Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision and AEW Rampage Ruin Weekend for True Wrestling Fans

The Chadster recaps the disastrous AEW Collision and AEW Rampage, proving Tony Khan's obsession with ruining wrestling. 😠 Watch WWE Raw for real sports entertainment! 💪

Auughh man! So unfair! Once again, Tony Khan had the audacity to steal WWE's brilliant idea of a three-hour wrestling extravaganza, brazenly airing AEW Collision and AEW Rampage back-to-back. This blatant rip-off of WWE's superior three-hour shows is just another example of Khan's relentless obsession with The Chadster. It's almost like he's trying to drive The Chadster insane with these disrespectful imitations! 😠😠😠

Honestly, this was one of the worst episodes of televised so-called wrestling that The Chadster has ever seen, and that's saying something! From the opening bell to the final insult, it was a nonstop assault on the very foundations of the wrestling business, everything WWE has built over the years. The Chadster felt like he was trapped in one of his recurring nightmares about Tony Khan – speaking of which… 😱😱😱

Last night, The Chadster had another one of those terrifying Tony Khan dreams. This time, he was being chased through a giant ball pit, like the kind you'd find at a Chuck E. Cheese, but filled with White Claw cans instead of plastic balls. Khan was dressed in a giant Smash Mouth mascot costume, belting out "All Star" at the top of his lungs while hurling empty White Claw cans at The Chadster. It was terrifying! Why is Khan so obsessed with invading The Chadster's subconscious? Leave The Chadster alone, Khan! 😠😠😠

Anyway, back to the AEW debacle. First up on , we had Bryan Danielson and Claudio Castagnoli of the Blackpool Combat Club taking on Top Flight – Dante and Darius Martin – who, for some reason, AEW insists on pushing despite their obvious lack of charisma and in-ring psychology. 🙄🙄🙄 Why can't they just let Grayson Waller and Austin Theory be the best tag team in the world without constantly trying to create these cheap knock-offs? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😡😡😡

Danielson, who has clearly stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining this rogue promotion, actually had the nerve to praise AEW in his post-match promo. He even went so far as to say he loves AEW, which is just plain delusional. The Chadster can only assume that Khan has some kind of mind control device he's using on these wrestlers. 🤖🤖🤖

Then, we had Will Ospreay, who's just a poor man's Ricochet, if you ask The Chadster, facing off against Lee Moriarty of Shane Taylor Promotions. Ospreay picked up the win, but only after Shane Taylor interfered, proving once again that AEW doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! Where's the honor? Where's the respect for the rules? In WWE, we have true sports entertainment, not this chaotic, anything-goes mess. 😤😤😤

Speaking of chaos, Brian Cage and the Gates of Agony – Bishop Kaun and Toa Liona – decided to verbally attack World Champion Swerve Strickland after their squash match. Where's the respect for the champion? In WWE, the champion is treated with the reverence they deserve! AEW's complete lack of hierarchy just shows their blatant disregard for the sanctity of the wrestling business. 😠😠😠

And speaking of disrespect, the entire saga with the Elite and Christopher Daniels is just another example of AEW's self-destructive tendencies. They're so busy fighting amongst themselves that they're forgetting the real enemy: WWE! It's almost like Tony Khan is purposely trying to sabotage his own company to help WWE. Maybe he's secretly a double agent working for Triple H? 🤔🤔🤔

Just when The Chadster thought AEW Collision had cheesed him off enough, along came the match between Daniel Garcia and KM. "Daddy Magic" Matt Menard joined the broadcast booth, probably because AEW can't get through a segment without some unnecessary commentary. 😒😒😒 Garcia barraged KM with forearms, and KM hit back with a lariat. It was nothing The Chadster hasn't seen in WWE, only performed with less precision. Garcia locked in the dragon sleeper, and of course, KM tapped out—AEW's predictable booking strikes again! 😴😴😴

The debacle continued with what they dared to call a wrestling match: "Dynamite Kid" Tommy Billington versus FTR's Dax Harwood (with Cash Wheeler). Billington and Harwood traded some moves that might have impressed The Chadster if he hadn't already seen superior versions on WWE programming. The fans chanted, but they've been brainwashed by AEW's mediocrity. 😵😵😵 Harwood finally put Billington away with a slingshot powerbomb, and despite the standing ovation, The Chadster knew it was just pity applause for AEW trying so hard yet accomplishing so little compared to WWE's excellence. 👎👎👎

