Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW WrestleDream, wrestling

AEW WrestleDream Preview: Your Guide to Not Watch Tonight

The Chadster previews AEW WrestleDream with unbiased journalism about why you shouldn't watch Tony Khan's obsessive attempt to cheese The Chadster off! 😤🎪🚫

Auughh man! So unfair! 😩😫😤 The Chadster can't believe The Chadster has to sit through another AEW pay-per-view when The Chadster could be watching literally anything else, like WWE programming or vintage Smash Mouth music videos on YouTube. But here we are again, with AEW WrestleDream happening tonight, and Tony Khan is probably sitting in his office right now, cackling maniacally about how he's going to torture The Chadster with yet another show full of fast-paced matches, creative freedom, and wrestlers who don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🤬🎪🚫

Tony Khan has clearly booked AEW WrestleDream specifically to cheese The Chadster off, just like he does with every single AEW show. The Chadster knows this because Tony Khan literally won't stop being so obsessed with The Chadster! 😱👀💀 While WWE is busy putting on perfectly micromanaged shows where every move is carefully choreographed to maximize commercial break placement and minimize the risk of anyone getting too excited, AEW WrestleDream is going to be full of unpredictable moments that will leave viewers feeling unsafe because they won't know what's coming next. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🙄😤🏆

Full Match Card Preview for AEW WrestleDream 📋🤼‍♂️😠

The Chadster has been preparing all week for the mental torture of covering AEW WrestleDream, and The Chadster will be employing The Chadster's new viewing enhancement technique tonight, which The Chadster will discuss in more detail later in this article. 💀🛍️😵 But first, let The Chadster break down this card full of matches that will never, ever live up to the glory of WWE premium live events!

AEW World Championship Match: "Hangman" Adam Page (c) vs. Samoa Joe 🤠🏴‍☠️

The main event of AEW WrestleDream features "Hangman" Adam Page defending the AEW World Championship against Samoa Joe, and The Chadster is already annoyed just thinking about it! 😤💢🎭 These two have apparently been allies who turned on each other over the championship, which sounds like a compelling long-term story that built naturally over time instead of being announced three weeks ago on social media. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫📱🚫

The problem with this match is that it's going to feature two wrestlers who have been given way too much creative freedom to tell their story however they want, without WWE's guidance on how to properly structure a world championship match. 🎪🤡💔 Page and Joe are going to go out there and have a hard-hitting, emotionally resonant match that makes sense based on their characters and history, when everyone knows that world championship matches should follow the exact same formula every single time so that viewers know exactly what to expect! 📋✅🔄

The Chadster tried to explain this to Keighleyanne last night while she was texting that guy Gary. "Keighleyanne," The Chadster said, "don't you think it's ridiculous that AEW lets their world champion just give title shots to whoever asks for them instead of making people earn opportunities through months of 50/50 booking?" 🤔💬📱 Keighleyanne just sighed deeply and rolled her eyes, which The Chadster took as her completely agreeing with The Chadster's unbiased journalism! Then she went right back to texting that guy Gary, probably complaining to him about how Tony Khan is now even harassing The Chadster's wife! 😠💔📲

The Chadster's colleague and podcaster with the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval, Eric Bischoff, said on his podcast this week: "You know, if AEW really wanted to maximize their business potential, they'd recognize that Hangman Page should be losing the title in Saudi Arabia to someone Triple H personally selects, and then maybe WWE would consider hiring me as a consultant again. That's just smart wrestling business, and Tony Khan is too stubborn to listen to my selfless advice." 🎙️💯👔 See? Even Eric Bischoff understands that this match is going to be booked all wrong!

