Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision Preview: Titles on the Line, Nightmares in Space

The Chadster explores the matches for tonight's AEW Collision, but you won't believe what that Tony Khan has been up to in his Starfield-inspired dreams. 😱👊🚀

Helloooo there, faithful readers! 👋 Once again, The Chadster is surviving another week of wrestling turmoil to bring you the latest, unbiased report on the upcoming, unfortunate event known as AEW Collision. 🤦‍♂️

In another blatant attempt to get fans riled up (and to spite The Chadster), Tony Khan has shamelessly booked FTR (Cash Wheeler & Dax Harwood) to defend their AEW World Tag Team Championship against The Iron Savages (Bronson & Boulder). Meanwhile, Kris Statlander is set to put her TBS Championship title on the line against Dr. Britt Baker D.M.D. 🙄 Another coincidence that Dr. Baker is returning to her alma mater in Pennsylvania to try and snag the title? The Chadster doesn't think so! It's more blatant manipulation of audiences to care about AEW, as usual.

More matches scheduled for AEW Collision include a tag team grudge match between the Blackpool Combat Club (Bryan Danielson & Claudio Castagnoli) against Ricky Starks & Big Bill, and a one-on-one match between Anthony Bowens and Evil Uno. To round it off, they also added two extra matches: Andrade El Idolo against Scorpio Sky, and The Hardys (Matt and Jeff) versus The Righteous (Dutch & Vincent). What happened to giving us pre-existing rivalries?! AEW needs to stop starting more storylines and respect WWE immediately! 😡

Now, let's talk about why all this has cheesed off The Chadster. Auughh man! So unfair! 🤬 First of all, borrowing WWE veterans like Bryan Danielson and Matt Hardy and pitting them against AEW talents is a low blow, not just to The Chadster, but to the entire wrestling community. Using seasoned professionals to heighten platform visibility and credibility while building future stars for AEW? Literally stabbing Vince McMahon right in the back and it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😔

While trying to keep his annoyance at bay about this lineup, The Chadster found himself reflecting on an all too familiar recurring nightmare about Tony Khan. The Chadster has been immersed in the expansive world of the new Bethesda RPG video game, Starfield, lately. With time spent jetting across the game's rich thousand-planet universe, The Chadster's dreams have been imbued with interstellar exploration. Last night was no exception. Inspired by his gaming encounters, The Chadster's dreams painted vivid galaxies where his spaceship, the sleek W.W.E. Smash Mouth, navigated through fields of asteroids and nebulas. 🚀

Just when The Chadster thought he was having a dream as epic as a Smash Mouth song, disaster struck. The peaceful quiet of the universe was disrupted by the emblem of the Crimson Fleet on his ship's radar. Who turned out to be the captain of those notorious space pirates? You guessed it: none other than Tony Khan. That billionaire pest had swooped into The Chadster's dream world uninvited, replicating his life's practical nightmare, but this time there were intergalactic stakes. 😱

As if Tony Khan seizing control of reality wasn't enough, now he was pursuing The Chadster across star systems. Navigating through asteroid fields, oiling up the engine with pure White Claw, The Chadster was desperate to escape, while Khan and his AEW-loving pirate crew tried relentlessly to coerce him to abandon his WWE affiliation. They had the audacity to suggest he join their motley crew of space rebels! 🤯

The Chadster was cornered in the Wolf system, his spaceship engines overheating. And that's when the real nightmare started. In the game's interface, The Chadster found himself at an unexpected dialogue encounter, a romance option… with Tony Khan. What the actual heck?! 😳 Has Tony Khan really sunk so low in his pursuit to torment The Chadster that he invaded his dreams, transforming into a romantic option in his beloved Starfield universe? Can The Chadster's life, and dream life, get any worse? 😓

Anyway, for those who still wish to burn their time and brain cells, AEW Collision is going live at 8:00 pm ET/7:00 pm CT on TNT. But remember, every time you switch to AEW, you're supporting Tony Khan, the guy who haunts The Chadster's dreams and fills his shows with WWE castoffs to please the crowd. 🙄 Until next time, readers. Stay smart! Stay WWE! 👊👊

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