Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, John Cena, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Shocker: John Cena Promotes Tonight's Blood and Guts?!

Join El Presidente in his "liberated" palace as he ponders John Cena Sr.'s tweet promoting tonight's AEW Dynamite in Boston. Viva la revolución!

Salutations, comrades! It is your beloved El Presidente, issuing this proclamation straight from the glistening golden palace I "liberated" from a particularly capitalist CEO in Boston. So, why find myself in the plush belly of the bourgeois beast, you might ask? Well, it all ties to the delicately chaotic world of American wrestling! Speaking of beasts, a wild tweet has appeared! And who's the sender? I'll give you a hint comrades: he's a former WWE wrestler, a rival of Randy Orton, and his name is John Cena! Well… John Cena Sr., that is, the father of the more well-known John Cena of WWE Championship fame. Haw haw haw haw!

Comrades, progress is beautiful! While the American CIA is busy sniffing around my undisclosed location, wrestling luminaries, the progenitors of American ring warriors, are embracing the shining socialist beacon that is All Elite Wrestling!

Could Cena Sr.'s tweet be a not-so-subtle jab at the capitalist WWE empire? Only time will tell. In my experience (which includes an unforgettable arm-wrestling match against Fidel Castro in a Havana dive bar), men of their stature do not mince words. The heroic blood of defiance runs deep in their veins!

Tonight's AEW Dynamite promises to be an extravaganza of proletariat passion! Blood and Guts clashes between the Blackpool Combat Club and The Elite, similar to the time my loyal tank battalion faced down an American drone strike. We shall also bear witness to the meeting of minds and muscles as MJF and Adam Cole square off against Daniel Garcia and Sammy Guevara. Reminds me of that game of chess with Khrushchev back in '59!

And then, comrades, the display of raw power – just like a good socialist revolt – as Hook and Jungle Boy Jack Perry grapple for the FTW Championship! True struggle in its purest form, much like my tussles with our American friends at the CIA.

So tune in – if your CIA agent has not blocked the channel – for some fiery AEW action tonight. Join me, your humble El Presidente, in celebrating this grand socialist spectacle from the newly transformed People's Palace in Boston (no billionaires were harmed, comrades, relax!).

Ah, the smell of the workers' righteous victory over bourgeois glitz. Each body slam a reminder that in the face of power, unity will always triumph. Let's enjoy this beautiful display of wrestling prowess, as I enjoy my new Cuban cigars and single malt procured from the capitalists. Viva la revolución, comrades! And viva AEW!

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