By Dylan Gonzalez
Beer: Ghost Face Killah
Brewery Twisted Pine Brewing Co.
It glared at me from the shelf. That flaming skull teased me with a smile and red hot pepper. I picked up the bottle and read the ingredients. Six peppers of the burn a hole in your tongue variety. The Anaheim, Fresno, Jalapeno, Serrano, Habanero and infamous Ghost Chile were all used in the brewing process.
My friends told me no. I said it was my destiny.
When I popped open the bottle, the smell immediately washed over me. A noxious wave of pure spice flew into my nostrils. People use the phrase "Orwellian" to describe a dystopian future. I am coining the phrase "Scovellian" to describe this beer. It was pure Scovellian. I poured the beer into my glass. It was a hazy orange color. The head and lacing quickly disappeared, no doubt burned away by the pure capsaicin. The glass provided an even bigger window for the pepper scents to expand.
When I drank it, it was like taking a swig from a bottle of hot sauce. The combination of all six peppers created what I assume is the purest taste of spiciness. It did not create a distinctive flavor so much as it washed over my tongue and coated it in a burning film of pain. I suppose I tasted a bit of a beer-like flavor too, but really, it was like drinking pureed peppers. Seeds included.
After a few more sips, I could handle no more. I quickly stuffed a spoonful of rice into my mouth and poured myself a 21st Amendment Back in Black in attempt to save my taste buds.
Overall, I found the beer to be unpalatable. If you love spice and heat, then I suggest you check it out. Otherwise, this is a complete novelty beer that you should crack open only on a dare.
What to Drink This To:
If you must drink this, you will need a distraction from the heat. Some time ago, I spent the night with a buddy of mine watching Method Man, an incredibly low budget and occasionally absurd kung-fu move that inspired the rapper of the same name. Clearly the theme here is kung-fu movies. If you must keep with the theme, then seek out Shaolin and Wu Tang, the film that directly influenced the naming of the Wu-Tang Clan. Otherwise, any of the classic kung-fu films (The Prodigal Son, Enter the Dragon, Drunken Master, The 36th Chamber of Shaolin, etc.) will certainly keep your mind off the scalding heat of this beer.
Dylan Gonzalez happens to love beer and comic books and luckily found a place to write about both because he has no idea how to actually make money in the real world. He lives in a cave in New Jersey. Tweet him at @BeardedPickle, follow his own beer blog at http://boozegeek.tumblr.com/ or email him at email@example.com.