Posted in: BBC, Doctor Who, TV | Tagged: bbc, communism, doctor who, jodie whittaker, russell t davies, the crown

Doctor Who: How Anti-Woke "Fan" Would Argue Show Is Communist Plot

Doctor Who is a popular show that's all things to all people, so we imagined how an anti-woke "fan" would argue the show's a Communist plot.

We're all Doctor Who fans. We agree on that, right? Every Doctor has fans. It's a show that's always been progressive with good intentions. It's always been anti-fascist because its creators survived World War II. It's been accused by right-wingers of having a gay, woke agenda. We're all used to that by now. But what if Doctor Who was a Communist plot? To answer that question, we decided to have a little fun "imagining" what a questionable Doctor Who "fan" might have to say in their "conspiracy" rant. While it's just us having a little "What If…?" fun, we think you'll see just how much of what you're about to read rings true in the real world.

Well, that one's new. We like to hear all opinions. Then make fun of them. But we need to hear this one first. We were approached by a longtime fan of Doctor Who. Granted, he's one of those hardcore fans who think the old show was better and "purer," who doesn't like the more emotional post-Buffy version that came back in 2005. He's not big on romances on Doctor Who. He's not into the kissin' and stuff. But he approached us with something bigger in mind.

"Hear me out," he cried – for it was a "he'. "Forget China! I have come to the realization that the United Kingdom is the one true Communist country in the World!"

Sorry, what? Colour us intrigued. You know how you encounter the occasional drunk in the pub who has something to say that's so far in orbit you just have to hear it? In this case, our fanboy, let's call him "Wally B. Knutkase," was sober, if a bit foamy at the mouth, and insisted that everyone should hear what he had to say. He had in his eyes the look of a man who has seen a ghost, or a UFO, or an alien. Kind of like a bystander character on Doctor Who, really, the kind Russell T. Davies likes to write.

The Truth About England!

"The definition of Communism is that all property is owned by the state," he said. "No private property ownership. Did you know that literally all the property, all the land in the United Kingdom is owned by the Crown?"

You mean like the Royal Family?

"The same!" he said. "Nobody really owns their land or property in the United Kingdom. It's leased to them by the Crown. The title deeds say it's either 20 years or 50 years or 100 hundred years or Freehold, which means in perpetuity, but technically, the Crown can take back their property at the end of the lease!"

Has the Crown ever seized anyone's land in the last hundred years?

"No, but that's not the point! Don't you see, the United Kingdom is Communist!"

What does that have to do with Doctor Who?

"Doctor Who is state propaganda!"

Pushing Communism? Where?

"Don't you know that all TV shows that are approved for production are by default propaganda?"

We stopped to think on it. If anything, Doctor Who has been propaganda encouraging tourism to the United Kingdom.

Doctor Who: So What About UNIT?

"The show even has its own Top Secret government military unit that works with The Doctor! I can't believe I was a fan of UNIT!"

But UNIT was designed for little boys to think a military unit was cool. It's the image of an army representing the State defending England from alien threats.

"And I bought into it! I was one of those little boys!"

But you're also a fan of James Bond, who's a government agent, and we don't know if you noticed, but UNIT is kind of dumb. They've always been kind of dumb. That's their one job. They always try to shoot the alien menace, but that doesn't work, and the Doctor berates them for being idiots who just want to shoot everything.

"Stop ruining my argument!"

Your argument is the show is Communist propaganda. We're missing that. If anything, the Doctor is a pacifist hippie.

"And it's going to be on Disney+! That's being spread to every child in the world!"

So you're saying a show that encourages kids to be curious, kind, tolerant, brave, funny and smart is a bad thing?

"It's propaganda!" he insisted.

Yes, propaganda telling viewers to be good people who don't rush to violence.

"But it's Communist!"

Where in the show does The Doctor ever demand that all private property be abolished and controlled by the State?

He was stumped, then spluttered, "On Jodie Whittaker's first season, there was an episode about a space hospital that was like a celebration of the National Health Service."

Well, the National Health Service is more of a socialist thing, not Communist. It's why the Tory government has been trying to destroy it for over sixty years. The Doctor brought down one Prime Minister, and another craven Prime Minister agreed to manufacture Daleks and got killed by them. That's hardly a pro-Establishment stance for Doctor Who.

Wally sputtered and seemed to lose steam. He just insisted that the show was Communist propaganda just because it was made by a country that he said was Communist, never mind that Doctor Who is a piece of intellectual property owned by the BBC.

So what are we supposed to do? We asked. Boycott? Sign petitions? Stop watching the show?

"God, no!" he cried. "What are we supposed to do without Doctor Who?"

And he wandered off, shaking his head sadly. He's not going to stop Watching Doctor Who, and neither are we. What a Wally. The only takeaway we got is that Doctor Who can be everything to everybody, including Communist, apparently, if you want it to be.

Doctor Who will be back on Disney+ next November if you want your fix for the propaganda of… whatever you want.

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