Posted in: ABC, CBS, NBC, Opinion, TV | Tagged: colbert, opinion, the daily show, trump

Colbert, Kimmel, Meyers, Tomlinson, The Daily Show React to Trump Win

Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers, Taylor Tomlinson, and The Daily Show shared their reactions to Trump's win and what it means.

With about half the country excited to see what fascism looks like from an American perspective and the other half of the country rightfully frightened and angry over what the next four years are going to bring down upon them as Trump and his lackeys kick off their "revenge tour" in January, late-night had its chance to weigh in on Wednesday night. Here's a look at what Stephen Colbert had to say about the election results on CBS's The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, followed by Jimmy Kimmel's thoughts during ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Live! and Seth Meyers' response during NBC's Late Night with Seth Meyers. But first, we kick our coverage off with what "The Best Damn News Team Around" had to say… [UPDATE: We've added After Midnight host Taylor Tomlinson's full monologue below].

Here's a look at what Desi Lydic and Comedy Central's The Daily Show had to offer about the election results, followed by clips from Colbert, Kimmel, and Meyers:

"Hey there. How're you doing? If you watch this show regularly, I'm guessing you're not doing great. Yeah, me neither," Colbert shared with his viewers in a special message. "You know, today some people said to me, 'Sorry, you have to do a show tonight.' Which is nice of them to say, but I don't have to do a show; I get to do a show tonight." Colbert continued by making the point that not being alone and being with others you love and trust was more important now than ever before, sharing his appreciation for "all of these talented people, those people over here, the people that you'll never see with the audience in the [Ed Sullivan Theater], with you people at home. Especially at times like this, what do we most want to be? Not alone. So thanks for being here." Colbert ended by letting his viewers know that the late-night show still plans on being the show it always is, even in light of what's to come. "There'll be jokes because that's what we do," he added. "And I'll let you in on a little secret. No one gets into this business because everything in their life worked out great, so were built for rough roads. You guys ready?"

"Let's be honest. It was a terrible night last night. It was a terrible night for women, for children, for the hundreds of thousands of hard-working immigrants who make this country go for health care, for our climate, for science, for journalism, for justice, for free speech. It was a terrible night for poor people, for the middle class, for seniors who rely on Social Security, for our allies in Ukraine, for NATO, for the truth and democracy and decency,'"Kimmel shared during his opening. "It was a terrible night for everyone who voted against him. And guess what? It was a bad night for everyone who voted for him, too. You just don't realize it yet."

"Donald Trump has been very clear about what he will do when he returns to power: military style roundups of migrants, using the power of the state to crush his opponents and pursue his grievances, eliminating the Department of Education, letting climate change run rampant, spreading conspiracy theories about health care and vaccines. He said he would be a dictator on day one," Meyers shared. "The question now is, what will the rest of us be doing on day one? If you're one of the tens of millions of Americans who said no to Trump's dark, dangerous vision for America last night, now is the time to stand in solidarity with our friends, with our neighbors, with the vulnerable communities, and begin the hard work of making real the world we want to live in. That's what we will be doing on day one. We do hope you'll join us. The clock is ticking."

But perhaps the best – and most personal perspective – came from Tomlinson and her opening to Wednesday night's show:

"I'm Taylor Tomlinson. Welcome to the show. First off, elephant in the room, I am sorry if it's your birthday today. That sucks. A lot of people today feel shell-shocked and depressed and can't believe they have to go to work. Me too. That's what's going on here. But I will say it is an honor to be on television while women are still allowed to be.

"How did everyone sleep last night? I mean, seriously, which sedatives did you take? I personally took a sleeping pill and then ate a family-sized bag of jelly beans. And then, I'm not kidding. I started re watching 'Game of Thrones' to calm down. I was like, Maybe this will give me some perspective. Just desperately trying to get myself back to 2011. Remember 2011, back when Joe Rogan wasn't helping people decide elections? He was just helping people decide if they were gonna eat bugs for money. Remember that?

I've been watching this TikTok on a loop all morning.

"Was that too dark? Like the energy in here was like, 'Fuck, that would be nice.' Like, it wasn't even funny at all. Everybody was like, 'Wouldn't it be nice to be somewhere else and something else?' Like, nobody in here had fun with that at all. Me neither. Oh, my God.

"We had been preparing in advance for today's show, and we assumed we wouldn't know the results of the election yet, but we do have the results. A second Donald Trump presidency. And I know people have said this before, but reboot culture has gone too far, and I say that as the host of a show that was rebooted.

"Why does he have to be president? Usually, when you're reintegrating an ex con back into society, you just have to let them work at Baskin Robbins, I understand why, if you did that job.

"I'm honestly, really mad. I'm mad at everyone who comforted me the last week and told me it was gonna be okay. I'm mad at myself for believing this wouldn't happen. I'm mad at CBS for hiring me so that I cannot immediately leave the country. It's a lot of misplaced anger right now. I personally couldn't look away from the news, but some people were able to keep busy. Just look at this screenshot someone tweeted of a text exchange they had with a friend around the time Trump won Pennsylvania.

"'Oh, my God, I know Anora was so good. Wait, what?' Is that as dark or darker than the cow video? What do you think? I choose to believe that this person isn't uninformed and ignorant. They're just turning to film for comfort, which, yeah, I get that. Hell, I'm gonna be camped out at the AMC all weekend, crying at the Nicole Kidman ad. Like, 'We do need that, all of us.'

"When the numbers started rolling in, and it was looking rough for the Harris campaign, I could see the stress on news anchors' faces. You know how when you're on an airplane, and there's turbulence, you look to the flight attendants to see if they're scared, or if they're just like, chilling on their phones, getting shaken up a little bit? Looking at these news anchors was like, 'Oh, great, we're crash landing in hell. Cool, awesome.' And then I switched over to Fox News to see what the tone was like over there, and they were all just lighting fireworks and kissing each other on the mouth with tongue.

"So it was a huge night for Republicans. They also took the Senate, and a lot of the news media is asking if a Republican Senate will keep Trump in check, which feels like asking the getaway driver of a bank robbery, 'So you're gonna make sure they spend the money wisely, right? You're gonna save half for taxes and donate to sustainable charities, right?'

"A lot of people want solutions, so they're posting today about what we can do to move forward, and I think that's valuable. But also, let's take a fucking second to be sad. If your friend dies, you go to the funeral, and you say, 'I really miss my friend.' You don't go to the funeral and immediately scream, 'Volunteer at the library!' Like, yes, okay, I'll volunteer at the library, but let me bury democracy first."

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