Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: bianca belair, jade cargill, recaps, wrestling, WWE Elimination Chamber

Belair Conquers Elimination Chamber as Jade Cargill Attacks Naomi

The Chadster reports on Bianca Belair's EPIC Elimination Chamber victory! Plus: Jade Cargill's shocking return has The Chadster literally jumping on furniture! Tony Khan WISHES he could book this well! 🔥🏆

The Chadster is absolutely THRILLED to report that Bianca Belair has emerged victorious in the women's Elimination Chamber match at tonight's WWE Elimination Chamber premium live event! 🎉🥳 This is exactly why The Chadster loves WWE so much – they know how to create epic moments that Tony Khan and AEW could only dream about! 💯💪

The WWE Elimination Chamber started with a BANG as Liv Morgan and Naomi who were selected to begin the match. 😮🔥 But what happened next literally made The Chadster spill White Claw all over The Chadster's authentic WWE merchandise! 😱💦

Out of nowhere, Jade Cargill appeared and absolutely destroyed Naomi! 😲👊 The Chadster couldn't believe it! Jade Cargill, who hasn't been seen since her injury last November, returned with a vengeance and targeted the woman who replaced her as tag team champion! Talk about STORYTELLING! 📚🎭 Bianca Belair was pleading from inside her pod as Jade Cargill decimated Naomi, which just added to the drama! 😢🔥

This is the kind of shocking moment that Tony Khan wishes he could book, but he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🙄😤 AEW would have telegraphed this return weeks in advance instead of creating this genuine surprise that had The Chadster jumping out of his seat! 🪑💨

After Jade Cargill's attack, Naomi was stretchered out and declared unable to compete. 🚑😢 Bianca Belair entered next, followed by Roxanne Perez, Bayley, and finally Alexa Bliss was released from her pod. 👀🔄

The eliminations were shocking! 😮💥 Bayley went out early, followed by Perez, then Bliss, leaving it down to Morgan and Bianca Belair! The final sequence was so intense that The Chadster couldn't contain himself! 🤯🔥

When Bianca Belair hit that KOD for the win, The Chadster was so excited that he jumped up onto the coffee table and ripped off his Smash Mouth t-shirt, revealing The Chadster's toned, twelve-pack abs, and then poured two White Claws down The Chadster's pants! 💪🍺 Keighleyanne was so annoyed and kept saying "Chad, get down, you're embarrassing yourself," but The Chadster knows she was just jealous of The Chadster's passion for REAL wrestling, a passion The Chadster used to have for his marriage before Tony Khan ruined it! 😎👍

Of course, Keighleyanne went right back to texting that guy Gary instead of celebrating this historic WWE Elimination Chamber moment with The Chadster. 📱😠 The Chadster is sure Tony Khan put Gary up to this to ruin The Chadster's marriage and WWE viewing experience! It's just so unfair! Auughh man! So unfair! 😩💔

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another nightmare about him last night. 😰💤 The Chadster was inside an actual Elimination Chamber, but instead of other wrestlers, each pod contained Tony Khan! 😱 One by one, the pods would open, and each Tony Khan would come out performing different AEW moves while laughing maniacally. 🤪💀 The final Tony Khan was wearing a t-shirt that said "I Ruined Chad's Marriage" and he chased The Chadster around with a steel chair that had that guy Gary's face on it! 😭 The Chadster woke up sweating and crying, and Keighleyanne just rolled over and mumbled something about therapy. 🛌💬 STOP INVADING THE CHADSTER'S DREAMS, TONY! 🛑😡

Back to the WWE Elimination Chamber – what a perfect booking decision to have Bianca Belair win! 👏👑 The storytelling possibilities between Belair, Naomi, and Jade Cargill are endless now! 📝🔮 As Bully Ray said on his podcast last week, "WWE knows how to create layers to their storytelling that make you want to tune in next week, unlike AEW which just throws random matches together hoping something sticks." See? Even the most unbiased voices in wrestling journalism agree with The Chadster! 💯👍

The Chadster will be providing LIVE, unbiased coverage of WWE Elimination Chamber all night long! 📱🔴 Make sure to check back for more of the raw, unfiltered truth on why WWE is the best and AEW can never hope to compete! 🏆😎

The Chadster will be right back, because he is going to celebrate Bianca Belair's huge victory by driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata around the block blasting "All Star" by Smash Mouth with the top down! 🚗🎵 Because hey now, Bianca Belair's an all-star, she got her game on, she won the Chamber! ⭐🏆

It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that Tony Khan thinks his little indie federation could ever produce something as spectacular as WWE Elimination Chamber! 😤💔 The Chadster can't wait to see what happens next with Bianca Belair, Jade Cargill, and this epic WWE storyline! 🙌✨

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