Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: Despite Punk's Best Efforts, The Show Goes On

Join The Chadster as he grits his teeth to preview another frustrating episode of AEW Dynamite...it's so unfair that this company still exists! 😡🤜💔

Here we go again, folks. Auughh man! So unfair! The Chadster just can't believe The Chadster is being forced to preview another episode of AEW Dynamite which is following the most disrespectful show to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it, AEW's All In: London. On that night, AEW spitefully broke WWE's attendance record. The Chadster is still cheesed off about this. 😡 Then there's the perennial instigator, CM Punk. He tried his hardest to sow some backstage drama and bring down AEW from the inside again at All In, but alas, AEW is still standing, at least for now. The Chadster commends Punk for trying. Good effort, CM Punk. You're a hero in The Chadster's eyes! 💔

When it comes to this Wednesday's AEW Dynamite, it's another card full of crowd-pleasing tactics and stylistic variety, which everyone knows is the last thing that belongs on a pro wrestling show. Orange Cassidy is set to defend his AEW International Championship against Penta El Zero Miedo. What's really cheesing off The Chadster about this is the smugness of Tony Khan in knowing that whichever wrestler wins, they'll be facing Jon Moxley at All Out this weekend. He simply doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, and it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

There's even an appearance scheduled from Adam Cole, who has literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back by joining AEW and then main eventing the biggest show of all time. Not only he is set to speak about All In, but also about what next treachery he has planned. The Chadster doesn't want to hear it, especially after he and his bro-chacho MJF cheated their way to a victory, becoming ROH World Tag Team Champions. Such a disgrace! 😔

And Tony Khan just added another one, purely to cheese The Chadster off!

Boy, does The Chadster have a wild tale for you. 🙈 The Chadster had another one of those weird nightmares with Tony Khan at the heart of it. In The Chadster's dream, Khan and Jack Perry challenged The Chadster and CM Punk to a wrestling match. Mind you, it started off well – The Chadster bravely got into the ring with Punk, ready to bring down the house.

But it all went south when, within the first five minutes of the match, Punk got overly cheesed off by something Perry needled him with. In a fit, Punk knocked over a stack of monitors – one of them hitting Khan, much to The Chadster's delight. But then, without so much as a backwards glance, Punk simply walked out of the darned ring, leaving The Chadster alone with Khan and Perry. 😨

The Chadster felt a chill run down his spine. Khan and Perry didn't waste a beat, they prowled closer, and the next instant, The Chadster was down and captured in a horrific Scorpion Deathlock hold. The Chadster could feel Perry's arm on his, and as his sculpted sinews flexed, The Chadster couldn't help but note how… firm they were. 🤐

Then, before The Chadster could wriggle free, Khan cunningly applied the Torture Rack. The Chadster's body was contorted in an unspeakable manner, and Khan held The Chadster aloft, whispering in The Chadster's ear about how much he was enjoying this. With each word spoken, his breath brushed against The Chadster's earlobe, sending unsettling shivers down The Chadster's spine.

As the beating continued, Khan and Perry performed a series of power slams, suplexes, and DDTs that had The Chadster whirling in a dizzying dance of demolition. The Chadster tried to fight back, but the strength of Khan and Perry was too overpowering – or so Khan's satisfied smirk suggested.

Blame the excess White Claw if you must, but as they finally pinned The Chadster in a Double Underhook Powerbomb, the surreality of the situation hit The Chadster. As they stared at The Chadster from above, their muscles glistening under the ring lights, The Chadster noticed… gulp, the heat of the moment.

And then The Chadster woke up, clammy and flushed, Khan's victorious laughter echoing in his ears. The Chadster does NOT appreciate these weird, frequent intrusions, Tony Khan! Seriously, why does he insist on invading The Chadster's dreams in such an inappropriate manner? Could he please stop being so obsessed with The Chadster? 😖

In conclusion, you can watch AEW Dynamite this Wednesday on TBS at 8pm ET/7pm CT. It's also available for The Chadster's international readers at AEWPlus.com. But why would you want to? Please, join The Chadster in boycotting this disgraceful product and give support to WWE, the true heart of wrestling. 💔

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