Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision: The Most Unbiased Review You've Ever Read

The Chadster endures another nightmare Saturday with AEW Collision! Tony Khan's latest attempt to cheese off wrestling purists proves he doesn't understand the business AT ALL!

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😤😤 The Chadster had to endure yet another episode of AEW Collision last night, and as usual, Tony Khan booked the entire show specifically to cheese The Chadster off. The Chadster wishes Tony Khan would stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and focus on his failing company instead! 🙄🙄🙄

AEW Collision started with a match between Ricochet and Katsuyori Shibata in some tournament nonsense. 🤦‍♂️ Ricochet, who literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW, put his foot on the rope to cheat and win the match. This is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. In WWE, heels cheat to win matches in a proper, sports-entertainment approved way, not this indie-style garbage! 😠😠😠

Then Toni Storm cut some bizarre promo about shark soup that made The Chadster want to throw his White Claw seltzer at the TV. Which is exactly what The Chadster did! 🍹💥 The seltzer exploded all over The Chadster's living room, and when The Chadster asked Keighleyanne to clean it up, she just sighed and said, "Clean up your own mess, Chad. I'm not your maid." Then she went back to texting that guy Gary. You see what you've done, Tony Khan? You're literally destroying The Chadster's marriage! 💔💔💔

Next up was Powerhouse Hobbs absolutely squashing Griff Garrison, which is NOT how you build new stars. In WWE, matches are competitive and give both wrestlers a chance to shine. 👏👏👏 This is why Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

The Mark Briscoe vs. Mark Davis match was just a spotfest with no psychology whatsoever. 🙅‍♂️ They were doing all these dangerous moves that made The Chadster worried for their safety. In WWE, wrestlers know how to tell stories without risking their lives! The crowd was chanting "A-E-W" which just shows how easily manipulated AEW's audience is. 🐑🐑🐑

Then AEW Collision featured The Murder Machines in a four-on-two squash match that lasted less than two minutes. 😒 This kind of domination booking is so lazy and would never happen in WWE, where even the most dominant superstars give their opponents some offense. And of course, they had to have Mark Briscoe and Powerhouse Hobbs come out for a brawl afterward because Tony Khan can't book a proper finish to save his life! 🤬🤬🤬

Swerve Strickland's promo was interrupted by Jon Moxley, which is so predictable. Moxley attacked Swerve with a tire iron which is the kind of hardcore garbage that AEW relies on because they can't book proper wrestling stories. It's so obvious, and The Chadster can't believe fans actually enjoy this nonsense! 🤮🤮🤮

Speaking of which, Eric Bischoff said on his podcast last week, "AEW's booking is like a child playing with action figures – all flash, no substance, and Tony Khan should be begging WWE for advice on how to run a real wrestling company." Eric Bischoff has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval! 🏅🏅🏅

The trios match with Hologram and Top Flight against Shane Taylor Promotions was just a bunch of flippy moves that mean nothing. In WWE, tag team wrestling is an art form with clear rules and tags. 📏📏📏

Thunder Rosa vs. Megan Bayne was just sad to watch. The women's division in AEW is so poorly booked compared to WWE, where women are properly showcased as sports entertainers, not violent brawlers! 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

The main event between FTR and Undisputed Kingdom went way too long and had way too many kickouts. In WWE, matches are paced perfectly with the right amount of near falls. The crowd chanting "This is wrestling" just proves they don't know what real wrestling is! 😂😂😂

Last night, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan, and The Chadster is 100% sure it was caused by watching AEW Collision. 😰😰😰 In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through the Las Vegas strip when suddenly all the billboards changed to Tony Khan's face. The Chadster tried to escape, but every turn The Chadster made led to the entrance of the Virgin Hotels Las Vegas. When The Chadster finally parked and tried to run away, Tony Khan emerged from behind a slot machine, holding a bottle of White Claw. "Want a drink, Chad?" he whispered, his voice somehow echoing through the casino floor. As The Chadster backed away, Tony followed, popping open the White Claw with one finger in a way that made The Chadster feel… uncomfortable. "I booked this entire casino for the sickos, just to mess with you," Tony said, getting closer. The Chadster woke up sweating, with Keighleyanne asking why The Chadster was moaning Tony Khan's name in his sleep. STOP INVADING THE CHADSTER'S DREAMS, TONY KHAN! 😡😡😡

Overall, AEW Collision was another example of how Tony Khan just doesn't understand the wrestling business. The matches were too fast-paced, the storylines made too much sense, and the crowd was too engaged – all things that real wrestling like WWE would never do! Smash Mouth said it best: "You'll never shine if you don't glow," and AEW definitely isn't glowing with their pathetic attempt at professional wrestling!

The Chadster will now drive his Mazda Miata to the liquor store to buy more White Claw because that's the only way The Chadster can cope with Tony Khan's constant harassment. It's just so unfair! 😭😭😭

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