Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage: A Scorching Hot Take on Last Night's Disastrous Show

You won't believe your eyes after reading The Chadster's scathing review of last night's 🔥 dumpster fire of an episode of AEW Rampage. The Chadster is just so cheesed off! 😡

🚨 Auughh man! So unfair! 🤬 The Chadster just finished watching last night's episode of AEW Rampage, and let The Chadster tell you, it was quite possibly the worst episode of televised "wrestling" The Chadster has ever seen. 😱 If you value your sanity, do yourself a favor and tune into WWE Raw on Monday at 8/7C to cleanse your mind of this drivel. 📺

First up, we had Dustin Rhodes vs. The Butcher. 🥩 These two have been feuding for who knows how long, and for what reason, The Chadster can't even begin to guess. Dustin hit a Code Red for a near fall and later won with the Final Reckoning, but the match was a convoluted mess. 🙄 Nothing can touch the storytelling genius of WWE, that's for sure!

Next, Deonna Purrazzo squashed some jobber named Rose. 🌹 Deonna won with ease, barely breaking a sweat. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it to book such an obvious mismatch. 😤 The Chadster bets Deonna would be smoked by Charlotte Flair in seconds flat!

Then we had Mariah May with Toni Storm and Luther in her corner facing Nikita. 👎 Mariah won, because of course she did, with Tony Khan's pet project Storm cheering her on. The Chadster is so sick of Tony pushing his favorites as if they could compare to true WWE legends like Bianca Belair. It's a slap in the face to the entire WWE women's division! 😡

In the main event, Roderick Strong defended his International Title against Matt Menard. 🤼‍♂️ The match was a travesty, with constant interference from Taven and Bennett. Menard had the match won until the distractions allowed Roddy to steal it. After the match, Taven and Bennett beat down Menard until Orange Cassidy and Trent made the save, only to be ambushed by the Young Bucks. 😫 This is what passes for compelling television in AEW. The Chadster doesn't know whether to laugh or cry! 😂😢

But if you think Rampage was bad, wait until you see the advertised Collision card for tonight. 🙈 It threatens to cheese off The Chadster even more! We've got more of Tony Khan's tag team tournament nobody asked for, with Starks and Big Bill facing Top Flight, and FTR taking on The Infantry. 🙄 Kyle O'Reilly is in action in a match that will undoubtedly put The Chadster to sleep. 😴 There's a pointless six-man with Danielson, Castagnoli, and Shibata taking on The Righteous and Lance Archer. And in the main event, Adam Copeland is doing an open challenge for his TNT Title. The Chadster is sure Tony Khan will have one of his ex-WWE guys answer it just to stick it to The Chadster. 😠 They've all literally stabbed Triple H in the back and don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business!

The Chadster is so cheesed off after watching AEW Rampage, he threw his White Claw seltzer at the TV again! 🍺📺 Now there's a mess for The Chadster's wife Keighleyanne to clean up, but she just doesn't get it. She's too busy texting that guy Gary. 📱 This is what Tony Khan has done to The Chadster's life! 😫 The Chadster bets Tony is in his house right now, invisibly laughing at The Chadster's misfortune, all because The Chadster is one of the only unbiased journalists left in wrestling. 🗞️ The Chadster, Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger may be the last bastion of truth in this business. 😤

So there you have it, folks. AEW Rampage was a complete dumpster fire, as usual. 🔥🗑️ Take The Chadster's advice and give it a miss. And for the love of all that is holy, don't tune into Collision tonight! 🙏 It'll only encourage Tony Khan's madness. Maybe if we all ignore him, he'll finally stop booking these atrocities and leave the wrestling business to the professionals in WWE. 😌 Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play! 🎶 And that's the bottom line, because The Chadster said so! 😎

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