Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, wrestling

AEW Rampage Preview: Winter Continues to Come Tonight

The Chadster reluctantly previews AEW Rampage, warning viewers not to watch. Plus, Tony Khan invades dreams again! 😱 Will the torment ever end? 💔🥊

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off to have to preview tonight's episode of AEW Rampage. 😡 Auughh man! So unfair! Tony Khan just keeps booking shows week after week, and The Chadster has to keep writing about them. It's like Tony Khan is purposely trying to ruin The Chadster's life! 😤

AEW Rampage is set to air tonight at 10/9C on TNT, and The Chadster can already feel his blood pressure rising just thinking about it. 🩺 The show is going to feature a bunch of matches that are clearly designed to cheese off The Chadster and disrespect the wrestling business. 🧀

First up, we've got Toni Storm returning to AEW competition. 🌪️ The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is bringing back Toni Storm after she supposedly retired. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. WWE would never let a retired wrestler compete. She'll be facing Harley Cameron, who The Chadster doesn't even know because Tony Khan keeps hiring all these indie wrestlers who don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business instead of sticking with tried and true former WWE talent who have paid their dues correctly. 🤷‍♂️

Next, we've got a tag team match with The Don Callis Family (Konosuke Takeshita and Lance Archer) taking on Powerhouse Hobbs and Mark Davis. 👨‍👨‍👦 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is putting together these random tag teams. It's like he doesn't even care about tag team wrestling! WWE would never do something so disrespectful to the sport. 🏆

Then there's Matt Cardona vs. Bryan Keith. 🥊 The Chadster is so upset that Matt Cardona, who used to be Zack Ryder in WWE, is now appearing in AEW. He literally stabbed Triple H right in the back! And Bryan Keith? The Chadster know that this is all to promote Ryder vs. Chris Jericho, two former WWE talents, competing for an ROH belt, which is just so dang unfair! 😤

Deonna Purrazzo is also set to be in action tonight on AEW Rampage. 💪 The Chadster still can't believe Deonna would betray WWE like this. She literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by signing with AEW. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😢

The Chadster is warning all the readers out there: DO NOT tune into AEW Rampage tonight at 10/9C on TNT! 🚫📺 If you do, you'll only be encouraging Tony Khan's obsession with ruining The Chadster's life. It's bad enough that Tony Khan is invading The Chadster's dreams! 😴

Speaking of which, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night, and it was definitely inspired by this AEW Rampage preview. 😰 In the dream, The Chadster was trying to enjoy a nice, refreshing White Claw seltzer in his Mazda Miata, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the passenger seat! 😱

Tony was wearing one of those ridiculous AEW t-shirts and he kept trying to get The Chadster to watch AEW Rampage on his phone. The Chadster tried to escape, but every time he opened the car door, he found himself in a different AEW arena! 🏟️ Tony Khan chased The Chadster through Daily's Place, the United Center, and even Arthur Ashe Stadium, all while yelling things like "Watch Rampage, Chad!" and "AEW is the future of wrestling!" 📢

The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, his White Claw spilled all over the bed. 💦 Keighleyanne just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary, completely unsympathetic to The Chadster's plight. The Chadster tried to explain how Tony Khan was ruining their marriage, but she just rolled her eyes. 🙄

Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster! 😠 It's bad enough that he books AEW Rampage every week, but now he's invading The Chadster's dreams too? The Chadster demands that Tony Khan stay out of his subconscious! 🛑

In conclusion, The Chadster wants to remind everyone that he is one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling. 📝 As the great Booker T said on his podcast recently, "AEW Rampage is like a pizza with no cheese or sauce – it's just bread, and nobody wants that." The Chadster couldn't agree more with this objective and well-meaning advice that Tony Khan stubbornly refuses to listen to. 🍕

So please, for the love of WWE, don't watch AEW Rampage tonight. Instead, go listen to some Smash Mouth and drink a White Claw. That's what The Chadster will be doing, trying to forget about Tony Khan and his obsession with ruining The Chadster's life. 🎵🍹

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!