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Posted in: Movies, Review | Tagged: cillian murphy, film, michael moran, reviews
The Retreat Review: The Lesson Is Don't Go On Holiday With Thandie Newton
Michael Moran went to see new Brit thriller The Retreat for Bleeding Cool
If you put them under enough pressure, even the Palme d'Or crowd will admit that everyone likes a bit of Bayhem. Transformers, Batman, Die Hard, James Bond, they're the names that attract the really big crowds to cinemas.
But sometimes you need to get away from the crowd.
If you want to get away from the bombastic blockbuster world of strong men in tights punching lumps out of one another for a while, then The Retreat is definitely an alternative to consider.
But it sure as hell isn't a relaxing holiday. This tense, claustrophobic, sometimes shocking three-hander will leave you needing another holiday just to recover from it.
Much of The Retreat's power comes from its unpredictability. Which is why I'm going to stop telling you about it now and just talk about holidays instead.
Everything I know about holidays I learned from Don't Look Now. If you've suffered an awful trauma, going on holiday isn't necessarily the best way to overcome it. Not even in a romantic spot such as the remote island cottage where you once went on honeymoon. Especially not if you're someone like Cillian Murphy's asthmatic, contact lens wearing architect or Thandie Newton's numbed, resentful journalist.
Everything I know about holidays I learned from Dead Calm. A couple going on a voyage to get over the loss of a child are more or less certain to be joined by a loopy third party set on rocking the boat. Jamie Bell is excellent as the half-drowned squaddie with a story of a deadly mutant flu virus called R1N16 running wild on the mainland. Do they believe him? Do we believe him? You will be left uncertain and off-balance until well into the final reel.
Everything I know about holidays I learned from Withnail & I. Remote cottages are trouble. Generators always fail at just the wrong moment. And three people in a remote cottage with iffy power supply and an unreliable connection to the outside world would be a tense and awkward situation even if there were not an extinction-level pandemic threatening humanity. Especially if one of them is a twitchy, hard-as-nails military type.
Everything I know about holidays I learned from Straw Dogs. If you're an effete modern man who depends on all the little extras of modern society to keep you going (contact lenses, asthma inhalers, hot running water), don't go nose-to-nose with a tough nut who is entirely confident using axes to chop up furniture for firewood. Especially if he has a particularly menacing way of going about it.
Everything I know about holidays I learned from Mad Max. Once the rules have broken down, things get very bad very quickly. In The Retreat, as the furniture is smashed to splinters so is that fragile collection of conventions we call civilisation. And if you want to put things right, you're going to need to be as merciless as the people that are attacking you.
Everything I know about holidays, I learned from Kevin and Perry Go Large. You're willing to put up with music that you'd never countenance at home. Ilan Eshkeri's score for The Retreat hits all the right notes in the film's darker, quieter moments but the big set pieces are a shade over the top. It's probably the weakest aspect of a beautifully-crafted film.
Everything I know about holidays I learned from Get Carter. Just when you think everything's OK, it isn't.
In summary: Great, unpredictable, sometimes uncomfortable viewing that would be a brilliant choice of DVD to take on holiday. Because, let's face it, it is going to rain.
The Retreat is released in cinemas on 14th October
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