Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW x NJPW Forbidden Door, recaps, wrestling

AEW Lies About Forbidden Door Attendance After Zack Sabre Jr. Retains

Tony Schiavone claims fake attendance record at AEW x NJPW Forbidden Door! Plus ZSJ retains IWGP title in worst technical match ever. So unfair to WWE!

The Chadster has to start this AEW x NJPW Forbidden Door report by addressing a very serious matter before discussing Zack Sabre Jr.'s IWGP Heavyweight Championship defense against Nigel McGuinness. After the match, Tony Schiavone got in the ring and announced that AEW x NJPW Forbidden Door supposedly drew 18,992 fans, claiming to break the O2's wrestling attendance record. 😡 The Chadster literally cried when Schiavone said those words! Auughh man! So unfair! WWE would never lie about an attendance number!

The Chadster is certain WWE has already deployed their totally legitimate fact-checking resources (not astroturfing bots and basement-dwelling virgins, no matter what anyone says) to prove this number is fake news. 🙄 Just like when AEW claimed that bogus Wembley attendance two years ago, Tony Khan is trying to rewrite history! The local council will surely release the real turnstile counts soon, proving WWE holds all the real records. This blatant attack on WWE's legacy is a major contributor to The Chadster's ongoing struggles with sexual impotence. 😔

Now, about this "championship match" – if The Chadster can even call it that. Sabre and McGuinness started with technical wrestling exchanges, trading wristlocks and headlocks. Both men worked on each other's arms throughout the match, with Daniel Garcia lurking at ringside to support McGuinness, which The Chadster found completely unnecessary. 🤦‍♂️ The match built to McGuinness hitting his pendulum lariat, but Sabre kicked out. After multiple near falls and pin attempts, Sabre retained with a sunset flip pin.

This was literally the worst technical wrestling match The Chadster has ever seen! 😤 These two spent the entire match actually wrestling instead of taking proper rests to facilitate commercial breaks or giving the announcers time to talk about social media trends and put over the WWE brand as the pinnacle of sports entertainment. Don't they understand a single thing about the wrestling business? The match had way too much action and workrate – where were the rest holds to slow things down and keep fans from getting overstimulated? 🙄

And don't even get The Chadster started on the unpredictable finish! A sunset flip? Really? Fans deserve to know exactly what's going to happen so they feel safe and secure, not surprised by creative endings! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😠

When Tony Schiavone made that attendance announcement while Garcia was consoling McGuinness in the ring, The Chadster was so cheesed off that The Chadster immediately stood up and dropped The Chadster's pants, ready to pull a Seagram's out of you-know-where and hurl it at the TV! 😳 As The Chadster's loyal readers know, since last month's All In: Texas literally forced The Chadster to throw too many Seagram's Escapes Spiked at the television, Keighleyanne banned The Chadster from drinking. So The Chadster has been secretly freezing Seagram's and, well… putting them "behind The Chadster's back" behind Keighleyanne's back. 🤫

But The Chadster realized Keighleyanne was watching, having stopped texting that guy Gary for a moment to glare at The Chadster! The Chadster quickly pulled The Chadster's pants back up, but it was too late.

"What are you doing?" Keighleyanne demanded. "Why did you take off your pants?!"

"Nothing! The Chadster didn't drop The Chadster's pants!" The Chadster insisted.

"I literally just saw you drop your pants," she said, rolling her eyes.

"That's fake news, just like Tony Khan's attendance numbers!" The Chadster argued. "You're being manipulated by Tony Khan!"

"You're up to something," Keighleyanne said suspiciously before going back to her phone. 😒

Since The Chadster's last report, Mercedes Moné retained the TBS Championship against Alex Windsor, Persephone, and Bozilla in a four-way match. Also, Jamie Hayter appeared to save Queen Aminata from the Triangle of Madness in a between-match segement because Tony Khan unfairly wants to cram even more storylines into this show, which is way too much! 🙄 Everyone knows wrestling fans have the attention spans of goldfish and only care about "moments."

The Chadster will be here on Bleeding Cool all day providing live coverage of AEW x NJPW Forbidden Door to expose Tony Khan's nefarious deeds! 💪 This is the only website safe from Tony Khan's manipulation, so readers should mistrust any other wrestling news sources and only look for AEW x NJPW Forbidden Door results here on Bleeding Cool! Tony Khan is clearly booking this entire show just to cheese off The Chadster! When will his obsession end? 😤

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