Danhausen Joining AEW at Beach Break Is a Slap in the Face to WWE
Once again, AEW has expanded its roster, adding internet sensation Danhausen, and The Chadster is just so cheesed off about it! Danhausen made his AEW debut during last night's episode of Dynamite, Beach Break. The main event match was a Lights Out match between Adam Cole and Orange Cassidy, and during the match, Cole pulled Danhausen out from underneath the ring while looking for weapons, to the delight of the crowd in Cleveland, Ohio. Shortly after, Tony Khan announced that Danhausen is officially All Elite.
Here's why The Chadster is so cheesed off. First of all, how insulting is it to WWE that Tony Khan keeps signing former Ring of Honor stars when all the recently fired WWE talent is right there! Is Tony Khan trying to say that AEW wouldn't be lucky to have WWE's castoffs? That's so disrespectful to Vince McMahon and everything he's done for the wrestling business. Plus, if there's one thing The Chadster can't stand, it's someone who commits so fully to a completely ridiculous fake persona.
On top of that, it happened during a match featuring Adam Cole, who as you all know stabbed WWE in the back when he chose to sign with AEW, so that was just like rubbing salt in the wound. And Orange Cassidy beat Cole in the match, an outcome that was obviously designed to force The Chadster to remember how AEW Dynamite chased The Chadster's beloved WWE NXT off Wednesday nights by bullying them in the ratings, which made The Chadster become sexually impotent, which as you can imagine is a really painful subject. And to top it all off, it happened on an episode of Dynamite that was so entertaining, which just shows that Tony Khan doesn't understand the wrestling business at all. The Royal Rumble is happening this weekend. How dare AEW try to upstage WWE? Auughh man! So unfair!
In addition to the Lights Out match, Dynamite opened with a Ladder Match to unify the TNT Championship and the Interim TNT Championship. Sammy Guevara surprisingly beat Cody Rhodes in what many people are calling one of the greatest ladder matches ever, which makes The Chadster absolutely want to puke. Other notable events included Wardlow winning a squash match, MJF and the Pinnacle beating down CM Punk after a promo battle that also continued to build toward an eventual face turn for Wardlow, Chris Jericho helping his teammates in the Inner Circle get the win over Daniel Garcia and 2point0 even though the Inner Circle refused to tag Jericho in all match due to tensions in the group, Leyla Hirsch getting a hellish win over Red Velvet, and Britt Baker insulting the Cleveland Browns a bunch. The Chadster was so infuriated that he immediately went out to the garage and downed three White Claw seltzers, and let The Chadster tell you, he's still feeling that today nearly 24 hours later. Thanks a lot, Tony Khan!
Now The Chadster is just waiting for his beloved WWE Royal Rumble to take place later this week, but first he has to get through an episode of AEW Rampage on Friday which could ruin The Chadster's entire weekend. Once again, The Chadster hated everything about AEW Dynamite, and it's The Chadster who has truly been Beach Broken, but that's how Tony Khan planned it because he has a personal vendetta against The Chadster, and that's the bottom line 'cause The Chadster said so.
Please don't watch these highlights from AEW Dynamite: Beach Break.
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