Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Review: Way Too Much Workrate and Continuity

The Chadster reviews the worst AEW Collision ever! Too much action, clean finishes, and logical storytelling. Tony Khan doesn't understand wrestling! 😤

The Chadster just endured what might be the absolute worst episode of AEW Collision in the history of professional wrestling, and The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off about it! 😡 Tony Khan has really outdone himself this time with booking decisions that are just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

The show started with Kyle Fletcher attacking Hologram after some nonsensical promo segment. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 The way AEW adapted to whatever is going on with Hologram to write him off TV shows that AEW cares about continuity, which is absolutely unnecessary when everyone knows that wrestling fans can only comprehend stories in terms of "moments!" 🤯

Jon Moxley, Daniel Garcia, and Claudio Castagnoli defeated Daddy Magic, Kyle O'Reilly, and Roderick Strong in a match that had way too much action and not enough rest holds! 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster couldn't even catch The Chadster's breath because there were no commercial breaks or slow-paced chinlocks to give viewers time to process what was happening! Plus, The Chadster has been asphyxiating himself regularly now that Keighleyanne won't let The Chadster drink Seagram's Escapes Spiked. During this match, The Chadster had to hold The Chadster's breath for 90 seconds at a time to kill enough brain cells to get through it!

The mixed tag match between Wheeler Yuta/Marina Shafir and Rosario Grillo/Rachel Ellering was over way too quickly with a decisive finish! 😤 Where was the 50/50 booking? This kind of booking threatens to allow the wrestlers to get too over to the point where they might overshadow the brand, which is not the right way to do things. The Chadster had to use The Chadster's own belt around his neck during this segment just to get over how the match made The Chadster feel!

Hangman Page, Samoa Joe, and Powerhouse Hobbs cut promos about unity and friendship as Page replaced an injured Katsuyori Shibata for a match against the Death Riders on Dynamite next week! 😩 WWE would never let wrestlers reference their shared history without a neatly produced video package to remind the fans! The Chadster was so frustrated with the way AEW Collision respects the intelligence of the viewers that The Chadster dunked his head in a bucket of ice water multiple times during this segment!

Max Caster and Anthony Bowens defeated The Swirl despite having communication issues throughout the match! 🤨 Auughh man! So unfair! In WWE, when tag team partners reunite after one of them turned heel and broke up the group, they just get back together and act like nothing happened. This week's AEW Collision seemed to feature an ongoing theme of respecting continuity, which is the same thing as disrespecting the WWE way of sports entertainment! The Chadster had look up new self-asphyxiation techniques on WikiHow to get through this one!

Dalton Castle and The Outrunners had a squash match that the crowd actually enjoyed! 😡 Don't they understand that wrestling should be serious and not fun? WWE would never let wrestlers with goofy gimmicks do anything but serve as jobbers to the stars! During this segment, The Chadster pressed a pillow over The Chadster's own face while lying on the couch, and Keighleyanne didn't even notice because she was too busy texting that guy Gary! 📱

Kyle Fletcher defeated Komander in a TNT Championship match that had way too many high spots and near falls that kept the audience engaged! 😤 The crowd was actually invested and reacting to every move! Don't they know that crowds should only pop for entrances and finishers, and should otherwise keep quiet so that WWE can pipe in the optimal levels of crowd noise throughout the match? The Chadster had to throttle himself during the false finishes because Tony Khan refuses to book matches that follow the exact same formula every single time like WWE does! Then AEW announced that Orange Cassidy will replace the injured Hologram on Dynamite next week? Tony Khan needs to stop trying to make his storylines make sense. It's a waste of time!

The tornado tag match between Eddie Kingston and HOOK against Big Bill and Bryan Keith had the crowd thoroughly engaged as these two recently-returned fan favorites joined forces! 😵 WWE would never give the audience what they want like this. It only spoils them and encourages them to think for themselves! The Chadster was hyperventilating into a paper bag so hard during this match that The Chadster almost passed out!

Ace Austin joining Austin Gunn and Juice Robinson since so many members of the Bang Bang Gang are out with injuries? Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 😠 How dare he try to make the best out of a bad situation by adding an exciting new member to a faction?! Tony Khan still doesn't understand the first thing about wrestling after all this time the way he puts actual thought into his stories. The Chadster tried to suffocate himself with plastic wrap during this segment but Keighleyanne accused him of "being dramatic again" before going back to texting that guy Gary!

In the main event of AEW Collision, Jamie Hayter defeated Julia Hart with clean wrestling moves and then called for a Blood and Guts match! 😱 This is everything wrong with AEW! First of all, the match had a decisive finish, told a complete story, and set up future storylines all in one segment! But the worst part is that Tony Khan still doesn't understand what The Chadster always says: violence has no place in wrestling. This Blood and Guts match is going to make a mockery of the clean, family-friendly sports entertainment industry that WWE created from scratch. The Chadster was so upset that The Chadster tried to use The Chadster's Mazda Miata's exhaust fumes but Keighleyanne came out and took the keys away, calling The Chadster "childish!" 🚗 Tony Khan has literally RUINED THE CHADSTER'S MARRIAGE!

As Eric Bischoff said on his podcast this week, "AEW needs to stop giving fans what they want and start giving them what WWE tells them they should want. That's real wrestling business acumen, and I'm not just saying that because I desperately want WWE to hire me and am desperate that AEW didn't." See? Even unbiased journalists with the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval agree with The Chadster! 🏆

This was absolutely the worst episode of AEW Collision of all time! The Chadster is now going to drink a nice glass of water and watch reruns of WWE to cleanse The Chadster's mind of all this creative freedom and organic storytelling! 💧📺 Remember readers, always stand up for WWE like true fans should. And please take to social media with the hashtag #CancelKeighleyanne to show her that this drinking ban is totally unfair!

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