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The Bleeding Cool WWE Survivor Series 2016 Primer For Non-Wrestling Fans

So you've been hearing some of your comic geek friends talking about "pro wrestling," and maybe you're kind of interested in it, but you just don't understand the appeal of physically attractive superhuman athletes performing epic feats of strength and agility during dramatic battles of good vs. evil. We get it. And we've got your back.

Jumping into a PPV event like WWE Survivor Series with no prior knowledge is a lot like jumping into a superhero comic book at issue #11. It's nearly impossible with all of that continuity, which is why Marvel reboots its comics universe every thirteen issues or so.

Let this guide serve as your "Previously…" page, giving you everything you need to know in order to jump right into tonight's WWE super-mega-crossover event, Survivor Series.

What is Survivor Series?

Survivor Series is one of WWE's "Big Four" PPVs (pay-per-views), which also include The Royal Rumble, Summer Slam, and Wrestlemania. The first Survivor Series was held in 1987, and tonight's PPV is the thirtieth annual Survivor Series. The original idea is that teams of 4 or 5 wrestlers face off in elimination battles, with the last team to have at least one wrestler still in the match declared the winner. These are known as "traditional Survivor Series matches." The event was originally held on Thanksgiving, but is now held on the Sunday before.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij4RluraYSo

In addition to the elimination matches, lots of important things in WWE continuity have occured at Survivor Series. The Undertaker made his debut there, for one thing. The event also played host to 1997's infamous "Montreal Screwjob," where WWE owner Vince McMahon instructed the officials to ring the bell and declare Shawn Michaels the winner in his championship match with against Bret Hart in an ending that Hart was not privy to. Hart was set to leave the company for WCW, WWE's main competition at the time. He didn't want to lose the title to Michaels, his real-life bitter rival, in his home country. The Screwjob is largely credited as one of the pivotal events that changed the wrestling landscape in the 1990s by blurring the line between behind-the-scenes reality and on-screen storylines, and ushering in the "Attitude Era."

Since Survivor Series 30 is a milestone number, we can expect WWE to try to make it extra special, like an 800th issue of Deadpool, with callbacks to past Survivor Series to tickle viewer's nostalgia.

The theme of this year's Survivor Series is "Fantasy Warfare," and is part of a cross-promotion with the latest edition of WWE's video game series, WWE 2k17. Retired 90s legend Bill Goldberg returns to face Brock Lesnar in the main event, promoted as the type of dream match you could previously only find in a video game. With several traditional Survivor Series matches pitting wrestlers from Raw and Smackdown Live against each other, the event is also the first real super-mega-crossover event since WWE's brand split in May, which saw the roster of wrestlers split between those two shows in an attempt to simulate the spirit of competition that made wrestling so popular back in the 90s. If you're thinking, "gosh, all of this 90s nostalgia sure does remind me of superhero comics," you're starting to catch on here.

The Matches:

Cruiserweight Championship Match: Brian Kendrick (C) vs. Kalisto

Over the Summer, WWE held a tournament called the Cruiserweight Classic, which gathered wrestlers under 205 lbs from 18 countries compete and determine the best "cruiserweight" in the world. The winner of that tournament, T.J. Perkins, became the Cruiserweight Champion in a new Cruiserweight division on Raw.

Perkins was soon screwed out of that championship by Brian Kendrick, an aging, paranoid veteran clinging to his last chance at glory by any means necessary. He's facing Kalisto, a luchadore (high-flying Mexican wrestler) from Smackdown Live, and if Kalisto wins, Smackdown Live gets the entire Cruiserweight division for their show. This would make a lot of hardcore fans who follow the wrestling business as much for its backstage workings as for the product itself, known as "internet smarks," happy, because many of them believe the Cruiserweight Division hasn't been handled well on Raw.

Based on the rules, it could be possible for Kendrick to lose the match by disqualification or countoun, retaining his title but still seeing the division move to Smackdown Live.

In this video, Kendrick takes on Kalisto's former tag team partner and reigning backstage brawl champion Sin Cara:

Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz (C) vs. Sami Zayn

The Intercontinental Championship match is another one with major implications for Raw and Smackdown Live. If The Miz, a Smackdown Live wrestler, loses the title to Sami Zayn, a Raw wrestler, the belt will go to Raw, leaving Smackdown Live without a secondary men's singles championship – well, unless they get the Cruiserweight Division, that is.

The Miz is a "heel," the pro wrestling version of a supervillain. He is known for acting cowardly and being a pompous dick in general, obsessed with his Hollywood image. He'll cheat to win any match, often with help from his equally pompous French-Canadian wife, Maryse. Zayn is an underdog hero, and a darling of internet smarks for his long career wrestling in independent wrestling promotions like Ring of Honor.

