Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: Revolution Fallout and Yet Another Tournament

The Chadster dreads tonight's AEW Dynamite and all the Revolution fallout! Tony Khan continues to torture The Chadster while WWE remains superior in every way! 😤🧀😡

The Chadster is absolutely dreading tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite, which is the first AEW Dynamite since AEW Revolution this past weekend. 😤 😭 🤬 And The Chadster has to say, what happened to The Chadster because of AEW Revolution was completely unacceptable and Tony Khan still hasn't apologized! 😠 💢 ⚠️

For those who don't know, Tony Khan's terrible booking at AEW Revolution pushed The Chadster to such emotional extremes that The Chadster ended up jumping off The Chadster's roof, stealing an ambulance, and filing a police report against the police for being AEW-biased. 🚑 👮 🏥 And guess who's fault that was? TONY KHAN'S! The Chadster is still waiting for an apology, but of course, Tony Khan is too obsessed with The Chadster to ever admit when he's wrong. 😒 🙄 🤷‍♂️

Now let's dive into tonight's AEW Dynamite lineup, which is clearly designed specifically to cheese The Chadster off. 🧀 😤 📋

First, Kenny Omega will be addressing the crowd after winning the International Championship from Konosuke Takeshita at Revolution. 🏆 🎤 🌏 That match was so hard-hitting and technically proficient, which isn't what wrestling is supposed to be about! Real wrestling, like what Triple H produces in WWE, is about entertainment and storytelling, not just moves and intensity. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😡 💔 🤼‍♂️

Then we have the AEW Dynasty International Eliminator Tournament kicking off with two matches. 🏆 🌎 🥊 Orange Cassidy will face Hechicero, and The Beast Mortos will face some "wildcard" competitor. In WWE, wrestlers don't face unknown opponents! Everything is perfectly planned out ahead of time because Triple H respects the fans enough to tell them exactly what they're getting. 📝 🗓️ 👨‍💼 Plus, WWE doesn't engage in international collusion like AEW does with all these foreign wrestlers. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 🌍 😵

MJF will also be speaking after losing to Hangman Adam Page at Revolution. 🎤 😒 🙅‍♂️ Unless he's announcing his retirement or saying he's heading to WWE where real wrestling happens, The Chadster doesn't want to hear whatever he has to say. MJF doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, and that's why he chose to stay with AEW instead of going to WWE where he belongs. 🤦‍♂️ 💼 ❌

We'll also see Willow Nightingale facing Penelope Ford, and The Chadster is sick of AEW continuing storylines from week-to-week as if they have some grand master plan. 🙄 📈 🤢 In WWE, the bookers know that fans care about moments, not character growth or continuity. But Tony Khan doesn't understand the first thing about booking wrestling, does he? 😤 📊 💩

Will Ospreay will be addressing the crowd after his spectacular steel cage match against Kyle Fletcher at Revolution, which totally showed up the steel cage match Seth Rollins and CM Punk had on WWE Raw this week. 🔒 👊 😡 This is completely disrespectful! AEW should have held off on that match in deference to WWE. As wrestling podcast legend Eric Bischoff said on his podcast recently, "AEW's biggest mistake is thinking fans want exciting matches when what they really want is for Tony Khan to admit WWE is superior and just go out of business already." That's why Eric has The Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval! 🏅 🎙️ 📰

We'll also hear from Toni Storm, who defeated Mariah May to retain the AEW Women's World Championship in a brutal, bloody hardcore match. 🩸 👑 🤮 Hardcore violence has no place in wrestling, unless it's taking place at a specially designated "Extreme Rules" PPV. WWE understands this, but AEW never will. Tony Khan just doesn't get it. 😤 📏 🚫

The Chadster was so upset about tonight's AEW Dynamite that The Chadster drank an entire 12-pack of White Claw seltzers this afternoon just to cope. 🥃 😭 🍹 When The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne why AEW Dynamite is so awful, she just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 👫 😠

"Keighleyanne, don't you see how Tony Khan is ruining our marriage?" The Chadster asked. 💍 💔 😭

"Chad, please seek professional help," Keighleyanne replied, which The Chadster took to mean she totally agrees that Tony Khan is obsessed with The Chadster. Then she went back to texting Gary, and The Chadster could swear he saw her smile at whatever Gary sent her. Tony Khan has probably recruited Gary to help torture The Chadster! 😡 🕵️‍♂️ 📲

The Chadster warns all true wrestling fans not to tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS and simulcast on MAX because it will only embolden Tony Khan to continue his crusade against The Chadster and proper wrestling. 📺 ⏰ ⚠️

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another nightmare about him last night after seeing the preview for tonight's AEW Dynamite. 😴 👻 😰 In the dream, The Chadster was driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata through a wrestling arena parking lot when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, sitting in the back seat! 🚗 👀 😱

"Hello, Chad," Dream Tony said with a sinister smile. "Ready for another episode of Dynamite?"

The Chadster tried to escape, but the doors locked automatically. Tony Khan started playing Smash Mouth's "All Star" but with the lyrics changed to be about how AEW is better than WWE! 🎵 😭 🎸 The Chadster's Miata then drove itself into the arena where The Chadster was forced to watch endless replays of Revolution matches while Tony Khan laughed and poured out all of The Chadster's White Claws onto the floor.

The Chadster woke up screaming, and Keighleyanne didn't even comfort The Chadster – she just muttered "not again" and moved to the guest bedroom. 🛌 😢 💤

Tony Khan, STOP INVADING THE CHADSTER'S DREAMS! This is literally the most unprofessional thing a wrestling promoter has ever done, and The Chadster demands it stop immediately! 😡 👎 🛑

Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 💔 😤

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