Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage: How Tony Khan Tried to Ruin WWE Elimination Chamber

Discover how Tony Khan's schemes with AEW Rampage aimed to sabotage WWE fans before Elimination Chamber. The Chadster's got the scoop! 🤼✨

Auughh man! So unfair! The Chadster can't help but feel like Tony Khan is on a personal crusade to ruin everything The Chadster loves about wrestling. It's utterly apparent with the latest stunt TK pulled, airing AEW Rampage at 10 PM last night! 🙄👎 Clearly, this is a diabolical ploy to sap the energy from true wrestling fans who needed rest for WWE's Elimination Chamber PLE in Australia. Tony Khan is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

The Chadster was forced to watch AEW Rampage by his boss, Ray Flook, who is clearly on tony Khan's payroll, and here comes The Chadster's recap for all the true wrestling fans who, rightfully, prioritized sleep in preparation for the WWE event. 😴🤼

First, the audacity during the 3-Way Trios Match was downright egregious. Action Andretti & Top Flight faced Bryan Keith, Komander, & Penta El Zero Miedo, along with Matt Sydal & Private Party. It was like watching a high-flying circus act, not a wrestling match. And you just know Penta El Zero Miedo was showing off just to cheese off WWE devotees like The Chadster as he and his team picked up the victory. Just so unfair!

Just when The Chadster thought it couldn't get worse, Renee Paquette interviewed Saraya and Harley Cameron. Saraya announced her brother, Zodiac Zack Knight, was joining AEW. The Chadster bets Triple H felt that backstab from halfway across the globe! 👀💔

The Young Bucks then faced some indie jabronis, Jonny Lyons & Cappuccino Jones, in what was essentially a squash match. But then, The Young Bucks decided to rename their finisher to the "Tony Khan Driver"? It's a thinly veiled attempt to taunt The Chadster! Ugh, Tony Khan obviously doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

Next, Tony Schiavone had the guts to interview Sammy Guevara in the ring, and it was just… Well, it was exactly what you'd expect from AEW. Empty bravado, and a lot of yapping with Powerhouse Hobbs and Don Callis getting involved 🙄.

Skye Blue's backstage segment was all sass and no substance, which is typical for AEW. Julia Hart's chilling words were another attempt to emulate the dark and twisted storylines WWE does so much better.

The matchup between Mariah May and Anna Jay was the embodiment of what The Chadster constantly asserts about AEW – it just doesn't measure up to the majestic heights of WWE superiority. As Mariah May secured her victory with the May Day, The Chadster couldn't help but groan at the display of subpar ring action that fails to honor the grand tradition of sports entertainment the way WWE does.

Can you believe Ruby Soho and Angelo Parker had the nerve to tease a romantic pairing just to get under Saraya's skin? That smacks of soap opera shenanigans, not the sanctity of the squared circle! 🤮

And in the main event, Roderick Strong defended against Jake Hager. Despite the typical AEW chaos with Orange Cassidy and mascots ringside, Strong secured the win. The Chadster has seen enough of these brawls to last a lifetime. 🤦‍♂️

Now, The Chadster has something personal to share – The Chadster was dead tired waking up for Elimination Chamber this morning, and who does The Chadster have to thank for that? You got it, Tony Khan. 🛌👿 Your schemes have extended beyond the Chadster's nightmares and straight into messing with The Chadster's entire sleep schedule! And just for the record, The Chadster only had such a terrible time waking up because Mr. Miata, The Chadster's trusty Mazda, needed to be ready to drive The Chadster to the grocery store to buy some White Claw for the early morning event, blasting Smash Mouth's "All Star" to get the right vibes going after such a sleep-deprived night. 🚗 🎶✨

The Chadster wants to keep this short and sweet, but geez, it's abundantly clear that Tony Khan is going to new extremes to personally target The Chadster and every true WWE fan out there. The Chadster expects Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger are nodding in agreement right now, feeling the torment from TK for their commitment to objective journalism. Stay strong, brothers-in-arms. We won't let Tony Khan get the best of us, no matter how many sleep cycles he disrupts! 😤🙌

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