Bobby Lashley Retains WWE Championship Against Miz on WWE Raw

This week on WWE Raw, The Miz got his rematch for the WWE Championship against Bobby Lashley. Miz lost the title to Lashley in the main event of Raw last week just weeks after winning it from Drew McIntyre at Elimination Chamber. The Miz, it seemed, was destined to be only a transitional champion. So he was in a more serious than usual mood when he arrived in the ring to cut a promo ahead of his match.

Drew McIntyre watches Bobby Lashley kick The Miz's ass on WWE Raw
Drew McIntyre watches Bobby Lashley kick The Miz's ass on WWE Raw

"I stand in this ring empty-handed because Bobby Lashley is the new WWE Champion," said Miz. "Last week, did I expect to get my ass handed to me by Bobby Lashley?"

"Yeah," Morrison replied.

"Correct," said Miz.

"Did I expected to lose my WWE Championship?"

No," said Morrison.

"Correct," said Miz.

But, Miz explained, despite being a model employee for all these years, despite fulfilling all the duties of his contract, despite defending the WWE Championship and retaining it via countout, as per the rules, despite having a bad case of cramps, Shane McMahon still forced him to defend the title a second time, and then he lost.

Miz hoped to rectify that in his rematch, which was the first match of the show. From our Raw report (look for it later), here's how it went down:

The Miz vs. Bobby Lashley – WWE Championship Match

Bobby Lashley has a sick new entrance, with gold lightning bolts striking the stage (eat your heart out, Tony Khan) and an upgraded "All Mighty" Titantron. It's hard to get a good look at it, but I'm pretty sure The Miz is growing a third nipple. Miz tries to play this match smart, avoiding Lashley and playing mind games. But Lashley is way too much for The Miz. He kicks Miz's ass easily and makes him tap to the Hurt Lock.

Winner: Bobby Lashley

That asskicking may have been even worse than last week. Long live this Lashley push!

So Lashley remains WWE Champion and can go on to a likely match with Drew McIntyre at WrestleMania, one that, hopefully, he'll win.

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About Jude Terror

A prophecy claims that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Unfortunately, nobody can tell when the comics industry has reached its "darkest days" because it somehow keeps finding new lows to sink to. No matter! Jude Terror stands vigilant, bringing the snarkiest of comic book and pro wrestling clickbait to the undeserving readers of Bleeding Cool.
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