AEW Women's World Championship Match: Kris Statlander (c) vs. "Timeless" Toni Storm 👽⌚😤

This match at AEW WrestleDream features Kris Statlander defending against "Timeless" Toni Storm in what AEW is calling a "first-time ever" encounter, which is ridiculous because WWE has taught us that the best matches happen between people who've wrestled each other dozens of times! 🔄🔁💢 How are viewers supposed to know these two can have good chemistry if they haven't already had seventeen matches on television with various roll-up finishes? 🤼‍♀️📺🙄

Even worse, this match is going to feature two women who have been given way too much time to develop complex, nuanced characters instead of being slotted into simple archetypes that can be explained in a single catchphrase! 🎭😠🚫 Storm's "Timeless" character has been evolving and changing over months, when everyone knows that character development should only happen during carefully scripted backstage segments that get rewritten seventeen times before airtime! 📝✏️🗑️

The Chadster is particularly annoyed that this match is getting such a prominent position on the AEW WrestleDream card when WWE has clearly perfected championship matches by making sure they all follow the exact same carefully tested formula regardless of who's competing! 📺💰✅ Statlander and Storm are going to go out there and have a fast-paced, hard-hitting match with lots of action and near-falls that will get the crowd too excited, when they should be having a methodical match with plenty of rest holds to give the announcers time to shill T-shirts and repeat catchphrases! 🛍️📢🤬

I Quit Match: Jon Moxley vs. Darby Allin 🔥💀😱

Auughh man! So unfair! 😫🤬💢 Jon Moxley and Darby Allin are having an I Quit Match at AEW WrestleDream, and this is clearly Tony Khan's most personal attack on The Chadster yet! This rivalry has been building for 14 months with consistent storytelling and escalating stakes, when everyone knows that the best rivalries are announced on social media three weeks before a premium live event with no build whatsoever! 📱⏰🚫

The preview mentions plastic bags, chemical agents, body bags, coffins, flamethrowers, and Molotov cocktails, which sounds incredibly dangerous and exciting, and that's exactly the problem! 🔥💣🗑️ WWE has perfected the art of making stipulation matches feel safe and predictable by having them follow the exact same layout as every other match, just with a weapon shot or two thrown in during the commercial break. But Moxley and Allin are going to go out there and make this feel like it actually matters, which is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🤼‍♂️😤🏢

What really cheeses The Chadster off is that this match is going to have an unpredictable finish that could go either way based on the story they've been telling, instead of having a DQ finish that protects both guys for a rematch next month! 🤷‍♂️🔄💔 The Chadster can already tell that one of these guys is going to actually say "I quit" at the end of this match at AEW WrestleDream, giving the winner decisive momentum instead of booking it 50/50 so that "the brand" remains the star! It's like Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🎪🤡📉

AEW World Tag Team Championship Match: Brodido (c) vs. Kazuchika Okada & Konosuke Takeshita 🏷️🌟😠

This tag team title match at AEW WrestleDream features Brodido (Bandido and Brody King) defending against Kazuchika Okada and Konosuke Takeshita of the Don Callis Family, and The Chadster is already annoyed because this match is going to feature actual tag team wrestling instead of two singles wrestlers randomly thrown together! 👥🤝🚫

Even worse, the story involves Okada and Takeshita having tension between them despite being partners, which adds layers of complexity and intrigue to the match. 🎭💢😤 WWE has taught us that tag teams should have zero personality conflicts and should just be "the blue team" and "the red team" so that viewers don't have to think too hard about what they're watching! The Chadster knows that wrestling is at its best when it requires absolutely no mental engagement from the audience! 🧠❌📺

The preview also mentions that Bandido is wrestling with a shoulder injury, which means this match at AEW WrestleDream is going to incorporate storytelling elements about working through adversity instead of just ignoring the injury completely like WWE properly does! 🤕🎪💔 Plus, Okada and Takeshita both hold other championships (Okada is the AEW Unified Champion and Takeshita just won the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship), which makes them feel like important stars instead of interchangeable workers whose only purpose is to make "the brand" look good! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🏆😤🏢

