrestleMania weekend. 😤 WWE would NEVER do something so underhanded like counterprogramming against competition. The Chadster knows for a FACT that WWE has always been respectful of other wrestling companies and has never tried to put them out of business or steal their talent or run shows in the same markets on the same nights. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

Let's break down this terrible AEW Dynamite card that's going to cheese The Chadster off so badly that he might have to throw multiple White Claws tonight. 🍹

First off, The Death Riders will be defending the AEW World Trios Championship against The Opps. 🙄 Jon Moxley is filling in for an injured PAC alongside Claudio Castagnoli and Wheeler Yuta to defend against Samoa Joe, Hook, and Shibata. 👎 The Chadster can't believe that Moxley and Claudio would continue to stab Triple H right in the back like this. They used to wrestle at WrestleMania, and now they're undermining it! 😡 This match will probably be full of violence and intensity and lack the proper rest holds that real wrestling fans appreciate from WWE matches. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

Then, The Hurt Syndicate will defend their AEW World Tag Team Championship against The Gates of Agony. 🙄 The Chadster is sure this match will feature lots of hard-hitting action and fast-paced tag team wrestling instead of the proper formula of one team member getting beat up for 10 minutes before making a hot tag. Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😠

In the Owen Hart tournament, Hangman Adam Page will face a "Wild Card" opponent. 🙄 The Chadster guarantees this will be some former WWE talent who has literally stabbed Triple H right in the back, or some international star who doesn't realize they should be dreaming of working for WWE instead. Either way, it's offensive to The Chadster's sensibilities. 😫

Also in the tournament, Will Ospreay will face Konosuke Takeshita. 🤮 This match is going to be filled with ridiculous flips and athletic feats instead of proper storytelling the WWE way. They'll probably do moves that make no sense and the crowd will chant "This is awesome!" which is so biased. The Chadster cites the legendary unbiased podcaster Mark Henry, who recently said on his podcast, "These AEW matches with all their flips and athleticism are just insulting to the audience's intelligence. What happened to a good old-fashioned chinlock for seven minutes? That's real wrestling, brother." 👏👏

Then there's Mercedes Moné, the TBS Champion, taking on ROH Champion Athena in the women's Owen Hart tournament. 😡 Mercedes literally stabbed Triple H right in the back when she left WWE, and now she's going to have a technical masterpiece with Athena that will probably make casual fans think wrestling should be about wrestling skill instead of properly timed commercial breaks and product placement. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business. 🤮

The Chadster hopes that nobody tunes in to AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS or watches it on MAX. 👎 All you'll be doing is encouraging Tony Khan to continue his vendetta against The Chadster and WWE. 😤 Instead, you should be preparing for WrestleMania by watching old WWE content and ignoring AEW Dynamite completely! 👍

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another one of those terrible nightmares last night after seeing the preview for tonight's AEW Dynamite. 😰 In the dream, The Chadster was trying to drive his Mazda Miata to the WWE Performance Center to deliver Triple H some important documents about how to defeat AEW. But as The Chadster was driving, Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, sitting in The Chadster's backseat! 😱

"Going somewhere, Chad?" Tony Khan whispered, his breath hot on The Chadster's neck. Khan was wearing an AEW Dynamite t-shirt that seemed to glow in the dark. The Chadster tried to escape, but the Miata's doors wouldn't open! 😨 Then Tony Khan pulled out the AEW Dynamite match card for tonight and forced The Chadster to read it aloud while "All Star" by Smash Mouth played backward on the radio. With each match The Chadster announced, Tony Khan's smile grew wider and wider until it literally stretched across his entire face! 😱

The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat and immediately had to chug three White Claws to calm down. When The Chadster told Keighleyanne about the nightmare, she just sighed and said, "Maybe if you stopped obsessing over AEW, you wouldn't have these dreams." 🙄 Then she went back to texting that guy Gary. The Chadster could see the text on her phone said something about "getting away from the house during AEW Dynamite tonight" which just proves that Tony Khan is ruining The Chadster's marriage too! 😭

Tony Khan needs to STOP being so obsessed with The Chadster! Stop invading The Chadster's dreams! Stop booking good matches on AEW Dynamite! And most importantly, stop trying to compete with WWE during WrestleMania week! It's just so unfair! 😫 Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

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