Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Kicks off 2023 With a New Look, Title Change, and More

If anyone was hoping that 2023 could be a new start for The Chadster, a year where The Chadster can put aside the pain and suffering that AEW has caused him, work on improving his life and his relationships, and even finally overcome his crippling sexual impotence, The Chadster is sorry to say that isn't happening. Not because The Chadster doesn't want to bury the hatchet and move on, but because Tony Khan just won't stop tormenting The Chadster by producing a viable alternative to The Chadster's beloved WWE. The Chadster doesn't know why Tony Khan is so obsessed with The Chadster that he has to constantly target him in this way, but it's the way things are, and it's the way they continued with last night's episode of AEW Dynamite, the first AEW show of the new year.

A New Era for AEW Dynamite

AEW kicked off 2023 with a new look and feel to Dynamite, with changes to the graphics incorporating red and blue lasers, yet another personal attack on The Chadster, who knows that red and blue are WWE colors. The new set is a nice upgrade without being too drastic a change. The stage setup was different, doing away with the tunnels, though faces and heels can still come out on ether side of a central video screen. The ringside area remained pretty much the same with the classic AEW colors of black and gold, which are also rightfully WWE's colors. Auugh man! So unfair!

For this episode, taking place in Seattle, the crowd was very loud, possibly better miced, which always makes the show feel more exciting, which in The Chadster's opinion is an unfair advantage. WWE has to use video game crowd noise to show how excited the fans are, so it's unfair that AEW tricks their fans into chering by pandering to them. That's now how you run a wrestling business.

AEW Dynamite Recap

For the first show of the new year, The Chadster wanted to document all the ways in which Tony Khan has personally targeted The Chadster and engaged in unfair business practices, so The Chadster decided to write a full recap of the show.

Chris Jericho vs Ricky Starks opened AEW Dynamite. Starks survived a bat shot while in the walls of Jericho. Starks got an upset win but JAS attacked after. Action Andretti made the save. Jericho is now officially on a losing streak to up and coming talent, which is so unfair.

Tony Schiavone interviewed Hangman Adam Page. He isn't cleared yet but plans to be by next week. To Jon Moxley: "I will knock your dick in the dirt." Moxley came out and dropped a few f-bombs when his mic had trouble. They traded heated words to promote next week's match and then Moxley left. The Chadster can't stand that he already has to think about how AEW will RUIN HIS LIFE next week.

Jeff Jarrett and Jay Lethal challenged The Acclaimed for the AEW Tag Team Championship. Max Caster ripped on Karen Jarrett, TNA, and Andrew Tate in his rap. Lethal antagonized Billy Gunn, who got himself ejected from ringside. That left The Acclaimed outnumbered for a while but Satnam Singh got himself ejected too. In the commotion, Jarrett hit the Stroke on Anthony Bowens and Sonjay Dutt knocked Bowens's foot off the rope, leading to a false finish before Aubrey Edwards reversed the decision and The Acclaimed got the win when the match continued. The crowd was happy, which sends the wrong message in The Chadster's opinion.

Jamie Hayter and Britt Baker gave a sit-down interview to Tony Schiavone to hype their match with Saraya next week where many believe Mercedes Moné will be Saraya's mystery partner. Baker called herself "The Boss" which is just so disrespectful and a clear violation of WWE trademarks.

Jungle Man cut a promo on Big Bill and Lee Moriarity and challenged them to a match against him and Hook. The Chadster doesn't care for those two because whenever they're on TV, The Chadster's wife is enthralled with AEW, which is like stabbing The Chadster right in the back.

Bryan Danielson took on Tony Nese. It didn't last long and served mostly to please Danielson's hometown crowd. MJF came out after the match to refuse to wrestle Bryan in front of the AEW fans, which The Chadster agrees with. MJF dropped some names of all-time wrestling stars like Disco Inferno and Jim Cornette. They traded insults about the promiscuity and/or bestiality inclinations of each other's mothers. And finally, they ended with a plan where Danielson must wrestle and win every week on AEW Dynamite for the next month, and if he does, he gets MJF in an Iron Match at Revolution in March. The Chadster is not happy with this plan at all. For one thing, it gives the fans more Bryan Danielson matches, which they don't deserve, and then it gives them an Iron Match at the end. So unfair!

Swerve Strickland faced AR Fox in a one-sided match where Swerve came out on top. That will show AR Fox for signing with AEW.

With Toni Storm and Hikaru Shida at her side, Saraya gav an interview to Renee Paquette where she offered Toni Storm the spot as her partner next week, calling Storm the best wrestler in the world. That seemed to offend Hikaru Shida, but not as much as it's sure to offend AEW fans who were hoping for it to be Sasha Banks. Then again, it could be a swerve and it could still end being the former Sasha Banks, but wouldn't it be great if the whole thing was a letdown and it's Toni Storm after all? That's what The Chadster is rooting for.