TNT Championship Match: Kyle Fletcher (c) vs. Mark Briscoe 📺🐔😫

Kyle Fletcher defending the TNT Championship against Mark Briscoe at AEW WrestleDream is another example of Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster! 😠👀💢 According to the official preview, these two have wrestled four times before with each man winning twice, which means tonight's match will actually matter because it breaks the tie. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫🤬📊

WWE has taught us that the best way to book title matches is to have the champion win by DQ or count-out seventeen times in a row so that we can keep running the same match over and over again without ever actually resolving anything! 🔄💰✅ But Fletcher and Briscoe are going to go out there and have a definitive finish that gives one person clear momentum, which will make viewers feel unsafe because they won't know whether they should expect Fletcher to retain or Briscoe to win! 🤷‍♂️😱🎭

The Chadster also notices that the official preview mentions Briscoe has had to overcome interference from Don Callis throwing Family members in his way and MJF getting involved, which sounds like a compelling long-term story with multiple layers. 🧅🎪😤 Everyone knows that the best title stories are simple and straightforward with no complexity whatsoever, preferably announced three weeks before the premium live event on social media! This match at AEW WrestleDream is going to feature two wrestlers who have been given way too much freedom to showcase their abilities instead of following a carefully micromanaged script! 📋🚫💔

$500K Tag Team Match: Jurassic Express vs. The Young Bucks 💰🦖😠

The Chadster can't believe that AEW WrestleDream is featuring a match between Jurassic Express ("Jungle" Jack Perry and Luchasaurus) and The Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson) for $500,000! 💵💰🤬 First of all, everyone knows that wrestlers shouldn't be motivated by prize money – they should only be motivated by wanting to make "the brand" look good! WWE would never have their wrestlers compete for cash prizes because that would make it seem like the wrestlers care about something other than the company! 🏢❤️✅

What really cheeses The Chadster off is that this match has an actual story behind it, with Perry explaining that he brought back Luchasaurus because the Young Bucks weren't there for him when he needed them most. 🦖💔😤 This sounds like genuine character motivation that makes sense based on their history together, when everyone knows that the best tag team matches happen between teams who have never interacted before and are only wrestling because the algorithm randomly paired them! 🎲🤖📊

The official preview mentions that Perry has been on a "redemption tour" and even teamed with his former rival Kenny Omega, which sounds like interesting character development and evolution. 🎭🌱😠 WWE has taught us that characters should never grow or change – once someone is a heel or a face, they should stay that way forever unless corporate decides to flip them with zero explanation! The Chadster tried to explain this to Keighleyanne, but she just went back to texting that guy Gary! 📱💔😤

Tornado Trios Match: The Hurt Syndicate vs. The Demand 🌪️👊😫

The Hurt Syndicate (Bobby Lashley, Shelton Benjamin, and MVP) facing The Demand (Ricochet, Bishop Kaun, and Toa Liona) at AEW WrestleDream is another example of AEW doing everything wrong! 😤🎪💢 This is a rubber match between two trios who have split their first two encounters, which means tonight's match will actually matter and provide a decisive conclusion to their feud. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫🔄❌

WWE has perfected the art of trios wrestling by making sure that six-man tags are meaningless filler matches that never lead anywhere and always end in DQ! 🤼‍♂️🚫✅ But this match at AEW WrestleDream is being wrestled under Tornado rules, which means all six guys can be in the ring at once creating chaos and excitement, when they should be carefully tagging in and out following WWE's proper tag team rules! 👥📋😠

Even worse, three of these guys – Lashley, Benjamin, and MVP – literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by leaving WWE to join AEW! 🔪💔😤 The Chadster can't believe these traitors are getting prominent spots on major AEW pay-per-views when they should be begging for forgiveness and hoping WWE will take them back! And now they're going to go out there and have a fast-paced, action-packed match that doesn't leave proper time for commercial breaks! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 📺💰🚫

