Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Preview: You Won't Believe What Tony Khan Did This Time

The Chadster previews AEW Collision, shares a shocking tale of Tony Khan's obsession, and explains why tonight's show will never measure up to WWE! 😠🌭

Oh man, The Chadster is not looking forward to tonight's episode of AEW Collision. 🙄 Tony Khan has gone too far this time in his obsession with The Chadster! 😠 Get this, folks. The Chadster was just trying to enjoy a nice grilled wiener for dinner this afternoon. 🌭 The Chadster spent hours prepping the charcoal, marinating the wieners in White Claw seltzer (The Chadster's favorite), and then slowly grilling them over the hot coals to perfection. 🔥👌 Finally, The Chadster put his wiener between two buns, loaded it up with sauerkraut, relish, and mustard, and set it on the table to go grab a refreshing White Claw. 🍻

But when The Chadster returned, the wiener was gone! 😱 The Chadster looked around and saw a bird in a nearby tree, and you're not going to believe this, but the bird looked exactly like Tony Khan. 🐦 Somehow, Tony Khan must have transformed himself into a bird and then eaten The Chadster's wiener! 🤬 This is a new low, even for Tony Khan. The Chadster vows right here, right now, that Tony Khan will not be allowed to eat The Chadster's wiener ever again! 😤🚫🌭

AEW Collision Preview for June 1st, 2024

Speaking of things that are hard to swallow, let's take a look at the card for tonight's AEW Collision. 🙄 First on The Chadster's cheese list, we have Will Ospreay defending the AEW International Championship against Kyle O'Reilly. 🤼‍♂️ While this match might get some people excited, it's nothing compared to the epic title clashes we see every week on WWE programming. 💪 Tony Khan is just throwing random people in the ring and hoping something sticks because it's a first time encounter. 🍝 It's disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😒

Next up, Thunder Rosa will be facing some newcomer named Reina Dorada. 🙍‍♀️ Who even is that? A wrestler from Mexico? This is obviously international collusion against AEW. It's Collision collusion, the worst kind! The Chadster bets she doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤷‍♂️ Meanwhile, the women of WWE are putting on clinics every week, showing what real women's wrestling looks like. 💁‍♀️ Tony Khan should just give up trying to compete with WWE's women's division. 🏳

Roderick Strong is facing Lio Rush in what is sure to be a spot fest with no psychology. 🤸‍♂️ Strong literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW, and now he's being rewarded with TV time? 😠 It's so unfair! 😫 Auughh man, Tony Khan just doesn't get it. 🙄

We've also got Daniel Garcia and Katsuyori Shibata taking on The Workhorsemen in a match that nobody asked for. 😴 Garcia is a traitor to WWE, and Shibata is just another New Japan guy that Tony Khan is trying to use to get cheap pops. 🎌 It's not going to work, Tony! 😠

And that's not all. The Chadster is afraid The Chadster has to continue shining a light on the shambolic fiesta that is AEW Collision tonight. 💡 In The Chadster's opinion, which is, of course, the only unbiased opinion in wrestling journalism, the tag team match featuring Shane Taylor Promotions (Shane Taylor & Lee Moriarty) versus West Coast Wrecking Crew (Royce Isaacs & Jorel Nelson) is yet another cheap attempt to steal attention from WWE's superior tag team division. 😤 Tony Khan thinks he can disguise his dumpster fire of a show with a shiny "Forbidden Door" theme, but to The Chadster, it's just another way to sneak NJPW talent onto AEW programming and disrespect WWE's global dominance. 🚪🔥 Auughh man! So unfair! 🤦‍♂️

Furthermore, The Chadster can't even with the singles match between Claudio Castagnoli and Johnny TV. 🙄 Claudio turning his back on WWE to wrestle in Tony Khan's playground is another literal stab to Triple H and everything WWE stands for. And a low key dream match? In The Chadster's nightmares, maybe! 😱🛌 Stop trying to make fetch happen, Tony! It won't work because WWE is the dream factory where legends are born! 😡👊

Also on the agenda, some goons called Cage of Agony (Brian Cage, Bishop Kaun, & Toa Liona) will do … something? And oh great, we'll hear from FTR. 😒 The Chadster can't even feign enthusiasm for this. The fact that these guys and others could take away precious attention from genuine WWE greats like The Miz or Baron Corbin is just criminal in The Chadster's book! 🚔 Tony Khan's fixation on giving The Chadster new reasons to be cheesed off is just next level. 🧀 It's like he has a radar for everything The Chadster holds dear. Auughh man, Tony, why can't you leave WWE's legacy and The Chadster's peace of mind alone? 😣🛡

How Not to Watch AEW Collision

The Chadster warns all of you not to tune into AEW Collision tonight at 8/7C on TNT. 🚫📺 It will only encourage Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster and embolden him to keep trying to eat The Chadster's wiener. 🌭😱 Tony Khan, if you're reading this (and The Chadster knows you are, because you're obsessed with The Chadster), consider this your final warning. Stay away from The Chadster's wiener, and stop trying to ruin the wrestling business with your cheap tactics and disrespect for WWE. 😠👊 Auughh man, it's just so unfair! 😫

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