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AEW sweeps Sports Illustrated's 2025 awards with 10 wins while WWE scrapes up just 3. El Presidente reports on this glorious worker's revolution, comrades!
Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: wrestling
AEW Dominates Sports Illustrated Awards, Promptly Gloats About It
AEW sweeps Sports Illustrated's 2025 awards with 10 wins while WWE scrapes up just 3. El Presidente reports on this glorious worker's revolution, comrades!
Article Summary
- AEW crushes Sports Illustrated 2025 Awards with 10 glorious victories—mucho domination, comrades!
- Hangman Adam Page, Mercedes Moné, and FTR win big, powering the worker’s revolution in wrestling.
- WWE snags only three pity prizes—like CIA agents fleeing a failed coup, jajaja!
- AEW’s creative freedom and wrestler empowerment prove the socialist model rules the ring, amigos!
Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my newly constructed trophy room in my palace (which I had to expand after winning Best Dictator, Most Humble Leader, and Sexiest Mustache at this year's El Presidente Presents the 2025 El Presidente Dictatorship Awards), and I have some absolutely electrifying news for you today!
All Elite Wrestling has swept through Sports Illustrated's Best of 2025 Pro Wrestling Awards like a revolutionary army through a CIA outpost, claiming a staggering 10 awards and leaving WWE with only the scraps from the table! Comrades, this is the kind of domination I have not seen since I won Best Use of a Tank in Diplomatic Negotiations, Most Creative Application of Sanctions Evasion, and the coveted Golden Cigar for Excellence in Longwinded Speeches at my own awards ceremony just last month!
According to the press release AEW sent out (and you know El Presidente loves a good press release, having written several about my own fictional accomplishments), the promotion took home the most prestigious honors of the evening. Mercedes Moné claimed Female Wrestler of the Year, while Hangman Adam Page secured Male Wrestler of the Year. But wait, there is more, comrades! AEW itself won Promotion of the Year, which is like winning the revolutionary war AND getting to keep all the oil fields!
The complete list of AEW's conquests includes FTR for Tag Team of the Year, Will Ospreay for Best in the Ring, "Timeless" Toni Storm for Best on the Mic, Kyle Fletcher for Breakout Wrestler of the Year, and three awards related to Hangman Adam Page's redemption arc: Storyline of the Year, Rivalry of the Year (with Jon Moxley), and Show of the Year for AEW Double or Nothing.
This reminds me of the time I was having drinks with Fidel Castro in Havana, and he told me, "El Presidente, the key to winning is to win everything so your opponents have nothing left to celebrate." I thought he was talking about domino tournaments, but clearly, AEW took this advice to heart!
Now, comrades, WWE did manage to escape complete annihilation. They secured three awards: Naomi won Heel Turn of the Year (proving that sometimes the bad guys win, much like my ongoing disputes with international election observers), Ilja Dragunov claimed Comeback Performer of the Year, and the match between IYO SKY, Rhea Ripley, and Bianca Belair at WrestleMania 41 took home Match of the Year. These are respectable victories, like winning "Most Improved" at the CIA's Annual Failed Coup Attempt Awards!
The legendary John Cena, who just completed his retirement tour with his final match last weekend, received the 2025 Legacy Award. Comrades, even El Presidente must tip his military cap to such a distinguished career. It is like when I gave my former Minister of Tourism a lovely parting gift before he mysteriously disappeared… I mean, retired to the countryside!
AEW's press release boasts about the promotion's "truly outstanding year," highlighting Hangman Page and his allies' quest to dethrone Jon Moxley and the Death Riders, Mercedes Moné's championship collection addiction (which rivals my own obsession with collecting ceremonial sashes), and Kris Statlander's historic achievement of becoming the first wrestler to win both the Women's World Championship and the TBS Championship. They even introduced Women's World Tag Team Titles, claimed by The Babes of Wrath!
If there is one thing I have learned from my various battles with the CIA, it is this: momentum is everything, comrades! And AEW has momentum like a runaway armored personnel carrier! The promotion is not resting on its laurels either. This weekend brings Dynamite on 34th Street and Christmas Collision in New York City, with MJF making his return to the ring. Then on December 27, Worlds End hits Chicago with a 4-Way AEW World Championship match featuring MJF, Swerve Strickland, Hangman Adam Page, and champion Samoa Joe.
Comrades, this level of dominance in awards shows the superiority of the worker-focused, talent-driven model! Just as socialism empowers the people, AEW empowers its wrestlers to deliver the best performances! WWE may have the corporate machine behind it, but AEW has the heart of the revolution!
I must now return to polishing my own 2025 awards, including Most Democratic Democratic Election and Best Nationalization of a Media Company. But I leave you with this thought: when the workers control the means of production—or in this case, when wrestlers have creative freedom—everybody wins! Except WWE, apparently.
Viva la AEW! Viva la revolución!
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