Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, wrestling

AEW Rampage Preview: Tony Khan Hits The Chadster Where it Hurts

Join The Chadster for a no-holds-barred take on the upcoming AEW Rampage mayhem. Plus: Tony Khan strikes again and it's a snowy travesty! 🚙❄️🤼‍♂️

What's up, true wrestling fans! It's the one and only, The Chadster, back again to dish out the cold, hard facts of the wrestling world, and let The Chadster tell you, it's as frosty as the icy tundra around The Chadster's cherished Mazda Miata. But before diving into the treacherous waters of AEW Rampage, The Chadster has got a bone-chilling tale to share that'll make your very soul shiver. ❄️😱

This very morning, The Chadster woke up with the admirable mission of protecting the immaculate state of The Chadster's Japanese steel steed – that's the Miata, for those not in the know – ensuring every snowflake was cleared from its surrounding pavement. ❄️🚙 But as The Chadster painstakingly shoveled away, meticulously ensuring not a single flake blemished the vicinity of the Miata, The Chadster beheld a sight that could freeze hell over. Right there, in the golden hue of the morning light, the vile symbol of AEW was desecrated into the snow behind The Chadster's car… written in urine. 😤💔

Instantly, the cogs in The Chadster's head – always attuned to the malevolent machinations of one Tony Khan – turned with furious speed. Who else would commit such an atrocity but Tony Khan himself?! But lo and behold, as The Chadster checked the doorbell camera for evidence of this heinous act, there was nothing. Zilch. Nada. The fiend must've hacked The Chadster's security system, erasing any trace of his urinary vandalism. Tony Khan, listen up! 📢 You can invade The Chadster's dreams, you can try to sabotage The Chadster's marriage with Keighleyanne, but you've crossed a sacred line by meddling with The Chadster's Miata! This is too much, Tony. Way too much. 🛑✋

Now, let's get onto the madness that is AEW Rampage. Starting off, we have that matchup between Chris Jericho and Matt Sydal. Now, honestly, it's just… well, it's just sad! 😢 The Chadster remembers the time when Jericho was the undisputed champ in WWE, and now Tony Khan has him scrambling for whatever smidgen of legacy he can cling to in AEW.

Moving along to Darby Allin going at it with Jeff Hardy again… Yup, again! As if once wasn't enough, Tony Khan has to recycle things more than The Chadster's local waste management. Is there no end to this? Clearly, Khan's trying to one-up the storied history of WWE's legendary rematches and, frankly, it just doesn't compare. 🚫

And then, there's the bout between Kris Statlander and Queen Aminata. 🤼‍♀️ A decent fight, maybe, but it's another evident ploy by Tony Khan to pretend like he's got the best women's division. The Chadster begs to differ – WWE set that stage long before AEW decided to play catch-up. 🏃‍♀️💨

Finally, Penta El Zero Miedo vs. Anthony Henry. Might as well be a dart thrown at a board of wrestlers. The Chadster is sure this one-on-one is as much of a random throw-together as the last empty White Claw can in the recycling bin. 🎯🍺

In conclusion, loyal followers of true wrestling excellence, this is The Chadster advising you to perhaps spend your Friday night doing… well, literally anything other than subjecting yourself to AEW Rampage. It airs at 10pm ET/9pm CT on TNT, but The Chadster bets you'd have a better time dancing to Smash Mouth's "All Star" on loop than watching this. 🎶🚫

That's all from The Chadster for now. Until next time, keep your driveways clean, your Miatas shinier, and your wrestling real – WWE real. The Chadster out! ✌️🎙️

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