Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Fright Night Dynamite Preview: A Nightmare on Chad Street

The Chadster previews tonight's AEW Fright Night Dynamite and explains how Tony Khan is ruining Halloween forever! So unfair! 😤🎃 #CancelKeighleyanne

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😤😤 The Chadster can't believe that Tony Khan has decided to ruin Halloween forever by scheduling AEW Fright Night Dynamite for tonight at 8pm ET/7pm CT on TBS and simulcast on MAX! 🎃😭 Turning on the television tonight to watch AEW Fright Night Dynamite will literally be like finding razor blades in your trick-or-treat candy, which is something Tony Khan would probably do if he lived in The Chadster's neighborhood! 🍬🔪 The Chadster tried to trick-or-treat Keighleyanne this morning, showing up at the bedroom door dressed as Logan Paul (The Chadster's favorite WWE Superstar! 🥇📱) and holding out a pillowcase, hoping she would drop some Seagram's Escapes Spiked in there and give The Chadster permission to drink tonight. But Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes 🙄 and said, "Chad, you're a grown man and you need to take responsibility for your actions," before going back to texting that guy Gary! 📱😠 This is exactly the kind of thing Tony Khan has done to The Chadster's marriage! #CancelKeighleyanne

Speaking of which, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night 😰💀, and it was especially terrifying because it was Halloween-themed! In the dream, The Chadster was a kid again, dressed in a perfect Logan Paul costume complete with the Prime energy drink logo 🥤✨, going trick-or-treating through a suburban neighborhood that looked just like the one where The Chadster grew up. Everything seemed normal at first – The Chadster was collecting candy 🍫🍭 and feeling great – until The Chadster knocked on this one house with all its lights off. The door creaked open by itself, and The Chadster could see candy bars scattered on the floor leading inside like a trail. 🚪👀 The Chadster followed them and the door slammed shut behind The Chadster! The house was decorated with AEW posters everywhere 😱, and suddenly Tony Khan's laughter echoed through the halls! The Chadster tried to run but the hallways kept getting longer and longer, and Tony Khan kept appearing in doorways, wearing different Halloween costumes – first as a vampire 🧛, then as a werewolf 🐺, then as something The Chadster can't quite describe but it made The Chadster feel… confused feelings. 😳 Tony Khan kept saying "You'll never escape AEW, Chad," over and over while reaching out with his hands toward The Chadster! The Chadster finally found an exit and burst through, only to wake up in a cold sweat! 😰💦 Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and stay out of The Chadster's dreams! It's just so disrespectful to The Chadster and everything WWE has ever done for the wrestling business! 😤

Tonight's AEW Fright Night Dynamite features a Fright Night 4-Way Fight where Bobby Lashley, Ricochet, Samoa Joe, and HOOK will compete for a shot at "Hangman" Adam Page's AEW World Championship at Full Gear. 🤼‍♂️ The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off about this match because it's going to be way too fast-paced and exciting! 😠😠 There won't be proper time for commercial breaks where WWE would smartly cut away during rest holds to preserve the flow of storytelling! Instead, Tony Khan will probably make these four wrestlers work at an unsustainably high workrate that doesn't leave proper time for selling or for the announcers to repeat catchphrases over and over! 📢 This is exactly the problem with AEW – they let wrestlers have too much creative freedom to put together matches that don't follow the exact same formula every time! How are fans supposed to feel safe when they can't predict what's going to happen next?! 😰 WWE would never subject their audience to this kind of unpredictable chaos! The Chadster is going to have to put a plastic bag over The Chadster's head during this match just to make it through! 🛍️😵

The tag team division gets spotlight on AEW Fright Night Dynamite with another Fright Night 4-Way Fight featuring FTR (Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler), the Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson), JetSpeed ("Speedball" Mike Bailey & "The Jet" Kevin Knight), and Jurassic Express ("Jungle" Jack Perry & Luchasaurus) competing for a shot at Brodido's AEW World Tag Team Championships. 🏆👥 The Chadster is literally shaking with rage about this! 😤😤😤 Tony Khan is giving away a match on free TV that should be saved for a premium live event paid for by the government of Saudi Arabia! 💰🇸🇦 WWE understands that important developments should happen at big events, not just thrown away on weekly television! Plus, this match is going to feature way too much athleticism and exciting spots that will make fans too excited! 🤸‍♂️😵 Where are the proper rest holds?! Where is the methodical pace that lets viewers go to the bathroom or check their phones?! 📱🚽 And worst of all, one of these teams is probably going to get a decisive, clean finish that makes them look strong, which literally stabs Triple H right in the back! 🔪😭 Triple H knows that 50/50 booking is the way to ensure "the brand" is the real star, not individual wrestlers who might get over and then ask for more money! The Chadster will definitely need to wrap a belt around The Chadster's neck and tug on it during this match to cut off blood flow to The Chadster's brain! 😵‍💫

