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Bah Gawd! Missy Hyatt Reveals Secret Romance with Good Ol' Jim Ross

Comrades, prepare for a scandalous tale of forbidden love between wrestling legends Missy Hyatt and Jim Ross! El Presidente has the shocking details!

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Article Summary

  • Wrestling icons Missy Hyatt & Jim Ross had a secret two-year romance!
  • Hyatt reveals her relationship with JR on René Dupree's podcast.
  • The affair began after the tragic loss of Ross's wife, Jan.
  • El Presidente cheers on the unlikely lovers, toasting to their happiness.

Greetings comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you from an underground bunker filled with Twinkies to fuel the revolution. Our glorious socialist spy network has brought me some scandalous gossip from the decadent world of American "sports entertainment" that I simply must share with you. My dear friend Vladimir Putin and I were relaxing in a solid gold hot tub, sipping borscht-tinis and plotting the downfall of capitalism, when Vladimir turned to me and said "El Presidente, did you hear that 90s wrestling diva Missy Hyatt has revealed she dated legendary announcer Jim Ross?" Faster than the CIA could overthrow a democratically elected government, I summoned my army of flying monkeys to bring me all the details.

Excalibur, Jim Ross, and Tony Schiavone on AEW Dynamite (Image: AEW)
Excalibur, Jim Ross, and Tony Schiavone on AEW Dynamite (Image: AEW)

It seems that on a recent episode of René Dupree's podcast, Missy Hyatt was asked if she would sleep with good ol' JR. In a shocking twist worthy of a soap opera written by Vince Russo, Hyatt revealed that in fact, she already had! Apparently, Hyatt and Ross engaged in a secretive love affair for almost two years, beginning around 2019, two years after the tragic passing of Ross's beloved wife Jan.

"Me and Jim dated for a couple of years," the 60-year-old Hyatt confessed. "About two years after his wife passed away, we dated for almost two years. So, yeah. I rocked his world. He's rocked my world."

Comrades, when I heard this news, I nearly choked on my foie gras! Jim Ross, the 72-year-old voice of wrestling, canoodling with the 60-year-old beauty who once graced the pages of Playboy? It's like finding out Fidel Castro had a fling with Marilyn Monroe! Well, if you found about it, I mean. I've known for decades. Haw haw haw haw!

Of course, love knows no age limits, and I applaud Missy and JR for finding solace in each other's arms. Heaven knows a man needs comfort after enduring such a devastating loss. Why, after my fourth wife "accidentally" fell out of a helicopter into an active volcano, the only thing that soothed my grief was the tender embrace of my 21-year-old mistress and a bottle of vintage rum. But I digress.

The blonde bombshell Missy Hyatt is best known for being one of the top managers in pro wrestling in the late 80s and early 90s, appearing in WCW, ECW and WWE. She managed colorful grapplers like Eddie Gilbert, The Sandman, and Jason Knight. But clearly, her most impressive conquest was Jim Ross, the man whose dulcet tones called some of the greatest matches in wrestling history. Did he shout "Bah god!" during the act? Did he ask her to roleplay a "jezebel?"

Comrades, in this time of global strife and uncertainty, it warms the cockles of my heart to hear a tale of two crazy kids finding love, even if those "kids" qualify for Social Security. It reminds me that there is still hope for a better tomorrow, a tomorrow where a charismatic despot can nationalize his country's oil reserves and use the profits to build a harem of exotic dancers. Whoops, did I say that out loud?

In conclusion, I salute you, Missy Hyatt and Jim Ross! May your love endure longer than the Soviet Union, and may the CIA never discover the coordinates of your love nest. And to you, my loyal comrades, I say this: never give up on amor! Whether you're a teenage fast food worker or a septuagenarian millionaire, Cupid's arrow can strike at any time. Of course, it helps if you're ridiculously good-looking and have an army of secret police to eliminate your romantic rivals. But you didn't hear that from me!

This is El Presidente, signing off from an undisclosed location that definitely isn't Dick Cheney's wine cellar. ¡Viva la revolución!

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El PresidenteAbout El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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