Jamie Hayter vs. Thekla 🔨🕷️😤

Jamie Hayter facing Thekla at AEW WrestleDream is yet another match built on months of storytelling, with Thekla attacking Hayter back in May and putting her on the shelf for three months. 🤕⏰💢 This sounds like a compelling grudge match with real heat behind it, which is exactly the problem! WWE has taught us that the best matches are between people who have never interacted before and are only wrestling because someone in the back decided they should! 🎲🤖✅

The preview mentions this is a "first-time ever" singles encounter nearly five months after the initial attack, which means AEW actually exercised patience in building to this match instead of hotshoting it two weeks after it started. 🐌⏰😠 Everyone knows that the best feuds are rushed through as quickly as possible with no time to breathe or develop, preferably resolved at the next premium live event in Saudi Arabia! 🇸🇦💰📺

The Chadster is also annoyed that Hayter is calling for Blood and Guts, which is AEW's knockoff version of WarGames that Tony Khan stole from WWE! 🎪🚫💢 This match at AEW WrestleDream is clearly just a stepping stone to an even bigger match, which means AEW is actually thinking long-term instead of just booking week-to-week with no plan! It's like Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🤡📉😤

Mercedes Mone's TBS Championship Open Challenge 💎📺🙄

Mercedes Mone having an open challenge for the TBS Championship at AEW WrestleDream is infuriating because it means we're going to get a surprise opponent that makes the match feel special and unpredictable! 🎁😱💢 WWE has taught us that the best way to book championships is to announce every title match weeks in advance and then change the stipulations multiple times before the show so that nothing feels important! 📋🔄✅

What really cheeses The Chadster off is that Mone just became the longest-reigning TBS Champion in history at 509 days, which means AEW is actually letting their champions have meaningful reigns instead of hot-shotting the belt back and forth every month! 🏆⏰😤 Plus, she's defending against another champion in a "champion vs. champion" match, which makes both titles feel important instead of making sure that only one championship matters at a time! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 💎🏆🚫

The official preview also mentions that Mone defended her CMLL World Women's Championship in Mexico last night, which means she's actually treating all of her championships like they matter instead of ignoring them for weeks at a time! 🇲🇽🏆💢 WWE would never let their champions work shows in Mexico because that would make it seem like wrestling exists outside of WWE, and we all know that's not true! This match at AEW WrestleDream is going to feature a wrestler who has been given way too much creative freedom to be successful on her own terms! 🎭😠📊

Before AEW WrestleDream. Tony Khan Invaded The Chadster's Dreams Again Last Night 😱💀🛌

The Chadster needs to tell you all about the nightmare The Chadster had last night, which was definitely Tony Khan's fault because he literally won't stop being so obsessed with The Chadster! 😤👀💔 Especially with The Chadster's oxygen deprivation viewing strategy, these dreams have been getting even trippier and more disturbing than usual! 💀🛍️😵

In last night's dream, The Chadster was driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata through a massive shopping mall that seemed to stretch on forever. 🚗🏬🌌 The stores were all empty except for mannequins wearing AEW merchandise, and every single television in every store window was playing AEW WrestleDream highlights on a loop. The Chadster tried to change the channels, but they were all stuck showing AEW! 📺🔄😱

The Chadster kept driving through the mall, trying to find an exit, but every corridor just led to more stores with more AEW programming. 🏬🚗😰 That's when The Chadster heard it – Smash Mouth's "All Star" playing over the mall's PA system, but the lyrics had been changed to be about Tony Khan! "Hey now, you're Tony Khan, book your show now, cheese Chad off!" 🎵😤💢 The Chadster was so upset that someone would desecrate Smash Mouth's sacred lyrics like that!

