Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage Ruins The Chadster's WWE-Packed Payback Weekend

An AEW-filled weekend ruined by attacks on WWE vets and Tony Khan dairy shenanigans? Get The Chadster's take on AEW Rampage! 😠👎💔

Aauuugh man! 😠 Just when The Chadster was looking forward to a chill weekend of WWE content, what does Tony Khan do? You guessed it…he had to go and schedule AEW Rampage to kick off a three-day AEW-xtravangaza, turning The Chadster's entire weekend into a total cheese-off fest! Honestly, The Chadster ain't surprised. It's a classic Tony move — guy just can't stick to his own business! 😒

The night started with the ROH Tag Team Battle Royale, where Dark Order's John Silver & Alex Reynolds faced off against a whopping NINE other tag teams. The Chadster won't lie — it was an absolute mess of wrestlers just fighting for the spotlight. Did Silver & Reynolds win? Who knows! 🙄 The Chadster was so dang distracted by Khan's dastardly schedule that it was just too hard to concentrate. Now come on, that's so unfair! 😔

Just to make matters worse, Aussie Open decided to attack "The Ocho" Chris Jericho— a WWE veteran — at the broadcast booth after the battle royale! Any Aussie Open fan would have felt like they were witnessing a total burn, but to The Chadster, it felt like they had literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back. 🤬 Also cheesing off The Chadster was Hangman Adam Page scoring a victory over a jobber. Come on, Tony Khan! Whatever happened to real competition, like they have at WWE? 🤦

Through all these shenanigans, The Chadster couldn't help noticing that AEW seems to have a strange infatuation with Kip Sabian & Gringo Loco. Hey, Tony, ever considered that maybe, just maybe, they're not that interesting compared to all the amazing talent the WWE has? No? Didn't think so. No wonder they lost to Vikingo and Nick Wayne. 🙄

And who could miss the evening's "main event"? A tag team match between Skye Blue & Willow Nightingale and Taya Valkyrie & Anna Jay. Or, as The Chadster prefers to call it, "the moment AEW impersonated WWE." Let's get one thing straight: Anna Jay accidentally hitting Taya with a thrust kick to cost her team the match…that's classic WWE, Tony! What part of "originality" do you not understand? 🤨 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 👎

An absolutely unbelievable event took place this morning that The Chadster just has to share with you! 🤦 Right from the get-go, things were suspicious: The Chadster woke up to the sight of Keighleyanne, absorbed in her phone and giggling while typing messages to that guy Gary, as usual, oblivious to The Chadster! 😠

Shaking off the early morning frustration, The Chadster decided to make himself a cup of coffee — a White Claw seltzer and WWE Network kind of morning, the kind The Chadster cherishes — only to have that ruined too! 🤬 After adding the usual creamer and sugar, The Chadster took a hearty sip, expecting the familiar creamy delight.

But oh, such betrayal! The moment it touched The Chadster's lips, it was clear something was off. Horribly off. The flavor, texture, it all screamed real cream! But The Chadster ONLY uses dairy-free creamer! 😵

Rushing to the restroom — because let's face it, The Chadster can't handle dairy — while clutching his toosh, a realization dawned: Could this be the work of Tony Khan? Replacing creamer with real cream would be just the sort of low-blow The Chadster would expect from him! Always so obsessed with meddling in The Chadster's life, isn't he? 💔 Is nothing sacred to this man?!

In a nutshell, AEW Rampage, which should have been a quiet, ignorable show just doing its own thing, instead morphed into a Tony-Khan-led crusade against WWE and everything The Chadster holds dear. The Chadster is pretty cheesed off, folks. And if you see Tony Khan, tell the guy to chill out with the ambushes, okay? The Chadster's weekend plans are sacred! 😤😤😤

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