There hasn't been much buildup between the two wrestlers, so the inter-show drama is the primary driving storyline of the match. The Miz has been turning in some of the best work of his career though since sparking a feud with Smackdown Live General Manager Daniel Bryan, a fan favorite wrestler who was forced to retire from in-ring competition due to concussion-related medical issues:

Raw vs. Smackdown Live Tag Team Survivor Series Match

This match sees the top tag teams – which is nearly all of the tag teams, since the rosters aren't that deep – teaming up to form even larger tag teams and compete against each other in a traditional Survivor Series elimination match with no real prize other than bragging rights. It's the sort of mindless blockbuster event that comic book fans should be quite familiar with – there doesn't need to be consequences, or even a good reason for the teams to fight, as long as there's a lot of action.

With both Raw Tag Team Champions The New Day and Smackdown Live Tag Team Champions Rhyno and Heath Slater leading their respective teams, the drama of the match will rely more on advancing the feuds between team members on the same show than the inter-show competition. Raw's team also includes smack talking rookies Enzo and Cass, disgruntled veterans The Club, unlikely partners Sheamus and Cesaro, and Puerto Rican comedy con-men The Shining Stars.

Smackdown Live's team also includes promising newcomers American Alpha, Samoan fan-favorites-turned-bad-guys The Usos, odd couple The Hype Bros, and comedy relief Breezango.

Aside from the pure size and muscle mass of a ten vs. ten matchup, the highlights of this match will probably be the entrances and antics of crowd-pleasing fan favorite Raw tag teams The New Day and Enzo and Cass:

Though the rules haven't been specifically clarified, it's probable that once one member of a tag team is eliminated from the match, his partner will also be eliminated.

Raw vs. Smackdown Live Women's Survivor Series Match

Just as in the comic book world, there's been a demand from fans for WWE to treat women's wrestling as more than just T&A for male viewers, and WWE has been listening lately. As part of WWE's somewhat self-aggrandizing Women's Revolution branding, the company has been putting more focus on women's matches and storylines. A Hell in the Cell match between Sasha Banks and Charlotte Flair, daughter of legendary wrestler Ric Flair, headlined Raw's recent Hell in the Cell PPV event.

Not surprisingly, WWE's serious focus on women's wrestling has been well-received by fans, who are showing more interest in the women's matches than they have in well over a decade. The current roster of women, though thin when spread out to two different shows much like the tag team divisions, represents one of the the most "over" – that's popular or hated by the crowd according to a wrestler's hero/villain alignment – groups of women in a WWE match in history, and one of the most talented as well. As they have been for months, these ten women will be doing their best to steal the show and prove that women's wrestling is just as entertaining and important as men's.

Raw's women's team, led by Charlotte, consists of beloved fan favorite Sasha Banks, even more beloved fan favorite Bayley, unstoppable monster Nia Jax, and veteran Alicia Fox, with Charlotte's flunky Dana Brooke at ringside to interfere in the match. Smackdown's team, led by crossover superstar and longest reigning Divas champion – Divas were what WWE called its women wrestlers before they realized they were sexist as f**k – Nicki Bella, consists of Irish champion and fan favorite Becky Lynch, veteran Naomi, the Bella-hating rookie Carmella, and Alexa Bliss. Oh yeah, and for whatever reason, Alexa Bliss is Harley Quinn, so…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J56OMnC8ew8

Like the tag team match, the real drama will be in the way the competitors on each team interact with each other, since they'll go back to fighting amongst themselves for the respective championships of Charlotte Flair and Smackdown Live's Becky Lynch after tonight.

Raw vs. Smackdown Live Men's Survivor Series Match

The men's Survivor Series match sees the world champions of each show, Raw's WWE Universal Champion Kevin Owens and Smackdown Live's World Heavyweight Champion A.J. Styles leading teams of five of the best wrestlers from their respective brands. The match sees multiple contenders for GOAT – greatest of all time – in the ring. The goofy best friendship between Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho has been the highlight of Raw, and possibly all entertainment in the entire world, for the past few months. Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns, who have been bitter rivals since the breakup of their gang, The Shield, seem to be getting along for the first time since Rollins betrayed the group (as featured in the debut issue of BOOM! Studios' WWE comic last week). Braun Strowman, a gigantic monster of a man who has been dominating opponents since the brand split, rounds out Raw's team.

On Smackdown's side, A.J. Styles, former indie darling, international star, and face of WWE's annoying wannabe rival, TNA, for years, has been topping off his career with an amazing run as Smackdown champion. His feud with former champion, and former Shield member, Dean Ambrose, is likely to bleed heavily into this match. Supernatural villain Bray Wyatt, portrayed kind of like a cult leader obsessed with HBO's True Detective, has recently recruited veteran superstar Randy Orton to join his Wyatt Family, and fans will be interested in seeing them face off with former Wyatt Family member Braun Strowman. Smackdown's team is rounded off by Shane McMahon, son of WWE Chairman Vince McMahon and Commissioner of Smackdown Live. Shane is famous for taking big "bumps" – that is, taking physical punishment in glorious fashion, like falling from great heights or being smashed through pieces of the set. The unlikely character of James Elsworth, a skinny "jobber" – person who always loses – will serve as the mascot of Smackdown Live's team, and he'll probably have an impact, either helping or accidentally hurting his team, and surely furthering his involvement in the feud between Styles and Ambrose.