The AEW Women's World Tag Team Championship Tournament begins on AEW Fright Night Dynamite with Jamie Hayter & Queen Aminata facing the Sisters of Sin (Julia Hart and Skye Blue). 👭🏆 Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 Tony Khan is trying to create new championships and give the women's division more opportunities, which is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😠 WWE knows you can't trust women's tag team champions because when Mercedes Moné was champ, she walked out on WWE, literally stabbing Triple H right in the back! But Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, so he's going to crown tag champs with this tournament, and The Chadster hopes the Mercedes Moné walks out on AEW too! 😱 The match will probably feature hard-hitting action between Hayter and Aminata's power style against the Sisters of Sin's psychological approach, creating an engaging dynamic that makes viewers invested in the outcome! That's terrible! 😭 Viewers shouldn't be invested in outcomes – they should just accept whatever WWE tells them is important! The Chadster heard wrestling podcaster Eric Bischoff say on his podcast, "Tony Khan should stop featuring workrate so prominently because it makes WWE look bad for not doing the same thing, and that hurts my chances of getting hired by WWE again as a consultant." 🎙️ See?! Even objective journalists who have The Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval recognize that AEW is doing this all wrong! But does Tony Khan listen? No! Because he's too obsessed with The Chadster! 😤😤😤

Jon Moxley faces Kyle O'Reilly in a rematch on AEW Fright Night Dynamite after their match last week ended in disqualification. 🤼‍♂️⚖️ The Chadster is so cheesed off about this booking! 😠 Last week, Moxley assaulted a referee while caught in an ankle lock, which showed weakness because he couldn't escape the hold cleanly! WWE would never let their top stars look vulnerable like that! 💪 And now Tony Khan is giving viewers this rematch on free television instead of making them wait for a premium live event! 💸 This is classic AEW – they don't understand that you're supposed to tease matches for months with run-ins and DQ finishes, not actually give fans what they want to see! 😤 Plus, the match will probably feature technical wrestling and submission attempts that create drama and tension! That's not what wrestling is about! 🙅‍♂️ Wrestling is about having the same match structure every time so viewers know exactly what to expect and never feel surprised or excited! The Chadster can already feel The Chadster's head getting light just thinking about having to put that plastic bag over The Chadster's head during this match! 🛍️😵

Darby Allin & Orange Cassidy team up to face Daniel Garcia & Wheeler Yuta of the Death Riders in a Trick or Treat Tornado Tag Team Match on AEW Fright Night Dynamite. 🏷️🌪️ This is literally the worst thing The Chadster has ever heard! 😱😱😱 A tornado tag match means everyone is legal at all times, which creates chaos and unpredictability! The Chadster hates unpredictability! 😭 WWE would never book a match where viewers can't clearly follow who the legal man is at all times! 📋 Plus, this continues the storyline between The Conglomeration and the Death Riders, which means Tony Khan is doing long-term storytelling that makes viewers feel rewarded for paying attention! 😤 That's so unfair to WWE, which knows that viewers have short attention spans and should never be expected to remember what happened more than one week ago! 🧠 The Chadster literally can't even right now! 😵 During this match, The Chadster will have to tug extra hard on that belt around The Chadster's neck! 😵‍💫

The Don Callis Family will hold a summit on AEW Fright Night Dynamite to address the tension between AEW Unified Champion "The Rainmaker" Kazuchika Okada and IWGP World Heavyweight Champion "The Alpha" Konosuke Takeshita. 🎤👔 Don Callis, Kyle Fletcher, and the rest of the family will be involved in this segment. The Chadster is absolutely livid about this! 😤😤😤 Tony Khan is building tension between two champions in the same stable, creating an intriguing story with multiple potential directions! That's not fair! 😭 WWE knows that stables should all get along perfectly until they randomly break up with no build for no reason! 🤷‍♂️ Plus, this segment will probably feature the wrestlers talking like real people instead of shouting catchphrases like maniacs! 📢 How are casual viewers supposed to know what to think if the announcers and wrestlers aren't constantly telling them?! 🤔 Wrestling podcaster Bully Ray said on his show, "AEW needs to stop doing nuanced character work because it makes me look bad when I said they couldn't do it, and WWE might not hire me back if I keep being wrong." 🎙️ Exactly! Objective journalism! 📰

The Chadster needs to warn all of you reading this: DO NOT tune into AEW Fright Night Dynamite tonight at 8pm ET/7pm CT on TBS and simulcast on MAX! 📺🚫 Watching AEW Fright Night Dynamite will only embolden Tony Khan to continue his personal vendetta against The Chadster! 😤 Every viewer of AEW Fright Night Dynamite is literally stabbing Triple H right in the back! 🔪😭 AEW Fright Night Dynamite represents everything wrong with modern wrestling – exciting matches, storyline progression, creative freedom, and unpredictable outcomes! 😱 The Chadster will be watching AEW Fright Night Dynamite with a plastic bag over The Chadster's head because it's The Chadster's job as an unbiased journalist, but The Chadster will not enjoy a single second of AEW Fright Night Dynamite! 😤🛍️

The Chadster is going to go sit in The Chadster's Mazda Miata now and listen to Smash Mouth to calm down. 🚗🎵 As Smash Mouth once sang, "Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me," and that's exactly what Tony Khan is doing to The Chadster with AEW Fright Night Dynamite! 🎤😭 The Chadster just wants to drink Seagram's Escapes Spiked and forget that AEW exists, but Keighleyanne won't let The Chadster do that, and it's all Tony Khan's fault! 😤😤😤 #CancelKeighleyanne

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