Floribama Shore Season 4 E22 Review: Hurricane Tori Comes A-Calling

¡Hola, mi amigos! It is I, your El Presidente, the greatest authoritarian dictator the world has ever seen and if I do say so myself, a fine reviewer of the best trashy reality television. Today, comrades, it is my mission to tell you about all the drama that happened on this week's episode of MTV's Floribama Shore. But sadly, Floribama Shore Season 4 Episode 22 "Yardi Gras" was little more than the proverbial cock tease, which is a kind of game we play in my country where we bully somebody with a rooster.

Floribama Shore Season 4 Episode 9 Review: Hurricane Tori
Floribama Shore screencap

The teaser for this episode that played during the last episode focused on a visit from Kirk's friends from Atlanta, and in particular two women, both named Tori, who were basically put on this Earth to have sex with Gus. Unfortunately, the teaser for next week's episode… also focused on that. But before we get to that, here's what did happen.

As the roommates (sans Nilsa) wrapped up their camping trip, Gus and Jeremiah were paired for a game of egg toss, which they won. And when the roommates organized a game where everyone goes around in a circle and says something nice about the other roommates, Gus complimented Jeremiah's discipline, while Jeremiah complimented Gus's hair, which is funny, because that's the same thing Putin chose to compliment about Donald Trump at the latest annual dictators retreat. And comrades… he didn't really mean it either! Haw haw haw haw! Jeremiah will never forgive Gus!

Floribama Shore Season 4 Episode 9 Review: Hurricane Tori
Floribama Shore screencap

After that, Kirk randomly wondered if the group had missed Mardi Gras, which they had, so he invited his friends to visit the house from Atlanta, which was totally on the spot because it's not like they probably had to quarantine for two weeks before visiting the house or anything. Three of Kirk's friends visited, but the only ones that concern us here are Blond Tori and Brunette Tori, both of whom had major crushes on Gus.

Gus spent most of the episode talking about how he would definitely not cheat with the two Tori's because he loves his girlfriend at home, which is definitely the kind of thing someone who isn't going to cheat on their girlfriend would say. Gus's resolve was so strong that he had no problem getting in the hot tub with both Torries, despite his infected toe. But this is the COVID era of MTV reality shows, which means a single day must be stretched to at least three episodes. As a result, Yardi Gras ended early, without Gus cheating on his girlfriend, and with the teaser for next week's episode promising it again.

Floribama Shore Season 4 Episode 9 Review: Hurricane Tori

It's hard to blame MTV or los producers for this when the fact is that most of the appeal of these shows is seeing the drunken, classless partiers interact with normals in the real world. Unfortunately, the COVID-19 pandemic prevents that from happening, so instead MTV films these weird isolation seasons and then struggles to make the drama stretch for an entire half-season. Don't get me wrong, comrades. This Gus storyline shows promise. But the pacing is all off.

Until next time: socialism or death!

Floribama Shore Season 4 Episode 22 "Yardi Gras"

Floribama Shore Season 4 Episode 9 Review: Hurricane Tori
Review by El Presidente

4/10
It's hard to blame MTV or the producers for this when the fact is that most of the appeal of these shows is seeing the drunken, classless partiers interact with normals in the real world. Unfortunately, the COVID-19 pandemic prevents that from happening, so instead MTV films these weird isolation seasons (as with Floribama Shore) and then struggles to make the drama stretch for an entire half-season.

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About El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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