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Fire 'N Flava Fest, More Set for Impact Wrestling Next Week

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Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from inside the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Arlington National Cemetary. My good friend Joe Biden wanted me to be a part of his inauguration, but we both agreed that it would probably be best if Mitch McConnell and the other Republicans didn't see me, so here we are. But the reason I am here is not to gloat about how I successfully rigged the election for Joe. No, your El Presidente is here for something equally important: to tell you about all the things Impact Wrestling has planned for the show next week.

The official logo of Impact Wrestling.
The official logo of Impact Wrestling.

The big draw happening on Impact next week is Fire 'N Flava Fest, the official celebration of Tasha Steelz and Kiera Hogan's victory in the Knockouts Tag Team Championship Tournament at Hard to Kill. If you thought Biden's inauguration was a blast with Lady Gaga and J-Lo and G-Bush in attendance, just wait until you see Fire 'N Flava fest, amigos!

Also planned for next week, Eddie Edwards will face Brian Myers in a match after Myers had the nerve to call Eddie a backyard wrestler. In addition, Ace Austin and Madman Fulton will take on the team of Josh Alexander and Matt Cardona, two former enemies who found common ground in hating Austin and Fulton. Joe Doering will take on Cousin Jake in a one-on-one match, as if we are to believe no one from either side will get involved. Finally, Tenille Dashwood will take on Rosemary on Impact Wrestling next week.

Now, your El Presidente must go, both to help President Biden compose his first executive orders, and also to get ready to recap AEW Dynamite tonight. Until next time, my friends: socialism or death.

My friends, one day, the capitalist scum who run Bleeding Cool will all die like dogs, but until then, El Presidente must comply with their demands that I include SEO keyword-rich boilerplate text about Impact at the bottom of this article, so here it is, comrades.

Impact Wrestling, the successor to the great legacy of TNA Wrestling, airs weekly on AXS TV on Tuesdays at 8PM Eastern. Impact also streams live at that same time on Twitch, with commercials replaced by classic TNA moments or chats with Melissa Santos. Impact also offers a monthly subscription service, Impact Plus, that offers access to replays of Impact, monthly Impact Plus exclusive quasi-PPV events, and access to the illustrious TNA tape library. Impact PPV events and Impact Plus can also be purchased and viewed on the Fite TV app.

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El PresidenteAbout El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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