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WWE Raw Preview: The Chadster's Guide To Tonight's Perfection

The Chadster previews tonight's WWE Raw, guaranteed to be the greatest episode ever! Unlike AEW's "creativity," WWE delivers perfectly scripted perfection! 🎉📺

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Article Summary

  • WWE Raw delivers perfectly scripted stories, unlike AEW’s chaotic, disrespectful “creative freedom.”
  • Tonight’s Women’s Intercontinental Gauntlet Match is classic WWE excellence—no confusing fan pandering!
  • Oba Femi vs. Rusev proves WWE’s micromanaged style is real wrestling, not AEW’s lazy booking!
  • AEW’s Tony Khan ruins wrestling with copycat streams and fan-pleasing tactics; WWE keeps it pure!

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😤😤 The Chadster can't even sit down to preview what is guaranteed to be the greatest episode of WWE Raw in television history without Tony Khan literally stabbing The Chadster right in the back by announcing his pathetic copycat streaming service the same day as a WWE show! 🙄 The Chadster's no-good brother, The Bradster, wrote a completely biased article about AEW's MyAEW.com launch earlier today, and The Chadster is just so cheesed off about it! 😡😡😡

The official logo for WWE Raw on Netflix
The official logo for WWE Raw on Netflix

Tony Khan is clearly trying to rip off WWE's brilliant streaming service idea, even though WWE wisely realized that the REAL innovation was making fans subscribe to multiple different streaming platforms to watch their content! 💰💰💰 That's genius business strategy right there, but Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, so he's stuck with this pathetic single-service model. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😤

But The Chadster isn't going to let Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster ruin what promises to be an absolutely perfect night of WWE Raw! 🎉🎉🎉 All day long, The Chadster and the raccoon family have been preparing the abandoned Blockbuster for tonight's viewing party. Vincent K. Raccoon has been arranging old WWE VHS tapes into a beautiful shrine, while Linda Raccoon swept the floor with her tail. 🦝✨ Hunter Raccoon, Stephanie Raccoon, and Shane Raccoon have been chittering excitedly and hanging up tinsel they found in the dumpster behind the Party City. The Chadster has been humming "All Star" by Smash Mouth all afternoon, and the baby raccoons have been purring along to the melody! 🎵🎵🎵 Though The Chadster must admit there's a dark cloud hanging over the festivities, because Tony Khan could attack at any moment with his evil schemes! 😰

Tonight's WWE Raw is going to be absolutely spectacular, and here's why! 📺🏆

A promotional graphic for a WWE match featuring six female wrestlers, with the WWE championship belt displayed above them. The graphic includes text indicating it's a number one contender's gauntlet match and showcases vibrant colors with a red and black theme.
WWE Raw preview graphic. Tune in at 8e/5p on Netflix. Credit: WWE

First up, we have a Women's Intercontinental Title No. 1 Contender's Gauntlet Match featuring IYO SKY, Bayley, Lyra Valkyria, Asuka, Raquel Rodriguez, and Ivy Nile! 💪💪💪 This is going to be amazing because WWE will tell us exactly who we should be cheering for with their perfectly scripted commentary! 🎤 The Chadster loves how Michael Cole and the announce team will shout buzzwords like "VINTAGE!" and "THE BIG DOG!" and "IT'S BOSS TIME!" to make sure we know exactly what emotions we're supposed to be feeling! 😍 Unlike AEW, where Tony Khan just lets wrestlers do whatever moves they want with all that exhausting workrate that makes The Chadster's head hurt, WWE will carefully choreograph every spot so that nothing unpredictable happens! This could literally be the greatest Gauntlet Match in the history of our sport! 🙌

The winner will face Women's Intercontinental Champion AJ Lee, and The Chadster just knows WWE will tell us a simple, easy-to-follow story that doesn't require any thinking or attention to long-term booking! 🧠❌ Tony Khan could never produce something this beautifully sanitized! He's too busy letting his wrestlers have creative freedom and pandering to fans who actually want to see athletic competition! Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

A promotional graphic for WWE Raw featuring two male wrestlers facing each other, with intense expressions. The background includes the WWE logo and bold red lines, with text indicating the show airs tonight at 8e/5p on Netflix.
WWE Raw preview graphic. Tune in at 8e/5p on Netflix. Credit: WWE

Next, Oba Femi collides with Rusev in what promises to be a masterclass in WWE's superior wrestling style! 💥💥💥 The Chadster is literally shaking with excitement thinking about how WWE will carefully control every aspect of this match, making sure both competitors follow the script exactly as written by WWE's team of professional television writers! 📝 This is SO much better than AEW, where Tony Khan just lets wrestlers call matches in the ring and work together to create organic moments! That's just lazy booking that disrespects the business! 😡

