Howdy, folks. The Chadster is currently trying to enjoy his Thanksgiving holiday, watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade while Keighleyanne prepares The Chadster's Thanksgiving feast. But instead of enjoying the day, The Chadster just can't stop thinking about last night's episode of AEW Dynamite. Following up on the extremely unfair Full Gear PPV, Tony Khan just had to stick it to The Chadster even further with the Thanksgiving Eve episode of the show.
After watching last night's show, one thing is clear: Tony Khan is never going to let The Chadster enjoy anything again. He just won't give The Chadster a break. And The Chadster knows it's affecting Keighleyanne as well. Just a few minutes ago, The Chadster asked Keighleyanne to make him some breakfast, since The Chadster is doesn't want to starve until the Turkey dinner tonight. But Keighleyanne told The Chadster that The Chadster should make himself breakfast, and that he better not be planning on sitting on the couch all day while she cooks the entire dinner herself.
How AEW Dynamite Ruined The Chadster's Thanksgiving
"Hey, Keighleyanne," The Chadster called out as he entered the kitchen. "The Chadster was thinking he could sit on the couch and watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade while you make us breakfast."
"No way, Chad," Keighleyanne replied. "I'm not your personal chef. You can make your own breakfast for once."
"What's wrong with you?" The Chadster asked. "Are you on Tony Khan's payroll or something?"
"God dang it Chad," Keighleyanne said, rolling her eyes. "I told you, I don't even know who Tony Khan is."
"Oh, right" said The Chadster. "You don't know the guy who's paying you to be mean to The Chadster after already ruining the Chadster's day with last night's AEW Dynamite"
"Chad, if you don't knock it off, I'm going to go have Thanksgiving dinner somewhere else," she said. "Gary invited me, and I wouldn't have to cook at all."
"Auughh man!" The Chadster replied. "So unfair!"
"What's unfair is that you think I'm some kind of servant," Keighleyanne told The Chadster. "I make more money than you. If anything, you should be cooking the meals while I'm sitting on the couch."
"Oh yeah?" said The Chadster, picking up the raw turkey from the counter. "You want The Chadster to make this turkey?!" The Chadster started waving the turkey around, spilling turkey juices all over the floor. Then The Chadster slipped on the juices, and the turkey went flying in the air, and it landed right on The Chadster's head and got stuck.
"Mmmmppph mmmpph!" The Chadster shouted, explaining how getting the turkey stuck on his head was all Tony Khan's fault.
"Chad, get that turkey off your head right now!" ordered Keighleyanne. "You're going to ruin dinner."
"Mmmm mmmpphh mmm," The Chadster replied, pointing out that it's actually Tony Khan and AEW Dynamite that caused all of this to happen.
"Chad, I don't need you to make the turkey," Keighleyanne said, exasperated, after pulling the turkey off The Chadster's head. "I was just making a point."
"Well, The Chadster was just making a point too," The Chadster said. "And The Chadster's point is that Tony Khan is a jerk who's ruining The Chadster's life!"
With that, The Chadster stormed out of the kitchen, his face soaked in juices and his hair covered in gizzards. He plopped down on the couch, turned the TV back on, and began sulking. The Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade was just getting started, but The Chadster didn't care. All he could think about was how Tony Khan had ruined his life. The Chadster wasn't thankful for anything this year. Not the turkey dinner Keighleyanne was making, not the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, and certainly not AEW Dynamite. Tony Khan had taken everything away from The Chadster, and The Chadster was never going to forgive him.
Here are five things The Chadster isn't thankful for from last night's AEW Dynamite.
Jon Moxley confronts William Regal to Open AEW Dynamite
Orange Cassidy Defends the All-Atlantic Championship and House of Black Return
The Elite Troll CM Punk in Best of Seven Trios Match
Ricky Starks Earns a Shot at the AEW Championship at Winter is Coming Dynamite
Jamie Hayter Kicks Off Her Title Reign with Big News on Dynamite
The Acclaimed Arrive on AEW Dynamite
Chris Jericho and Tomohiro Ishii Main Event Dynamite
Well, The Chadster is glad he got that out of his system. Now, The Chadster may not be able to enjoy Thanksgiving thanks to AEW Dynamite, but at least he can look forward to Black Friday.
Wait a minute! AEW Rampage is airing at a special time on Black Friday, even earlier than WWE Smackdown?! Auuughh no! Dang you, Tony Khan! The Chadster hopes everyone has a great Thanksgiving… except for AEW, Tony Khan, and the AEW fans.