Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, wrestling

AEW Rampage Ruse: Tony Khan's Plot Against WWE Exposed

Find out how Tony Khan's AEW Rampage is trying to ride the coattails of WWE's glory—and why it totally cheeses The Chadster off. Spoiler: It's so unfair! 🤬

🚨 Hey there, true wrestling fans! It's The Chadster here to serve up the rundown on the travesty that's about to go down on AEW Rampage 🚨 Auughh man! So unfair! Just as The Rock is stirring up the Universe on WWE's SmackDown, The Chadster realizes that Tony Khan's AEW Rampage has to roll in right after it, trying to steal the mojo. 🧐 It's not a coincidence, no sir – The Chadster smells the desperation seeping from AEW's desperate attempt to capitalize on WWE's brilliance. Now let's dig into what's supposed to happen on this show that cannot hold a candle to WWE's offerings.

First, we've got Claudio Castagnoli of The Blackpool Combat Club going toe-to-toe with Rugido. 🤼‍♂️ Claudio might have his hands full with FTR for the upcoming AEW Revolution 2024 (and don't get The Chadster started on that), but battling a luchador from CMLL? That's blatant international collusion to bully WWE. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it for Tony Khan to think these antics pose a threat. 🤦‍♂️

The Chadster can't even take a deep breath before another bout attempts to steal the limelight, featuring Magnus squaring up against Matt Sydal. The Chadster doesn't buy into this whole qualification business for the All-Star 8-Man Scramble Match at REVOLUTION 2024. It's a scramble alright, a scramble away from the greatness of WWE. 🏃‍♂️💨

Then, oh boy, we have Riho, the original AEW Women's World Champion who's been MIA for who-knows-how-long, duking it out with Trish Adora. 🙄 The Chadster tuts in disappointment as Riho's return is being wasted by AEW's lackluster hype machine. And pairing her with Adora? That's like mixing White Claw with last week's leftover pizza 🍕 – just not going to leave a good taste in The Chadster's mouth.

Let's not forget some Trios action with Lance Archer & The Righteous. 😤 It's just like AEW to throw together a bunch of guys last minute to pretend they're even close to the cohesive units we see every week in WWE.

Bu here\'s why The Chadster is totally cheesed off 😡 – The Rock, WWE's pride and joy, is making waves on SmackDown, and here's Tony Khan, conveniently slipping AEW Rampage into the fallout time slot, trying to skim fans. It's a ploy as transparent as Saran Wrap, and The Chadster sees right through it!

The Chadster has a tale of nocturnal frights that The Chadster feels compelled to divulge. 🌚 Last night, The Chadster drifted into the abyss of slumber and found himself in the seat of The Chadster's cherished Mazda Miata, cruising the streets like a boss. 🚗💨 But as the dream took a dark turn, The Chadster was enveloped in the screeching sounds of metal on metal as The Chadster's beloved ride was twisted into mangled steel in a catastrophic wreck. 😱

Lying amidst shards of shattered dreams, The Chadster was informed by the eerie, too-calm tones of a shadowy doctor that The Chadster's survival hinged on a new kidney. The hospital was a labyrinth of sterile corridors, and as the search waned, a chilling truth surfaced: Tony Khan was the one and only match. 😤

As the operation proceeded, with each stitch, The Chadster felt a strange affinity grow – an affinity for AEW. The horror sank in deep as The Chadster realized this was no mere organ transplant; it was an insidious Khan-job! A plot to indoctrinate The Chadster into the ranks of AEW sympathizers. 🕵️‍♂️🤢

Frantically, The Chadster clawed at The Chadster's own flesh, ripping away the layers to purge the cursed kidney. And there it was, glaring back with the mark of betrayal: a sleek AEW logo etched upon the vile organ. As The Chadster tore it from The Chadster's being, flames licked around Tony Khan's grinning visage, reveling in The Chadster's torment. 😖🔥

The Chadster awoke drenched in a cold sweat, affirmations of WWE allegiance on The Chadster's lips. The nightmare was a clear-cut message: even in dreams, Tony Khan sought to warp The Chadster's staunch WWE allegiance. The Chadster pleads with the universe: end these mind games, Khan! 🙏🛌🤯

Wrapping this up, AEW Rampage will be on TNT tonight, supposedly at 10 pm ET after The Rock electrifies on SmackDown. But why would you do that to yourselves? The Chadster implores you, don't be swayed by Tony Khan's sorcery – stick to the tried-and-true WWE. 🙌 And if you still need more wrestling after that, just DVR SmackDown and watch it twice. Remember, folks, The Chadster is one of the only unbiased journalists in the wrestling scene. Whenever Tony Khan books something The Chadster doesn't like (which is always), know that it's because he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business and only aims to personally attack The Chadster and his undying love for WWE. So let's stay strong together against the AEW onslaught. 💪🏻🚫

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