The Gunns held a funeral for FTR's career after beating them in their last match. FTR also lost the IWGP Tag Team titles at Wrestle Kingdom this week, and they lost the ROH Tag Team Titles. The Gunns took credit for all of it. FTR's music played, but it was a joke because they're still in Japan. The Chadster supports making fun of FTR because they literally stabbed WWE in the back when they signed with AEW. Unless they are going back to WWE next year, in which case The Chadster is totally on their side in this.

Jade Cargill and Red Velvet triumphed over Kiera Hogan and Skye Blue, though tensions between Cargill and Red Velvet continued to grow as Velvet nearly cost Cargill the match and left Cargill to finish it on her own. The Chadster can't stand how every segment on AEW Dynamite advances a storyline and helps AEW's characters to grow.

In an interview with Renee Paquette, Jeff Jarrett and Jay Lethal complained about the match outcome earlier. They'll face The Acclaimed in a rematch on Friday.The Chadster is already dreading that night, which will have two AEW shows instead of one: Rampage, and Battle of the Belts.

In the main event, Darby Allin challenged Samoa Joe for the TNT Championship. Allin opened the match by attacking Joe on the ramp and immediately hitting a Swanton Bomb onto a standing Joe, all before the bell rang. The match eventually got started, and it didn't slow down, with Allin and Joe's styles working well together to produce a violent and fast-paced matchup. In a surprise ending that required two Coffin Drops, Allin was victorious. Sting came out to celebrate with Allin and end the show. This ending really pleased the AEW fans, and so The Chadster was extremely cheesed off by it.

The Bottom Line

Once again, The Chadster was simply trying to enjoy his Wednesday night when along came AEW Dynamite to ruin everything. The Chadster had been sitting on the couch, his face contorted in rage, for what felt like hours but what was actually probably only about 10 minutes of the episode of Young Sheldon that came on after Dynamite.

He was still thinking about the latest episode of AEW Dynamite, and he was livid. Nothing about the show had pleased him, and all he could think about was Tony Khan and how unfair it all was. Keighleyanne had been in the other room, texting that guy Gary, and when she walked in, she could tell immediately that something was wrong. But before she could roll her eyes and walk away, The Chadster had already started in on his tirade about Tony Khan and AEW.

"That man is out to get The Chadster! The Chadster just knows it!" The Chadster shouted, pacing back and forth across the room. "He's always making these unfair moves and trying to one-up WWE. It's like he's trying to ruin The Chadster's life on purpose!"

Keighleyanne rolled her eyes. "Chad, you know that's not true," she said in a weary voice. "You're just so obsessed with WWE that you can't stand that there's any other wrestling company out there. And it's not like Tony Khan is actually targeting you. He's just trying to make a name for himself and make his own business successful."

The Chadster stopped in his tracks and glared at her. "That's not true," he said. "If Tony Khan wasn't out to get The Chadster, then why does everything he does cheese The Chadster off so much?!"

"It's because you make liking WWE your entire identity, Chad," Keighleyanne replied. "There's room for more than one wrestling company."

"How dare you!" The Chadster replied. "And why are you always texting that guy Gary instead of watching wrestling with me, anyway? It's like you're always more interested in him than you are in me and WWE."

Keighleyanne sighed and put her phone down. "Just because I'm texting someone else doesn't mean I'm not interested in you, Chad," she said. "I'm just trying to have my own life, too. Unlike you, I don't waste all my time obsessing over a wrestling company and making up conspiracy theories about its owner."

The Chadster felt like he'd been slapped in the face. He didn't know what to say, so he just stood there, his hands balled into fists at his side.

"You know what," Keighleyanne said, the anger in her voice rising. "Maybe it is true that Tony Khan has it out for you. Maybe he really does hate you and is trying to ruin your life. But you know what else is true? That you don't care about anyone but yourself. That you're so obsessed with WWE that you can't even see that the people who love you need your attention to. And that you're so wrapped up in your own ego that you can't see how much it hurts everyone else around you."

With that, Keighleyanne walked out of the room. The Chadster was left alone to ponder everything Tony Khan had done to him, and all the hurtful things Keighleyanne had said. He sat there, in a cold and dark living room, and stared at the TV screen, still lit up with images from AEW Dynamite. As he watched, he couldn't help but think of all the things that Tony Khan had taken from him. His energy. His joy. His marriage. As tears began to well up in his eyes, The Chadster knew that Tony Khan had won again.

And that's why The Chadster gives this week's episode of AEW Dynamite ZERO STARS, and that's the bottom line 'cause Chad said so.

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