Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling
AEW Rampage: Holiday Bash Ruins The Chadster's Christmas Spirit
The Chadster unwraps AEW Rampage: Holiday Bash, a lump of coal in wrestling's stocking. Tony Khan's obsession strikes again, ruining Christmas! 😤🎅🏼🎁
Article Summary
- Tony Khan ruined The Chadster's Christmas spirit with AEW Rampage: Holiday Bash.
- AEW's matches disrespect WWE and focus on athleticism, forgetting sports entertainment.
- The Chadster's nightmare features Tony Khan stealing WWE merchandise as a Grinch.
- Keighleyanne doesn't take The Chadster's AEW struggles seriously, texting Gary instead.
The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off about having to watch AEW Rampage: Holiday Bash last night. 😡 It's like Tony Khan decided to stuff The Chadster's stocking with a lump of coal, except the coal is actually just more of his disrespectful wrestling product. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤
Don Callis and Kyle Fletcher started the show with a promo that was just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🎄 Don Callis was going on about being a one-percenter, but The Chadster thinks the only percent that matters is the 100% chance that this promo cheesed off true wrestling fans. 🧀
Then we had a tag team match with Konosuke Takeshita and Brian Cage facing Powerhouse Hobbs and Mark Davis. 🎅 The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW insists on having matches with actual wrestling moves and athleticism. It's like they're trying to show off or something. Takeshita won with his Raging Fire move, but The Chadster's real raging fire was his burning desire for this match to end. 🔥
Next up was Lio Rush and Action Andretti against some jobbers. 🦌 The match was shorter than Santa's visit to naughty Tony Khan's house on Christmas Eve, which is the only good thing The Chadster can say about it. Afterwards, there was some drama with the tag team champions, but The Chadster was too busy trying to forget what he just watched to care. 🙈
Willow Nightingale faced Harley Cameron in a match that was about as exciting as getting socks for Christmas. 🧦 Willow won with her Babe with the Powerbomb, which sounds like a move Tony Khan came up with while spiking his eggnog. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🥚
The main event was Brody King vs Komander in a Continental Classic match. 🌟 The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW insists on having these tournament-style matches. It's like they're trying to make wrestling feel like a legitimate sport or something, when everybody knows it's supposed to be sports entertainment. Brody won, but The Chadster feels like he lost just by watching it. 😔
The Chadster has to say, this episode of AEW Rampage: Holiday Bash was about as welcome as fruitcake at a Christmas party. 🍰 Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. It's like he's purposely trying to ruin The Chadster's holiday season. 🎄
Speaking of which, The Chadster had another Tony Khan-induced nightmare last night. 😱 In this festive horror show, The Chadster was Santa Claus, trying to deliver presents to all the good little WWE fans. But every time The Chadster went down a chimney, Tony Khan was there, wearing a Grinch costume and stealing all the WWE merchandise to replace it with AEW toys. 🎁 The Chadster tried to stop him, but Tony just laughed and said, "You'll never catch me, Chadster Claus!" Then he made The Chadster's reindeer sign contracts with AEW, leaving The Chadster stranded on a rooftop. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, realizing that Tony Khan has now even invaded The Chadster's Christmas dreams. Will his obsession with The Chadster ever end? 😰
The Chadster tried to tell Keighleyanne about this nightmare, but she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 The Chadster is pretty sure she was agreeing with The Chadster about how Tony Khan is ruining everything, including Christmas. 🎅
To cope with the stress of watching AEW Rampage: Holiday Bash, The Chadster had to drink a whole six-pack of White Claw Winter Chill. ❄️ The Chadster was going to use them to spike the eggnog at the neighborhood Christmas party, but watching AEW drove The Chadster to drink them all. Tony Khan owes The Chadster a new six-pack! 🍺
In conclusion, AEW Rampage: Holiday Bash was like getting a stocking full of coal. 🎁 The Chadster can only hope that Santa brings Tony Khan some common sense for Christmas, so he can start booking wrestling the right way – the WWE way. Until then, The Chadster will be dreaming of a White Claw Christmas and hoping for a New Year free from AEW's influence. 🎄🥂