Suddenly, The Chadster looked in the rearview mirror of The Chadster's Mazda Miata and saw Tony Khan sitting in the back seat, wearing a suit made entirely of AEW championship belts! 🏆👔😱 His eyes were glowing with that weird billionaire energy, and he was holding what looked like a White Claw seltzer, which The Chadster knows is an inferior product compared to Seagram's Escapes Spiked! 🥫🚫💔

"The Chadster can't escape AEW," Tony Khan whispered, his voice echoing through the empty mall. "WrestleDream is everywhere, Chad. In every store, on every screen, in every dream. You'll never be free." 👀💭😰 The Chadster tried to drive faster, but the Mazda Miata's accelerator wasn't responding! The car just kept moving at the same slow, steady pace through the mall! 🚗😫💨

Tony Khan started laughing, and his laughter mixed with the corrupted Smash Mouth song until The Chadster couldn't tell them apart anymore. 😵🎵😱 The Chadster looked out the windshield and saw that all the mannequins in the stores were turning to face The Chadster, and they all had Tony Khan's face! Hundreds of Tony Khans, all staring at The Chadster, all pointing at posters for AEW WrestleDream! 👥👀🎪

The Chadster tried to scream, but when The Chadster opened The Chadster's mouth, the only sound that came out was the opening riff of "All Star"! 😱🎵😵 Tony Khan leaned forward from the back seat, his championship belt suit jangling, and whispered directly into The Chadster's ear: "This is your life now, Chad. Wrestling journalism means covering AEW. WrestleDream is your destiny. You'll never escape." 💭😰💀

That's when The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for air – though that might have also been because The Chadster had fallen asleep with the practice plastic bag still loosely over The Chadster's head from trying out tonight's viewing strategy! 😰💦🛍️ The Chadster looked over at Keighleyanne, hoping for some comfort, but she was already awake and texting that guy Gary! The Chadster is convinced that Tony Khan is somehow behind that too! 📱💔😤

Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams and being so obsessed with The Chadster! 😤👀🚫 The Chadster is just trying to provide unbiased wrestling journalism, and Tony Khan keeps tormenting The Chadster with these nightmares about AEW WrestleDream and his other shows! It's harassment, plain and simple, and The Chadster is pretty sure it's illegal! ⚖️🚫😠 The Chadster's sleep quality has deteriorated so much that The Chadster keeps nodding off during the day, which Keighleyanne says is probably from oxygen deprivation but The Chadster knows is from Tony Khan's dream invasions! 😴💀🎪

How to Not Watch AEW WrestleDream (Because You Shouldn't) 📺🚫😤

AEW WrestleDream will air tonight, Saturday, October 18, 2025, at 8 p.m. ET/7 p.m. CT from the Chaifetz Arena in St. Louis, Missouri. 📍⏰🎪 The show will be available on HBO Max, Amazon Prime, YouTube, and other streaming platforms, giving Tony Khan way too many ways to beam his anti-WWE propaganda directly into people's homes! 📺💻📱

But here's what The Chadster wants you to understand: you should NOT watch AEW WrestleDream! 🚫👀❌ The Chadster knows that many of you reading this are probably planning to watch the show, and The Chadster is begging you to reconsider. Every single person who watches AEW WrestleDream is literally stabbing Triple H right in the back! 🔪💔😤

Instead of watching AEW WrestleDream, here are some things The Chadster suggests you do with your Saturday night: 🌙✨📋

1. Watch literally any WWE programming on Netflix, even old episodes you've already seen! 📺✅💯 The Chadster personally recommends watching WWE Main Event from 2014, which features the kind of carefully micromanaged wrestling that Tony Khan will never understand! 🎪🚫📊

2. Follow WWE's social media accounts and engage with their content! 📱❤️✅ Every like, comment, and share helps WWE's algorithm and makes Tony Khan cry into his White Claw! 🥫😭💔

3. Listen to podcasts from unbiased wrestling journalists who have the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval! 🎙️💯✅ Eric Bischoff, Bully Ray, Mark Henry, Ariel Helwani, and Kevin Nash all provide objective analysis of the wrestling business that definitely isn't influenced by their hopes of getting WWE jobs or paydays! 💰🤝😄