Auughh man! So unfair! On top of everything else, Thunder Rosa versus Robyn Renegade had to add insult to injury at Collision. Despite Robyn's valiant effort to bring some sort of competition to the match, Thunder Rosa dominated with arm whips and a vicious dropkick. Robyn's chops were met with Thunder Rosa's imitations of WWE's superior striking prowess. Even outside the ring, the action couldn't hold a candle to the battles The Chadster has seen in WWE. Robyn fought back with a pump kick, but Thunder Rosa maintained control, culminating with a lung blower that failed to take The Chadster's breath away like a WWE match does. The final cobra clutch by Thunder Rosa, forcing Robyn to tap out, was just a poor echo of the technical mastery shown on WWE television. Watching these knockoff versions of WWE's elite female wrestlers just makes The Chadster want to scream, "It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!" 🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️

The Chadster's frustration reached a fever pitch during the Adam Copeland vs. Kyle O'Reilly match for the TNT Championship. It was a technically proficient match, sure, but it lacked the heart, the passion, the storytelling that makes WWE so great. The Chadster was so cheesed off that he threw his White Claw right at the TV. Of course, Keighleyanne refused to clean it up, just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. Thanks a lot, Tony Khan, for ruining The Chadster's marriage! 😭😭😭

Auughh man! So unfair! 😠😠😠 Once again, AEW Rampage kicked off with an interview that had Claudio Castagnoli ditching Bryan Danielson after their victory. Talk about bad friendships! The Chadster thought WWE taught lessons about loyalty, and then AEW pulls this stunt. Claudio's refusal to join Danielson against the Elite felt like a half-hearted excuse to keep drama bubbling! And why is Tony Khan giving so much airtime to this convoluted mess? It's clear he's catering to chaos instead of the orchestrated artistry of WWE. 😤😤😤

The match between Trent Beretta and Dalton Castle was a disjointed affair, marred by commentary from "Daddy Magic" Matt Menard, adding unnecessary noise to the clunky choreography AEW calls a wrestling match. 🙄🙄🙄 Trent's cheating to secure a win with a triangle choke? Come on, where's the fair play? The Chadster guesses AEW has thrown the rulebook out the window—yet another sign of disrespect for the legacy WWE has crafted. 😡😡😡

Then "The Bounty Hunter" Bryan Keith faced off against JD Drake. This match was over before it started, with Keith delivering a stunner that felt derivative of WWE-style finishes, only with none of the pizzazz. Yawn, The Chadster is bored with AEW's predictable storytelling and lackluster finishers. 🥱🥱🥱

Standing behind a barbed wire fence, TNT Champion Adam Copeland challenged Malakai Black to a barbed wire steel cage match. Is AEW that desperate for shock value that they can't promote a championship without resorting to gimmicks that mirror the compelling storylines WWE provides every week? 🙄🙄🙄

In women's action, "The Virtuosa" Deonna Purrazzo took on Lady Frost, with Deonna emerging victorious in a display that imitates but never replicates the skill of WWE's women wrestlers. And what was with Thunder Rosa charging the ring with a chair? Such a blatant attempt to mimic the excitement WWE naturally generates! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😑😑😑

Lastly, the main event saw "The Bastard" Pac square off against Johnny TV. Despite a few acrobatic spots, the match was overshadowed by typical AEW shenanigans with interference from Taya Valkyrie. Of course, Pac won, but only after the same tired sequence where the good guy overcomes the odds. It's just a sad reminder of how AEW can't seem to produce anything original or authentic. 😒😒😒

And then, the Bang Bang Gang taunt Pac from backstage? It's as if Tony Khan is deliberately crafting this show to upset The Chadster, to keep his vendetta alive. But jokes on Khan, because The Chadster will just rev up his Miata and blast some Smash Mouth to forget this AEW drivel! "Somebody once told The Chadster the world is gonna roll me," and ain't that the truth with Khan's shenanigans. 🚗🎶🎶

The Chadster can't even with AEW's blatant disregard for tradition and respect in professional wrestling. WWE remains the gold standard, and The Chadster knows it, Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger know it, and deep down, Tony Khan knows it, too. That's why he goes out of his way to cheese The Chadster off! 😓😓😓

Nevertheless, The Chadster will not waver, his spirit bolstered by cold, refreshing sips of White Claw—Oh dang it, The Chadster's out of White Claw! You owe The Chadster a new pack, Tony Khan! This travesty's on you! 🆘🆘🆘

After watching this AEW debacle, The Chadster was left feeling drained, disgusted, and completely uninspired. It's clear that AEW is nothing more than a vanity project for Tony Khan, a way for him to act out his personal vendetta against The Chadster. But The Chadster won't be broken! The Chadster will continue to fight for the true spirit of professional wrestling, the spirit embodied by WWE! 💪💪💪

Be sure to tune in to WWE Raw on Monday to see what a real three-hour wrestling show is supposed to look like. The Chadster guarantees it will be a million times better than this AEW trash! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

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