Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, wrestling

AEW Rampage Final Episode Preview: Saving The Worst for Last

The Chadster bravely previews the final AEW Rampage, exposing Tony Khan's latest scheme to cheese him off. Plus, a truly haunting Tony Khan nightmare! 😱🥤

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😤😤 The Chadster can't believe he has to write about the final episode of AEW Rampage tonight. You'd think The Chadster would be happy that AEW Rampage is going away, but Tony Khan has found a way to cheese The Chadster off even more! 😡

Tonight's AEW Rampage marks the end of an era, but not in a good way. Sure, there will be one less hour of AEW programming per week, which should be cause for celebration. But leave it to Tony Khan to turn even this into a way to literally stab Triple H right in the back! 🔪🔪🔪

You see, with the cancellation of AEW Rampage, Tony Khan has somehow managed to secure an even bigger TV deal for less programming! This means that AEW Dynamite and AEW Collision are now considered even more valuable by the network! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😭

What's even worse is that with one fewer show to book, Tony Khan will have even more time and energy to focus on ways to cheese off The Chadster. It's like he's not even trying to hide his obsession anymore! 🙄

But let's talk about tonight's final AEW Rampage, even though it pains The Chadster to do so. 💔 The main event features ROH World Champion Chris Jericho taking on Anthony Bowens. The Chadster can't believe Chris Jericho is still associating himself with this company. He's literally stabbing Triple H right in the back every time he steps into an AEW ring! 🗡️

Then we have Nick Wayne facing Hook. The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW insists on pushing these young, inexperienced wrestlers. It's like they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. In WWE, wrestlers have to pay their dues the right way for years before getting TV time. That's how it should be! 👴

Thunder Rosa will be taking on Leila Grey. The Chadster is sure this match will be full of unrealistic moves and dangerous spots that completely disregard the way WWE has carefully crafted wrestling over the years. It's just so disrespectful! 😤

Finally, AEW World Tag Team Champions Private Party will be in action. The Chadster doesn't even want to think about how they'll probably do a bunch of flips and dives instead of telling a proper story in the ring like WWE tag teams do. 🤦‍♂️

The Chadster feels obligated to warn viewers not to tune into AEW Rampage tonight at 10/9C on TNT. Watching this show will only embolden Tony Khan and his crusade against The Chadster! 🚫📺

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another terrible nightmare about him last night. It was clearly inspired by the cancellation of AEW Rampage and Tony Khan's big TV deal. 😰

In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through a desolate landscape filled with crumbling wrestling rings. Suddenly, Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, riding a giant stack of money like it was a horse! He was laughing maniacally and shouting, "Chad! I'm coming for you with my new TV deal money!"

The Chadster tried to escape, but the Miata's engine turned into a White Claw can and started spraying seltzer everywhere. Tony Khan caught up and started pelting the soaking wet Chadster with canceled AEW Rampage DVDs while singing Smash Mouth's "All Star" but with lyrics about ruining The Chadster's life!

The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, his White Claw spilled all over the bed. Keighleyanne just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. 😢

Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams! It's bad enough that he's ruining wrestling, but now he's ruining The Chadster's sleep too! When will the torment end? 😭😭😭

As wrestling podcast legend Eric Bischoff said on a recent episode of his 83 Weeks Podcast, "AEW is like a nightmare that won't end, and Tony Khan is the boogeyman under every real wrestling fan's bed." Eric Bischoff has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval, so you know it must be true! 💯

In conclusion, The Chadster hopes you'll join him in not watching the final AEW Rampage tonight. Let's send Tony Khan a message that we won't stand for his obsession with cheesing off The Chadster anymore! 🙅‍♂️🚫🧀

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