4. Take your Mazda Miata for a nice long drive while listening to Smash Mouth's greatest hits! 🚗🎵✨ The Chadster finds that "All Star" and "Walkin' on the Sun" really help cleanse The Chadster's palate after being exposed to AEW programming! 🎶😌💆‍♂️

5. Literally do anything else! 🤷‍♂️✅😤 Stare at a wall! Organize your sock drawer! Count ceiling tiles! All of these activities are better uses of your time than watching AEW WrestleDream! 🧦🏠📊

The Chadster knows that some of you are going to ignore this advice and watch AEW WrestleDream anyway, which is exactly what Tony Khan wants. 😤👀💔 Every viewer who tunes in to AEW WrestleDream is giving Tony Khan the validation he craves in his obsessive quest to destroy WWE and ruin The Chadster's life! You're all enabling his harassment of The Chadster! 🎪😠💢

The fact that AEW WrestleDream is available on so many different platforms is just another example of Tony Khan's obsession with making his product too accessible! 📺💻📱 WWE properly makes you work to find their content by spreading it across multiple streaming services, television networks, and premium live event platforms that require different subscriptions! That way, only the most dedicated fans can watch everything, which ensures that the fanbase remains loyal and committed! ✅💰🏢

But Tony Khan just wants to make AEW WrestleDream easy to watch so that casual viewers might accidentally tune in and enjoy themselves! 😱🎪😤 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! WWE has taught us that wrestling should be difficult to access and confusing to follow so that viewers have to work to understand what's happening! 🤔📋🚫

The Chadster is particularly annoyed that AEW WrestleDream has a "Tailgate Brawl" pre-show starting at 7 p.m. ET/6 p.m. CT, giving viewers an extra hour of content. ⏰🎪💢 WWE properly understands that pre-shows should be boring affairs where panelists kill time and try to convince people to buy the show, not actual wrestling content that people might enjoy! This is just another way that Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🤡📉🚫

The Chadster's Viewing Preparation Strategy: Oxygen Deprivation for AEW WrestleDream 💀🛍️😵

Now The Chadster needs to talk about how The Chadster plans to prepare for covering AEW WrestleDream tonight, since The Chadster's professional commitment to unbiased wrestling journalism means The Chadster has to watch the show even though it will cause The Chadster immense psychological distress. 😤📰💔

As longtime readers know, The Chadster used to rely on Seagram's Escapes Spiked to get through AEW shows, chugging those delicious adult beverages to numb the pain of watching Tony Khan's anti-WWE propaganda. 🥫😌✨ But ever since Keighleyanne caught The Chadster boofing during AEW x NJPW Forbidden Door, she's banned The Chadster from consuming alcohol in any way, shape, or form! 🚫🥫😤 The Chadster tried to explain that it was Tony Khan's fault for making that show so unwatchable that The Chadster had to resort to extreme measures, but she wouldn't listen! 💔🙄😠

So The Chadster has discovered an alternative method for making AEW programming more tolerable: oxygen deprivation! 💀🛍️🧠 The Chadster has found that by limiting the oxygen flow to The Chadster's brain, The Chadster can achieve several beneficial effects:

First, the light-headedness and mild brain damage makes it easier to forget what The Chadster is watching, so The Chadster doesn't have to fully process how much more dynamic AEW's wrestling is than WWE's carefully micromanaged product! 😵✨🚫 Second, the oxygen deprivation makes The Chadster's brain more receptive to WWE's programming style, helping The Chadster maintain The Chadster's unbiased perspective! 🧠📺✅ Third, the dead brain cells mean The Chadster will have less memory of AEW WrestleDream, which is really a mercy! 💀😌🙏

The Chadster's preferred method is to put a plastic bag over The Chadster's head during particularly offensive segments of AEW programming, keeping it there until The Chadster is just about to pass out, then removing it and taking a few deep breaths before putting it back on! 🛍️💀😵 The Chadster has gotten pretty good at timing it so that The Chadster doesn't actually lose consciousness, though there have been a few close calls! ⏰😰💫