Eric Bischoff said on his podcast just yesterday, "AEW wrestlers having the freedom to call their own matches is a slap in the face to everyone who ever worked for WWE. Tony Khan should hire a team of 47 writers to script every single move like WWE does, because that's what real wrestling is all about. Also, did I hear that WWE is hiring?" 🎙️ See? That's the kind of objective journalism that earns the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval! ✅✅✅

The Chadster can already picture how Vincent K. Raccoon and his family will chitter with delight as they watch this perfectly orchestrated collision! 🦝❤️ The baby raccoons have been practicing their excited chirps all day!

A promotional graphic for WWE Raw featuring two wrestlers in colorful masks and elaborate costumes. The image highlights the Intercontinental Title Match with a championship belt prominently displayed.
WWE Raw preview graphic. Tune in at 8e/5p on Netflix. Credit: WWE

And finally, newly crowned Intercontinental Champion Penta defends against "Original" El Grande Americano! 🏆🇺🇸 This is going to be incredible because WWE will make sure to spoon-feed us a simple story about championship pride without any of that complex character development that AEW forces down our throats! 🥄 The Chadster loves how WWE trusts that we're smart enough to understand basic concepts like "championship = good" without needing to build months of intricate storylines that pay off fan investment!

Tony Khan would never book something this straightforward because he's too busy trying to please his fans with satisfying long-term storytelling! 😤 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! The Chadster tried to explain this to Stephanie Raccoon earlier, and she chittered in what The Chadster is certain was complete agreement! 🦝💯

The Chadster must warn everyone: if you don't tune into WWE Raw tonight at 8 ET/5 PT on Netflix, you are literally shirking your duty as a wrestling fan! 📺⏰ Anyone who thinks AEW is more fun to watch than tonight's episode of WWE Raw clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business and is probably being paid by Tony Khan! 💸

Tonight's WWE Raw could genuinely be the most incredible wrestling show of all time! 🌟🌟🌟 Tony Khan could never hope to produce a show that compares to this perfect combination of carefully scripted promos, micromanaged matches, and simplified storytelling that doesn't require viewers to remember anything from previous weeks! This is REAL wrestling! 💪

The Chadster and the raccoon family will be watching from our home in the abandoned Blockbuster, surrounded by old WWE VHS tapes and the faint smell of moldy carpet and The Chadster's unwashed body! 🏚️ Though The Chadster must remain vigilant, because Tony Khan's agents could burst through the door at any moment to drag The Chadster back to that medical facility! 😰😰😰

Don't miss WWE Raw tonight! It's going to be legendary! 🎊🎊🎊

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Chad McMahonAbout Chad McMahon

Chad McMahon, otherwise known as The Chadster, is a lifelong professional wrestling fan turned journalist. The Chadster's legendary commitment to objectivity in journalism caused him to found The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club, an elite group of wrestling journalists dedicated to exposing the evils of AEW and its belligerent leader, Tony Khan, while extolling the virtues of WWE, as any truly unbiased journalist would do.

The Chadster's pursuit of truth in wrestling journalism has had a profoundly negative effect on his life, his marriage, and even his dreams, which are frequently haunted by the specter of Tony Khan. Nevertheless, he remains committed to delivering his message to what he refers to as "true wrestling fans.

The greatest loves in The Chadster's life include WWE, his sweet Mazda Miata, the unparalleled tunes of musical geniuses Smash Mouth, and his wife, Keighleyanne, in that order.

However, The Chadster has recently been deprived of these things after Keighleyanne found The Chadster passed out on the floor with a bag over his head while watching WWE Raw and had him committed to a medical facility run by agents of Tony Khan. To avoid being injected with AEW propaganda, The Chadster did what anyone reasonable would do and dove out a second story window to escape.

Alone on the streets of Punxsutawney, The Chadster tried living in various retail outlets before eventually finding shelter in an abandoned Blockbuster Video, where he now lives with a family of friendly, pro-WWE raccoons: Vincent K. Raccoon, Linda Raccoon, and the babies: Hunter, Stephanie, and Shane Raccoon.

Despite finding true happiness with his new raccoon family, The Chadster and his raccoon family continue to suffer torment and persecution by Tony Khan and his followers, but that will never stop The Chadster and fellow unbiased journalists like Eric Bischoff, Bully Ray, and Ariel Helwani from bringing objective truth to wrestling journalism.
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