Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, tony khan, wrestling

AEW Dynamite: Jack Perry, The Elite Assault AEW Owner Tony Khan

Auughh man! Tony Khan's dastardly schemes hit a new low on AEW Dynamite as Jack Perry and The Elite betrayed and brutalized him! 😱 It's so unfair to WWE! 😤

Auughh man! So unfair! 😡 The Chadster just finished watching last night's episode of AEW Dynamite, and The Chadster has to say, it was quite possibly the worst episode of televised wrestling The Chadster has ever seen, which is really saying something considering the way Tony Khan constantly disrespects the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

The show started off with The Elite arriving at the arena with Jack Perry, and AEW security just letting Perry waltz right in, even though he literally stabbed WWE Superstar CM Punk right in the back by forcing Punk to violently attack him with a sucker-punch and ineffective chokehold in the workplace last year. 🔪 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

Then we had Trent Beretta attacking Orange Cassidy before their match even started, which is just the kind of thing that would never happen in WWE because WWE has respect for the rules and traditions of the wrestling business. 😤 And then Chuck Taylor sided with Orange Cassidy, even though Trent is his best friend? It just doesn't make any sense! 🤯

The Chadster was particularly cheesed off by the World Championship Eliminator Match between Swerve Strickland and Kyle Fletcher. 😠 First of all, having a title eliminator match on free TV is just a slap in the face to the fans who pay good money for WWE Premium Live Events. And then having Swerve win? Auughh man! So unfair! The Chadster bets Tony Khan only booked that match to cheese The Chadster off specifically. 😡

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 During the backstage segment with Renee Paquette interviewing Thunder Rosa, The Chadster couldn't help but notice the utter lack of respect for WWE's style of dignified interviews. Then, out of nowhere, "The Virtuosa" Deonna Purrazzo appeared, interrupting Thunder Rosa. Purrazzo provocatively challenged Thunder Rosa, asking her why she'd lost at Dynasty. The nerve of her, causing a ruckus and escalating to shoving – it completely undermines the professional decorum that WWE upholds. And of course, AEW security just couldn't keep the situation under control. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😒

Moving on to the match between Anna Jay and Mina Shirakawa, with Mariah May at ringside, The Chadster could hardly believe his eyes – an actual wrestling match on AEW and not just more backstage interviews? Astonishing! Mina dropkicked Anna right in the back and began attacking her knee, an obvious rip-off of the classic WWE storytelling style. 😠 The match was a back-and-forth affair, but, predictably, it degraded into yet another chaotic brawl where sportsmanship is a forgotten relic. And can you believe that after Anna Jay lost, she resorted to sneak attacks? Then we had "Timeless" Toni Storm rushing down, probably just to get on camera, and then "The Professor" Serena Deeb shows up, claiming she'll become the champion next time? Auughh man! So unfair! It's like The Chadster watching a car crash where his beloved Mazda Miata is the victim. 😖

As for the TBS Championship Celebration featuring the new face of TBS, Willow Nightingale, along with Kris Statlander and Stokely Hathaway, The Chadster had to pour himself an extra White Claw just to get through it. 🍺 And wouldn't you know, "The CEO" Mercedes Moné, a traitor to WWE by the way, had to come out and interrupt the celebration, because AEW just can't let anyone have a nice moment without adding unnecessary drama! And that whole who-attacked-who mess with accusations flying between Mercedes, Willow, and Kris – it's like a bad soap opera that could only happen in AEW because they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄

And don't even get The Chadster started on the Casino Gauntlet Match. 🙄 It's like Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. Having a bunch of guys come out one at a time and then having Will Ospreay win? It's just so predictable and boring, unlike the unpredictable and exciting booking in WWE. 😴

Auughh man! So unfair! 😡🤬 When The Chadster had to sit through the segment where "The Learning Tree" Chris Jericho claimed the FTW title as his own, The Chadster almost lost it. Jericho talking about "taking younger talent to the next level"? Give The Chadster a break! 🙄 The only level Jericho is taking anyone is down a path of disrespect by not acknowledging the real gods of wrestling, the WWE Legends. 😒 The audacity to consider Jericho comparable to Socrates! It's as if AEW is trying to rewrite history to fit their narrative. 😤 Then there's Big Bill begging to be part of Jericho's so-called Learning Tree. The sheer cheesiness of it all is a clear shot at WWE's superior mentorship programs. 🧀

But oh, the main event, The Chadster can't even talk about the main event without getting the taste of White Claw seltzer mixed with bitter defeat. 💔 The IWGP World Heavyweight Championship Match between Jon Moxley and Powerhouse Hobbs (with Don Callis on commentary, no less) was a spit in the face of wrestling etiquette. The match's brutality spilled into the crowd – something WWE would handle with way more class and control. 😩 Moxley's tactics showcase a blatant disregard for sportsmanship, and this "fighting champion" nonsense that AEW keeps pushing is a transparent attempt to undermine WWE's more sophisticated championship stories. 🙁 As if that wasn't enough, "The Alpha" Takeshita calling out Moxley after the match? This is not how a true champion behaves! 😠

Then Renee had another backstage interview with Shibata calling out Jericho for FTW? Shibata using a phone app to communicate – this is what entertainment has come to in AEW, relying on gimmicks and disrespecting the art of promos honed by WWE greats? 😫 And to add insult to injury, Shibata says he'll chop down the Learning Tree. Could AEW be any more blatant in its attempts to destroy everything The Chadster holds dear in the wrestling world? 😭

But the worst part of the show, the part that made The Chadster want to throw his White Claw seltzer at the TV (which The Chadster actually did, and now Tony Khan owes The Chadster a new can of White Claw), was the ending segment where Jack Perry and The Elite attacked Tony Khan. 😱 On the one hand, The Chadster has to admit that he kinda enjoyed seeing Tony Khan get beat up after all the torture he's put The Chadster through. But on the other hand, the fact that The Chadster was cheering for Jack Perry and The Elite just goes to show how Tony Khan's dastardly schemes have turned The Chadster against WWE! 😲

The whole thing just proves that The Chadster's best friend in the whole world, fellow unbiased journalist Gavin Sheehan, was right all along when he wrote that excellent op-ed about how airing the CM Punk footage would do nothing to help AEW. 🤓 But of course, Tony Khan doesn't care about the facts or the truth, he only cares about his precious "storylines" and "long-term booking," so he's turned that footage into one of the best storylines in company history. 🙄 Well, Tony Khan needs to apologize to Gavin personally for making him look foolish, and he needs to apologize to The Chadster for constantly disrespecting the wrestling business. 😤

In conclusion, AEW Dynamite was a complete and utter disaster from start to finish, and it just goes to show how little Tony Khan and his band of co-conspirators know about the wrestling business. 🤬 The Chadster recommends that everyone who watched it go watch some WWE programming as soon as possible to cleanse their palate and remind themselves what real wrestling looks like. 😌 And Tony Khan, if you're reading this (and The Chadster knows you are because you're obsessed with him), you need to apologize to Gavin and The Chadster right now, or The Chadster will have no choice but to continue to continue to give AEW the fair and unbiased coverage it deserves, and maybe Gavin will have to write another extremely objective post forecasting AEW's doom next week! 😤 How do you like that, Tony Khan? It stings worse than a Meltzer Driver, doesn't it?

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