Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, wrestling

AEW Rampage Preview: 5 Reasons Not to Watch Tonight's Show

The Chadster reluctantly previews AEW Rampage, exposing Tony Khan's latest attempts to cheese him off. Tune out and save your Friday night! Auughh man! So unfair! 😤🚫

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 The Chadster can't believe he has to preview another episode of AEW Rampage tonight. It's like Tony Khan is purposely trying to ruin The Chadster's weekend before it even starts. 😫 But as everyone knows, The Chadster is world-renowned for his commitment to objective wrestling journalism, so he's going to tell you about all the awful things that will happen on this show anyway.

First up, we've got Ricochet vs. Dante Martin in the main event. 🤼‍♂️ The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off about this. After everything WWE did to make Ricochet into the high-flying superstar he is today, he has the audacity to use all that training and experience to elevate young AEW talent like Dante Martin? 😡 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

The Chadster's good friend and objective wrestling journalist Eric Bischoff had this to say about the situation recently on his 83 Weeks podcast: "Ricochet is making a huge mistake. He should be jobbing to up-and-comers in NXT 2.0, not main eventing on TNT. It's a travesty, and Tony Khan should be ashamed. On an unrelated note, I just want to let WWE know that I'm not busy next year if you're looking for a new Raw or Smackdown GM." 📢 See? Even Eric Bischoff agrees that this match is a slap in the face to WWE.

Next, we have Mark Briscoe vs. Ariya Daivari. 🙄 The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan thinks people want to see a guy like Mark Briscoe who has never even been in NXT. Instead of focusing on former WWE stars who paid their dues the right way (even if some of them, like Ricochet, later literally stabbed Triple H right in the back), Tony Khan is pushing wrestlers who don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😤

Bully Ray, another unbiased voice in wrestling journalism, discussed Briscoe recently on Busted Open Radio: "Mark who? If he hasn't been through the WWE system, he's not a real wrestler. Tony Khan is killing the business by showcasing these indie nobodies. Switching gears, I'm available to appear on NXT again if WWE needs me. Call me, Hunter. Please." 🎙️ The Chadster couldn't agree more with Bully Ray's astute analysis.

In the women's division, we've got Leila Grey vs. Hikaru Shida. 👩‍🤼 It's utterly criminal that Hikaru Shida continues to debase herself by wrestling in AEW when, with her talent, she could easily have a lower midcard spot in the women's tag division in WWE. The Chadster just doesn't understand why she would choose to be a featured performer in AEW instead of potentially being in catering at WWE live events. 🤦‍♂️

The esteemed Mark Henry shared his thoughts on Shida's situation on Busted Open Radio last week: "Shida is wasting her prime years in AEW. She should be losing to Nia Jax in 2-minute matches on Main Event. That's real wrestling. Just like my son is going to do when WWE signs him to a fat contract." 💯 Mark Henry gets it, unlike Tony Khan.

Then there's Rocky Romero vs. Komander. 🌎 Why does Tony Khan think people want to see international stars compete on AEW Rampage? Have either of these wrestlers even paid their dues the WWE way? The Chadster doubts it. This match is just another example of how AEW doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

Ariel Helwani, a beacon of unbiased wrestling journalism if there ever was one, recently said on his podcast: "International wrestlers should stay in their home countries until WWE decides to bring them in for a one-off appearance. AEW showcasing global talent is a direct insult to Triple H's vision, which is something I'd like to discuss with Triple H in a 2-hour-long softball interview if he's not busy." 🎤 The Chadster couldn't have said it better himself.

Finally, we have La Faccion Ingobernable in action. 🤨 Tony Khan is so lazy he doesn't even say what they'll be in action doing. That's why WWE has a team of highly qualified writers to script every single moment. This lack of information is just another way Tony Khan is trying to cheese off The Chadster.

Kevin Nash, who knows a thing or two about laziness, weighed in on this sort of thing on his podcast recently: "Back in my day, we knew exactly what was going to happen in every segment. This 'surprise' factor in AEW is ruining wrestling. Tony Khan needs to hire 30 writers and let them argue for 12 hours about every minute of TV time. Speaking of which, Hunter, what's up with Shawn getting a job booking NXT and your pal Big Kev sitting at home doing nothing? Call me." 📝 The Chadster wholeheartedly agrees with Kevin Nash's wisdom.

The Chadster encourages all true wrestling fans to tune out and not watch AEW Rampage tonight on TNT at 10/9C. 📺❌ Instead, why not rewatch some classic WWE programming on Peacock? Or better yet, go for a drive in your Mazda Miata while blasting Smash Mouth and sipping on a refreshing White Claw seltzer. That's what The Chadster will be doing to avoid Tony Khan's latest attempt to ruin his life. 🚗🎵🍹

Speaking of which, The Chadster had another Tony Khan-related incident just yesterday. 😰 The Chadster was at the grocery store, picking up some White Claws, when he saw Tony Khan's reflection in the freezer door. But when The Chadster turned around, Khan was gone! Then, as The Chadster was checking out, he felt a splash of liquid on his back. When he spun around, he saw Tony Khan holding an empty can of White Claw, grinning mischievously before disappearing into thin air. 👻

The Chadster tried to explain this to Keighleyanne when he got home, but she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 Auughh man! Tony Khan has even found a way to make The Chadster's wife ignore him. So unfair! 😭

In conclusion, true wrestling fans should avoid AEW Rampage at all costs. Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, and watching his show only encourages his obsession with The Chadster. 🚫🤼‍♂️

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