Posted in: Comics, Marvel Comics | Tagged: grifts, marvel, nfts, Scams, spider-man

These Crappy Spider-Man NFTs Can Be Yours for Just $400

Published Fri, 06 Aug 2021 10:32:09 -0500

When it comes to bilking comic book readers for as much money as possible by selling them worthless crap, no one does it better than Marvel Comics. From bi-monthly super-mega-crossover events with extraneous tie-in issues to regular number one issue reboots to excessive variant covers, Marvel has never met a cheap sales gimmick it didn't love. But even combining all of those things together, which is another thing Marvel frequently does, pales in comparison to the sheer shameless cash grab known as NFTs, and true-to-form, Marvel has a new set of Spider-Man NFTs set to debut this weekend.

These digital collectibles use blockchain technology and roughly the annual electrical output of the country of Belgium to ensure that "ownership" of the NFT can be traced to exactly one person. Why that actually matters when you can still make a digital copy of the image that is exactly as useful (which is to say not useful at all) as the NFT version, no one can properly explain. But you know what they say about comic book collectors: there's one born every minute.

And so, Marvel has entered the NFT game, partnering with Veve to produce a set of Spider-Man NFTs that will be "produced" in limited amounts and sold in various tiers as unreasonably expensive as the art itself is mediocre. Here's the lineup of crappy Spider-Man digital statues you can shell out your hard-earned money for this Saturday, August 7th.

COMMON – Spider-Man – The Amazing Spider-Man
Price: $40.00
Quantity: 32,000

UNCOMMON – Spider-Man – Hangin' Out
Price: $50.00
Quantity: 16,000

RARE – Spider-Man – Jump Into Action
Price: $100.00
Quantity: 9,000

ULTRA-RARE – Spider-Man – Animated
Price: $250.00
Quantity: 2,500

SECRET-RARE – Spider-Man – Ultimate Animated
Price: $400.00
Quantity: 1,000

If Marvel manages to sell every single one of these Spider-Man NFTs, they'll bring in over $4 million, even though the art itself was clearly designed by an unpaid intern in a roughly five-minute period. It's comic book excess taken to extremes not seen since the 1990s, so it's no surprise it was enough to get Marvel President Dan Buckley out of bed to give a statement for the press release.

"Spider-Man is one of the most legendary Super Heroes in the Marvel Universe, so there was no better way to kick off our global digital collectibles experience with VeVe," said Buckley, dollar signs clearly visible in his pupils. "We can't wait to bring Marvel fans and collectors even more exciting drops throughout August and beyond."

That's right, true believers. This is only the beginning! Be sure to flush your hard-earned cash down the toilet for these digital pieces of crap tomorrow, unless, of course, an asteroid decides to wipe out human civilization before then (and if it did, it would be difficult to argue we didn't deserve it). Excelsior.

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