Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Fails to Live Up to Even Chadster's Poor Expectations

The Chadster endures another painful AEW Dynamite, featuring chaotic matches, disrespectful segments, and Tony Khan's relentless obsession.

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off after watching last night's episode of AEW Dynamite. 😡😤 It was without a doubt the worst episode of televised so-called wrestling The Chadster has ever seen, which is really saying something considering how much AEW has stabbed WWE right in the back over the years. 🔪🩸

First up, The Chadster had to suffer through a match between MJF and RUSH that didn't even have any commercials to give The Chadster a break. 🙄 The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan insists on booking these hard-hitting matches that just disrespect the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. MJF won after a bunch of moves that looked way too dangerous. It's like Tony Khan doesn't care about wrestler safety at all! 😠

Then, Swerve Strickland and Will Ospreay had some kind of face-to-face segment. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster couldn't believe how unprofessional they were, getting all personal and in each other's faces. In WWE, superstars know how to have a respectful confrontation without resorting to such childish antics. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

Next up was an 8-man tag team match that was just complete chaos. 😵‍💫 The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan insists on booking these overbooked spotfests. It's like he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. In WWE, tag team matches are organized and structured, not this free-for-all nonsense. 🤨

The Young Bucks lost to The Acclaimed in a tag team championship eliminator match. 🙄 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan would book his EVPs to lose like that. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it to treat authority figures that way. Plus, The Acclaimed's gimmick is just so immature with their rapping and scissoring. WWE would never allow such childish antics. 😒

Then there was a women's championship contract signing between Toni Storm and Mina Shirakawa. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan insists on trying to make his women's division seem important. Everyone knows that WWE is the real home of women's wrestling. This segment was just a pale imitation of the classic contract signings WWE does so well. 😑

The Owen Hart Foundation tournament matches were next, with Kris Statlander beating Nyla Rose and PAC defeating Claudio Castagnoli. 😠 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is still exploiting Owen Hart's legacy like this. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

Speaking of disrespect, The Chadster needs to address something else. The Chadster's brother, The Bradster, published an extremely biased post earlier today promoting AEW Dynamite and Collision making their UK debut later this Summer. 😡 The Chadster would like to apologize on behalf of The Bradster for this egregious error in judgment. AEW events should never be praised in that way, especially when pouring salt in the wounds of last year's record-breaking AEW All In London event, which was just so unfair to WWE. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤🤬

The Chadster is so upset about this episode of AEW Dynamite that The Chadster had to throw a White Claw seltzer at the TV. 🍹💥 The Chadster tried to get Keighleyanne to clean up the mess, but she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 This is all Tony Khan's fault for ruining The Chadster's marriage! 😭

To make matters worse, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata through a car wash, but when The Chadster came out the other side, Tony Khan was sitting in the passenger seat! 😨 He was wearing a Smash Mouth t-shirt and drinking The Chadster's White Claw. Tony Khan looked at The Chadster and said, "All that glitters is gold, Chad," before disappearing in a puff of smoke. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. Why does Tony Khan keep invading The Chadster's dreams? He needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster! 😡

The Chadster urges all readers to watch some WWE programming as soon as possible to cleanse themselves of this AEW nonsense. 🧼🚿 Only by watching real sports entertainment can you undo the damage Tony Khan is trying to do to the wrestling business. The Chadster, as one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, along with Ryan Satin and Ariel Helwani, will continue to bring you the truth about AEW's blatant disrespect for the industry. 📝🎤

In conclusion, The Chadster can only hope that one day Tony Khan will realize the error of his ways and stop trying to compete with WWE. Until then, The Chadster will continue to suffer through these awful AEW Dynamite episodes and report on them objectively, no matter how much it hurts. 😔💔

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