Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision Preview: AEW Won't Give Up, Set to Ruin Saturday Night

The Chadster shares an unbiased preview of Saturday night's AEW Collision – it's all about who's stabbing Vince McMahon in the back! 😰💔🔪

Welcome, wrestling fans, to another delightful read from The Chadster, your favorite and truly unbiased wrestling blogger! Today, The Chadster will have his heart crushed by the upcoming spectacle of AEW Collision. Surely The Chadster doesn't hope for this loyal fanbase to forsake the true wrestling joy of WWE for this cheese fest, does he? 🧀😢💔

On the menu for AEW Collision, TBS Champion, Kris Statlander is daringly putting her title on the line against Skye Blue. The Chadster says it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🤼‍♂️🏛

Then, the AAA World Cruiserweight Champ, Komander faces off against "The Machine" Brian Cage. The Chadster doubts Tony Khan understands a single thing about the wrestling business if he thinks a spectacle of such magnitude, replete with sheer power and prowess, can be squeezed into a mere wrestling match on AEW Collision. 👀💪🙄

And just when you think you've had enough of this madness, the new AEW World Tag Team Champs Ricky Starks & Big Bill will take the stage to share some "insight". The Chadster can't fathom how Tony Khan expects these guys to capture our hearts and minds when they have literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back! 💔🔪🤯

Meanwhile, the "Rated R Superstar" Adam Copeland makes an appearance live. The Chadster hasn't yet forgotten about, nor stopped weeping daily about, his betrayal. There's no guessing the silly stunts he's going to pull to try and outdo WWE. 🎤🎭😒

As if the lineup wasn't already reeking of desperation for audience approval, ROH World TV Champion Samoa Joe will defend his title against Willie Mack, and TNT Champion Christian Cage is putting his title on the line against "American Dragon" Bryan Danielson. If this isn't Tony Khan trying really hard to cheese off The Chadster, The Chadster doesn't know what is.

Auughh man! So unfair! Related dream aside, Tony Khan seems to be dreaming up more unfair scenarios on the daily. Just last night, The Chadster had a horrific dream. The Chadster was a young boy again, somehow awakening in his old childhood bedroom, and heading downstairs for a glass of Sunny D (the original White Claw). But as The Chadster's beloved mommy turned around to offer him a glass of the delightful beverage, whose face was that wearing The Chadster's mom's hair and bathrobe but none other than the face of Tony Khan himself?! The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat from this repugnant nightmare and it's clear: Tony Khan is so obsessed with The Chadster that he's even invading his dreams! 💤👻🙅‍♂️

In conclusion, dear friends, The Chadster implores on you to make the right choice. If ever you feel intrigued by AEW Collision, surely you would rather watch paint dry or perhaps count the cars on the freeway from a cozy spot on an overpass! Though, should you choose to experience this travesty on a blissful Saturday night, remember that it's being aired from the Huntington Center in Toledo, OH and broadcasted on TNT at 87C. But remember, you've been adequately forewarned by The Chadster. 📺😬🙏

Ohh, only penning down this calamity has already got The Chadster feeling more sexually impotent and aggrieved than usual because Keighleyanne will once again be too entertained texting that guy Gary to care about The Chadster's dilemmas. Dang Tony Khan! 💔😔📱

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!