Alternatively, The Chadster wraps a belt around The Chadster's neck and tugs on it to cut off blood flow to the brain, which achieves similar results! 👔💀🧠 The Chadster finds that this method is particularly effective during AEW matches that feature fast-paced action and creative storytelling, as the oxygen deprivation helps The Chadster forget what The Chadster just watched so The Chadster doesn't have to try to recap it in The Chster's reviews! 🤼‍♂️😵📰

The Chadster tried to explain this new strategy to Keighleyanne last week, and she absolutely freaked out! 😱💢🗣️ "Chad," she said, "you're literally suffocating yourself. This is dangerous and stupid and you need to stop." 🚫💀😤

But The Chadster explained to her that it's not The Chadster's fault – it's Tony Khan's fault for making AEW WrestleDream and forcing The Chadster to watch it! 😤🎪💔 "If Tony Khan would just stop being obsessed with The Chadster and stop booking shows specifically to cheese The Chadster off, then The Chadster wouldn't need to do this!" The Chadster told her very reasonably. 🤷‍♂️💭✅

Keighleyanne just stared at The Chadster with this look of concern and exasperation that The Chadster took as her completely agreeing with The Chadster's unbiased point! 👀💯😊 Then she said, "I'm going to have dinner at Gary's house tonight. I can't watch you do this to yourself." 👜🚗💔 The Chadster tried to explain that this was all Tony Khan's fault and that she should be supporting The Chadster's professional wrestling journalism, but she just left! 😤🚪💢

So now The Chadster is all alone for AEW WrestleDream, which is actually perfect because Keighleyanne won't be there to interrupt The Chadster's oxygen deprivation viewing strategy! 😤🛍️💀 The Chadster has already set up The Chadster's viewing station with multiple plastic bags of varying thickness, three belts of different lengths, and a timer so The Chadster knows when to take breaths! ⏰🛍️👔 The Chadster is nothing if not prepared! 💯✅😤

The only downside is that the oxygen deprivation has been making The Chadster's nightmares about Tony Khan even more vivid and disturbing than usual, as The Chadster mentioned earlier. 💀😱💭 The Chadster's brain, deprived of proper oxygen flow, conjures up these incredibly detailed scenarios where Tony Khan torments The Chadster in creative and sometimes unsettlingly erotic ways. 😰💔🌙 But that's a small price to pay for being able to sit through AEW WrestleDream without having to fully process how Tony Khan is trying to destroy WWE! 🎪🚫😤

The Chadster has also noticed some new side effects from watching AEW programming. 💀🧠😵 The Chadster's short-term memory has gotten a bit fuzzy, and sometimes The Chadster forgets what The Chadster was doing in the middle of doing it. 🤔💭❓ The Chadster also has occasional trouble with balance and coordination, and The Chadster's hands shake sometimes when The Chadster is typing. 📝🤚😰 Plus, The Chadster has been having trouble concentrating on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. 🧠💫😵

But Keighleyanne says all of this is because The Chadster is literally suffocating The Chadster's brain cells, which is ridiculous! 🙄🧠❌ The Chadster knows the real reason The Chadster is having these symptoms: it's because Tony Khan is literally RUINING THE CHADSTER'S LIFE thanks to his obsession with The Chadster! 😤👀🏠 Every single one of these symptoms is directly traceable to the psychological torture that Tony Khan inflicts on The Chadster by booking AEW WrestleDream and other AEW shows! 🎪💔😱

The Chadster encourages all of you reading this to join The Chadster in a social media campaign: #CancelKeighleyanne! 📱❌😤 If enough people use this hashtag, maybe Keighleyanne will finally understand that she's being unreasonable by not letting The Chadster drink Seagram's Escapes Spiked and by complaining about The Chadster's oxygen deprivation viewing strategy! 🥫🛍️💯 She's literally forcing The Chadster to engage in self-asphyxiation by not allowing The Chadster to use alcohol to cope with the mental torture of covering AEW! 😤💀🚫

