Dave Bautista Shocked by Vladimir Putin Nobel Peace Prize Nomination

WWE wrestler and Hollywood megastar Dave Bautista was shocked and perplexed Thursday after learning that Russian President Vladimir Putin has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. Putin joins his friend and ally President Donald Trump in this year's group of nominees, upsetting The Animal, who has long been involved in a feud with his fellow WWE Hall-of-Famer, President Trump. Bautista took to Twitter to write, "Cmon! Wtf is happening?!!"

Dave Bautista at the Los Angeles premiere of 'Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2' held at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, USA on April 19, 2017. Editorial credit: Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com
Dave Bautista at the Los Angeles premiere of 'Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2' held at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, USA on April 19, 2017. Editorial credit: Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com

What Dave Bautista may not realize is that it isn't really hard to nominate just about anyone for the Nobel Peace Prize. The Nobel Committee's website lists the criteria for being able to nominate someone for a Nobel Peace Prize as follows:

  • Members of national assemblies and national governments (cabinet members/ministers) of sovereign states as well as current heads of states
  • Members of The International Court of Justice in The Hague and The Permanent Court of Arbitration in The Hague
  • Members of l'Institut de Droit International
  • Members of the international board of the Women's International League for Peace and Freedom
  • University professors, professors emeriti and associate professors of history, social sciences, law, philosophy, theology, and religion; university rectors and university directors (or their equivalents); directors of peace research institutes and foreign policy institutes
  • Persons who have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize
  • Members of the main board of directors or its equivalent of organizations that have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize
  • Current and former members of the Norwegian Nobel Committee (proposals by current members of the Committee to be submitted no later than at the first meeting of the Committee after 1 February)
  • Former advisers to the Norwegian Nobel Committee

What should we take away from all this? Well, it means that all we need is one Bleeding Cool reader out there to be a member of one of the groups listed above and we get our own candidate nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. Surely that's at least one university professor who reads Bleeding Cool, right? Or maybe a head of state? Kim Jong Un is said to be a big fan of our weekly X-Men recap column.

As to who we would nominate, the answer is clear: Dave Bautista. Here's the reasoning: Dave Bautista supplies an endless wealth of clickbait article material, which allows Bleeding Cool to write an endless stream of clickbait articles, which provides an endless amount of clickbait article material for people to read, which keeps them from doing other things, like fighting and killing each other. Therefore, Dave Bautista is promoting world peace. He has also saved me personally from numerous beatdowns by Bleeding Cool Editor-in-Chief Kaitlyn Booth, who has been known to threaten me with physical violence if I fail to produce an adequate number of clickbait articles featuring tweets by Dave Bautista. [Editor's Note: Jude is exaggerating. I don't punish people who do their jobs.] 

About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!

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