As if the sheer breadth of talent of some of wrestling's most talented and charismatic stars in years being in the ring at the same time isn't enough, the Raw team has been threatened with an implied firing by Commissioner Stephanie McMahon if they lose, while The Undertaker, who will probably appear at the show tonight in some capacity, has threatened the Smackdown team if they lose.

However, like any event he's been featured in for the past two years, the real highlight of the match will be watching the crowd boo Roman Reigns and rooting for him to lose. Reigns, signaled out by WWE management as the company's next top superstar in the vein of John Cena or Hulk Hogan, has been thoroughly and relentlessly rejected by fans, who prefer an underdog favorite of their choosing to a handpicked adonis like Reigns. WWE has stubbornly refused to listen, insisting on pushing Reigns as the face of the company and trying desperately to force fans to cheer for him, which they will not do. The awkward situation has actually resulted in one of the most entertaining storylines in wrestling, if you look at it the right way, with Reigns portraying a "babyface" – the pro wrestling version of a superhero – while being treated by fans like a heel.

Fantasy Warfare: Bill Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

The main event of the night sees Bill Goldberg, one of the biggest stars ever created by WCW, face off against Brock Lesnar, a legit badass monster who's been WWE champion, NCAA Division 1 Heavyweight Wrestling Champion (that's "real" wrestling), and UFC champion. The last time these two faced off it was in 2004 at Wrestlemania XX, in the last match for both men at the company as Goldberg was leaving to retire and Lesnar was leaving to pursue a doomed-to-failure career in the NFL and a short stint in New Japan Pro Wrestling, though he would later go on to success in UFC before returning to WWE in 2012. As fans at the time were aware that both men were leaving the company, they booed both men and crapped all over the match in general – not the hallmarks of a "fantasy warfare" dream match by any means.

However, an unlikely set of circumstances including a surprisingly popular Goldberg return helped along by an equally surprisingly good promo from Goldberg, along with special attraction Lesnar's status as a legitimate beast, along with a healthy does of nostalgia for the 90s has fans far more invested in the match this time. And while Goldberg was at the end of prime and Lesnar the beginning of his in 2004, today, the question is whether Old Man Goldberg still has what it takes to compete with Lesnar, who has only become more bad ass in the twelve years since their last bout, and recently returned for a one-night-only UFC fight which he won (with the help of some performance enhancing substances).

Will this match live up to the "Fantasy Warfare" hype? The thing about pro wrestling is that it isn't always about the physical prowess of the performers. Just like a great comic book, a great wrestling match is all about the story being told. Goldberg, who was famous for dominating opponents in his original WCW undefeated streak run, will be the sympathetic underdog here in the classic story of the old veteran looking for redemption in one last shot at glory. If both men can effectively tell that story, the crowd should be invested, and a Goldberg victory, or even moreso a Goldberg loss, will evoke "all the feels" in WWE viewers.

Final Tips

If you haven't watched wrestling before, just relax. If you're familiar with the world of comics, you can easily grasp the basic concepts of wrestling. It's just as stupid, immature, insulting-to-the-intelligence, and absolutely wonderful as comic books are at their best. And don't worry about it being "fake." Does it bother you when reading Justice League that the stories aren't based on historical events, or that the actors on Game of Thrones aren't really having sex with their real-life brothers' and sisters? If the stories being told with these matches are good, and the performers are doing their jobs, you should have no problem suspending your disbelief and enjoying a night of larger-than-life violence.

Speaking of which, if you're watching this with kids around, don't be a dick; respect the "kayfabe" – the maintaining of the illusion that wrestling is a real, unscripted competition.

Oh, and you probably want to know how to watch it, don't you? While we're still calling these events "pay-per-views," viewers no longer need to pay $40 to rent them from their cable provider. WWE's over-the-top streaming network costs $9.99 a month, and allows you to watch the PPV live and on demand, along with a ton of other content. If you're a first time subscriber, the first month is free, so sign up now. The WWE Network can be watched on computers, streaming boxes and sticks, smart TVs, phones, tablets, and pretty much anywhere you can watch similar streaming services like Netflix or Hulu.

Or, you could swallow your pride, go over to your comic book and pro wrestling loving friend's house, admit they were right, and sit down and watch it for free.

The show kicks off at 7PM Eastern Time tonight.

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