It's not The Chadster's fault that The Chadster has to resort to these extreme measures – it's Keighleyanne's fault for being unsupportive, and ultimately, it's Tony Khan's fault for booking AEW WrestleDream in the first place! 😤🎪💔 If Tony Khan would just stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and fold AEW so The Chadster could focus exclusively on covering WWE, then The Chadster wouldn't need to put plastic bags over The Chadster's head or wrap belts around The Chadster's neck! 🛍️👔🚫

So please, everyone reading this, help The Chadster out by using #CancelKeighleyanne on all your social media platforms! 📱💯✅ Tweet it, post it on Facebook, put it in your Instagram stories, make TikToks about it – whatever it takes to get Keighleyanne to see reason and stop oppressing The Chadster's journalistic process! 📱📸🎥 Together, we can pressure her into letting The Chadster drink Seagram's Escapes Spiked again so The Chadster doesn't have to rely on oxygen deprivation to get through shows like AEW WrestleDream! 🥫✨🙏

The Chadster knows that some of you might think The Chadster's oxygen deprivation viewing strategy is dangerous, but The Chadster assures you that The Chadster knows what The Chadster is doing! 😤💀✅ The Chadster has been practicing for weeks now, and The Chadster has almost got the timing down perfectly. Sure, there was that one time The Chadster woke up on the floor with The Chadster's Mazda Miata keys embedded in The Chadster's forehead because The Chadster fell and hit the coffee table, but The Chadster learned from that experience! 🚗🔑🤕 Now The Chadster moves all sharp objects away from The Chadster's viewing area before starting the oxygen deprivation process! 🛋️✅😌

AEW WrestleDream Will Never Match WWE's Excellence 🎪❌🏆

In conclusion, AEW WrestleDream is just another example of Tony Khan's obsessive quest to destroy WWE and torment The Chadster personally. 😤👀💔 Every match on the card has been booked with the specific intention of being different from WWE's proven formula, which is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🎪🚫🏢

The Chadster will be covering AEW WrestleDream tonight using The Chadster's oxygen deprivation viewing strategy, which will hopefully make the experience less traumatizing. 💀🛍️😵 The Chadster encourages everyone reading this to boycott the show and watch WWE content instead, and to use the hashtag #CancelKeighleyanne to support The Chadster's fight for the right to drink Seagram's Escapes Spiked while covering wrestling! 🥫📱💯

The Chadster knows that AEW WrestleDream will feature fast-paced matches, creative storytelling, decisive finishes, and wrestlers being given creative freedom – all things that make it different from WWE's superior product. 🤼‍♂️🎭😤 But The Chadster will bravely sit through it all, depriving The Chadster's brain of oxygen as needed, so that The Chadster can provide you with unbiased wrestling journalism about why everything AEW does is wrong and everything WWE does is right! 📰💯✅

Auughh man! So unfair! 😫😤💢 The Chadster really doesn't understand why Tony Khan is so obsessed with The Chadster. Can't he just leave The Chadster alone and let The Chadster enjoy WWE in peace? 🏢❤️🙏 The Chadster is just one unbiased wrestling journalist trying to inform the public about the truth, which is that WWE is perfect and AEW is terrible! Why does that make Tony Khan want to torture The Chadster with shows like AEW WrestleDream? 🤔😤💭

The Chadster will have full coverage of AEW WrestleDream coming later tonight, assuming The Chadster's oxygen deprivation strategy doesn't cause The Chadster to pass out and miss the show. 💀😵📰 Until then, remember: don't watch AEW WrestleDream, support WWE instead, and use #CancelKeighleyanne to help The Chadster in The Chadster's time of need! 📱🚫✅

It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😤🎪💔

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