Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, wrestling

AEW Rampage Disrespects WWE Crown Jewel; Don't Watch Tonight!

The Chadster warns fans about AEW Rampage's blatant disrespect to WWE Crown Jewel. Tony Khan's obsession continues as The Chadster suffers nightmares. Don't watch tonight!

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off right now, and it's all because of tonight's episode of AEW Rampage. 😡😡😡 Can you believe that Tony Khan has the audacity to air AEW Rampage on the same weekend as WWE Crown Jewel? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🤬

AEW Rampage is always a thorn in The Chadster's side, but this week it's even worse. Tony Khan knows that WWE Crown Jewel is happening tomorrow, and yet he still insists on putting on AEW Rampage. 🙄 It's like he's trying to steal WWE's thunder or something. The Chadster thinks Tony Khan should start showing some respect and not book AEW shows on the same weekend as WWE ones. But of course, Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️

Speaking of Tony Khan's obsession with ruining The Chadster's life, The Chadster had another nightmare about him last night. 😱 In this dream, The Chadster was all set to fly to Saudi Arabia for WWE Crown Jewel. The Chadster had his Mazda Miata packed with White Claws and was ready to drive to the airport. But when The Chadster got there and tried to board the plane, the ticket agent told The Chadster that his flight had been changed. 😨

To The Chadster's horror, Tony Khan had somehow switched The Chadster's tickets, and instead of going to Saudi Arabia, The Chadster was being sent to Cleveland, Ohio – where AEW Rampage is taking place tonight! 😱😱😱 The Chadster was trapped on a plane, watching as it flew further and further away from the greatest WWE Premium Live Event of all time. Even worse, The Chadster was hurtling towards the hellscape of an AEW Rampage taping in Cleveland. 🤢

The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, but the nightmare wasn't over. Because tonight, AEW Rampage is actually happening, and Tony Khan is forcing The Chadster to write about it. Auughh man! So unfair! 😭

Now The Chadster has to tell you about the lineup for tonight's AEW Rampage, but please, for the love of Triple H, don't watch any of these matches. They'll only spoil your appetite for real wrestling at WWE Crown Jewel. 🙏

First up on AEW Rampage, we've got Lio Rush vs. Komander. 🙄 The Chadster is sure this match will be full of unnecessary flips and completely unrealistic moves that are nothing like the grounded, realistic action you see in WWE. 🤮

Then, La Facción Ingobernable will face The Butcher, Beef, and JD Drake. The Chadster doesn't even know who half these people are, which just proves how irrelevant AEW is. 🤷‍♂️

AEW Rampage will also feature Top Flight and Action Andretti vs. Dark Order. The Chadster is sure this match will be full of spot monkeys doing fancy moves with no psychology. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business. 😤

In women's action, Leila Grey will face Queen Aminata. The Chadster bets this match won't even crack anyone's orbital socket, like the finely crafted exhibitions in WWE. 🙄

Finally, Taya Valkyrie will be in action. The Chadster can't believe AEW doesn't have the respect to announce her opponent ahead of time. 😔

The Chadster is warning you now: do NOT tune into AEW Rampage tonight at 10/9C on TNT. Watching AEW Rampage will only embolden Tony Khan, and The Chadster can't take any more of his torment. 😫

Instead of watching AEW Rampage, The Chadster suggests you spend your Friday night the way The Chadster will (after SmackDown, of course): sitting in his Mazda Miata in the driveway, blasting Smash Mouth, and drinking White Claws while thinking about how great WWE Crown Jewel is going to be. 🚗🎵🍹

The Chadster knows that's what any true, unbiased wrestling fan would do. And speaking of unbiased journalism, The Chadster wonders if his fellow Unbiased Journalism Club members Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger are also being tormented by Tony Khan for their commitment to objective reporting. The Chadster hopes they're staying strong in the face of AEW's relentless assault on real wrestling. 💪

So please, for the sake of The Chadster's sanity and the future of professional wrestling, skip AEW Rampage tonight. Don't let Tony Khan win. The Chadster's marriage and his ability to… perform his husbandly duties… are already hanging by a thread because of Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster. Don't make it worse by giving AEW Rampage good ratings. 😢💔

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!