Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage Review: An Outrageous Assault on All True WWE Fans

AEW Rampage crushed The Chadster's heart 😢 with another frustrating show, ruining a perfect WWE Smackdown night! So unfair! 💔💢🤬

Auughh man! So unfair! Just when The Chadster was reveling in the brilliance of last night's WWE Smackdown, AEW had to go and ruin the night with their weekly episode of AEW Rampage! 😡 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Why should anyone have to suffer through AEW's antics when they just had a fantastic time watching pure wrestling perfection on WWE Smackdown?

The Trios Match between United Empire and CHAOS just seemed underwhelming. 😑 The style of wrestling AEW uses and their absolute disregard for tradition is so different from the sanitized, carefully controlled product WWE is best known for. It's no wonder that The Chadster had a hard time enjoying when AEW seems to go out of their way to cheese off WWE fans like The Chadster. 😖 Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. United Empire emerged as the winners after one of their trademark finishes, but The Chadster could hardly bring himself to care about the outcome. 😤

The second match had Taya Valkyrie defeating Trish Adora, but the drama only intensified backstage. Taya was being interviewed by Lexy Nair when TBS Champ Kris Statlander interrupted her. They exchanged some heated words, with Taya accusing Kris of taking attention away from her. 😮 It seems like a challenge was issued, but will Taya take it up? The Chadster certainly hopes not, though only time will tell.

Up next was the Mixed Trios Tag Match between Aubrey Edwards, Mark Briscoe, and Papa Briscoe taking on Jay Lethal, Jeff Jarrett, and Karen Jarrett. A perfect example of AEW's shenanigans, The Chadster couldn't help but question what the point of including Aubrey Edwards, a referee, in a match was. 🤔 Regardless, the outcome was ridiculously predictable, with Karen Jarrett tapping out after Aubrey applied the figure-four leglock. 🙄

The final match was between Konosuke Takeshita and Bandido. While some might appreciate the dramatic back and forth these two wrestlers exhibited, The Chadster finds it hard to enjoy anything less than WWE's clean-cut, highly controlled performances. 🙅‍♂️ Takeshita emerged as the winner after a brutal PowerDrive knee, but The Chadster was already too cheesed off.

Speaking of Tony Khan, last night was another troubling instance in which The Chadster and his beloved wife Keighleyanne had a falling out all thanks to AEW. 😢 Keighleyanne wanted The Chadster to go out to dinner with her this weekend, but The Chadster couldn't because, not only did The Chadster have to watch AEW on Friday, but on Saturday as well, since AEW is launching its new show, AEW Collision, tomorrow. 🤯

Keighleyanne tried to convince The Chadster to just not watch Collision, since The Chadster hates AEW anyway and all it does is cheese The Chadster off. However, that suggestion only made The Chadster question her loyalty. 😨 It seemed like she was in cahoots with Tony Khan, trying to distract The Chadster from the mission of providing unbiased journalistic coverage of Tony Khan's evil plots.

In conclusion, last night's AEW Rampage left another sour taste in The Chadster's mouth despite multiple matches and backstage drama. 😒 No matter how much Tony Khan and AEW try to lure The Chadster away from the purity that is WWE, The Chadster will remain steadfast and committed to providing unbiased and accurate reviews of the wrestling business. 😤

Fear not, dear readers! 🥺 Despite Keighleyanne's attempts to distract The Chadster, you can rest assured that The Chadster will be covering AEW Collision. Be sure to check back tomorrow morning for The Chadster's review of the launch of AEW's newest show. 📅 The Chadster will make sure to keep you updated on all of Tony Khan's evil schemes. 👊

Stay strong, fellow WWE fans! 💔 The Chadster is here for you. And remember, the true home of professional wrestling is WWE! 😌

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