WWE Raw Review 8/2/2021 – If You Can't Beat 'Em, Bore 'Em

Does anyone else feel like it's just plain rude to have a WWE Raw the week after you've fired Bray Wyatt and Ric Flair quit? I would have called the whole thing off, personally. But, fake crowd noise machines at the ready, WWE did press on with an episode of Raw this week. Now, I'll tell you why it sucked.

WWE Raw 8/2/2021
These guys look as excited to be on WWE Raw as we are to watch it.

MVP and Bobby Lashley opened the show to cut a promo on Goldberg, which Goldberg of course interrupted, much to fans' dismay, who chanted for Wyatt instead (even over the piped-in Goldberg chants). Goldberg got in Lashley's face for a bit then left. MVP then got in the face of Goldberg's teenage son, who was at ringside, prompting Goldberg to come out and spear him.

Let me be clear. This show sucks. This feud sucks. And Goldberg sucks. But MVP sold that damn spear for the entire rest of the show, still bent over and clutching his gut hours later when Bobby Lashley finally officially accepted Goldberg's challenge, and that was awesome.


Next up, Drew McIntyre defeated Veer and Shanky in a handicap match via disqualification when Jinder Mahal interfered with a chair. McIntyre chased them off with his sword. The most notable thing about this segment is that someone accidentally played a SummerSlam John Cena commercial into the fake crowd noise track on the mixer, resulting in the double horror of fake crowd noise plus Michael Cole's announcing mixed in with the real crowd.


Rhea Ripley defeated Nia Jax via rollup off a distraction by Jax's own partner, Shayna Baszler. Jax and Baszler argued after the match, and Ripley gave Jax a Riptide. During the match, Jax busted her eyebrow open and wore a half-crimson mask for most of the match, which looked cool. She also avoided permanently injuring Ripley with any of her moves, so overall, it was a good night for Jax despite the loss.


Mustafa Ali and Mansoor lost a tag team match against Mace and T-Bar this week after winning last week, because even the jobbers have to have 50/50 booking. I like how commentary acts like Ali and Mansoor have sparks of greatness if they could just get their shit together because they almost beat Mace and T-Bar, who have literally lost to everyone on the Raw roster.


Charlotte Flair came out to cut a long promo on Nicki ASH where she threw a bunch of weapons in the ring, threatening Nikki ahead of their No Holds Barred match later in the show. Eventually even Nikki was bored and came out and whacked Charlotte with a chair.


Tamina beat Doudrop clean in a match as WWE uses the opportunity of Natalya's injury to make sure nobody has any heat by the time she comes back.


Damian Priest joined The Miz and John Morrison for a trainwreck of a Miz TV segment. The crowd was not into this at all and was chanting for CM Punk, despite WWE's best efforts to drown it out with fake noise. Priest was unable to commit to the stupidity of Miz and Morrison's "wet" gimmick and ended up coming off very wooden in his deliver, which is a shame because normally Priest is pretty good. Miz and Morrison are fully committed, but the gimmick is so stupid that only makes it worse.

All of that led into a match between Priest and Morrison, which Priest won.

Then Sheamus attacked Priest, and Ricochet ran out, which led to another match, Priest and Ricochet vs. Sheamus and Morrison, which Priest won by pinning Morrison again.


Riddle got crushed by Omos in a two-minute match. Still no sign of Randy Orton, but at least Riddle's heat will be completely killed by the time he gets back from wherever he is. Unless of course they fire him, which you can't 100% rule out in WWE these days.


Eva Marie and Doudrop jumped Alexa Bliss in the Playground. After they left, Lily the doll stood up on her own. Total garbage. You'd think Eva Marie might have taken some acting lessons during her time away from WWE, but if she did, she should ask for her money back. You would think Nicholas Cage might have rubbed off on her a little, but nope.


Karrion Kross and Keith Lee faced off again in a hard-hitting match that was probably the best one of the night, not that that's saying much. It was maybe slightly above average. This time, Lee won, but no one looks good here, because, first of all, Lee already lost to Kross, and lost to Lashley the week before that. Yeah, he beat Kross this week, but Kross lost to Jeff Hardy, who has been treated like a jobber for the past year, two weeks ago. Why they are using the NXT Championship in this role I have no idea. Just total garbage booking. WWE has no idea how to make a star anymore.


Reggie defeated Akira Tozawa with a sloppy running senton that landed on Tozawa's face. This despite Tozawa hulking up with "ninja power" in the middle of the match. I'm already sick of Reggie.


Finally, the main event. Not that I wanted to see it, but I wanted the show to be over. After a long filled with Charlotte beating the crap out of Nikki while the crowd chanted for Becky (hey, at least she still works there), Nikki made a brief comeback after Charlotte speared a table and got the pin.


I think we all sort of subconsciously knew WWE Raw wouldn't need much time to squander all the goodwill from the return of the fans, but even so, it's still surprising how bad the show has gotten so quickly, and how quickly the fans have turned on it. Pretty much every feud on Raw is boring right now, and on top of that, several of them are also stuck in holding patterns waiting for someone to return from injury (Natalya) or wherever the @#$% they are (Orton). I'd say this is a low point for WWE, but we know it can get lower. It will be interesting to see the ratings this week.

WWE Raw 8/2/2021

WWE Raw 8/2/2021
Review by Jude Terror

1.5/10
I think we all sort of subconsciously knew WWE Raw wouldn't need much time to squander all the goodwill from the return of the fans, but even so, it's still surprising how bad the show has gotten so quickly, and how quickly the fans have turned on it. Pretty much every feud on Raw is boring right now, and on top of that, several of them are also stuck in holding patterns waiting for someone to return from injury (Natalya) or wherever the @#$% they are (Orton). I'd say this is a low point for WWE, but we know it can get lower. It will be interesting to see the ratings this week.

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

About Jude Terror

A prophecy claims that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Unfortunately, nobody can tell when the comics industry has reached its "darkest days" because it somehow keeps finding new lows to sink to. No matter! Jude Terror stands vigilant, bringing the snarkiest of comic book and pro wrestling clickbait to the undeserving readers of Bleeding Cool.
Comments will load 8 seconds after page. Click here to load them now.