Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW double or nothing, Hurt Syndicate, mjf, recaps, wrestling

Hurt Syndicate Retains with Help from MJF at AEW Double or Nothing

The Chadster is back with more AEW Double or Nothing coverage! Hurt Syndicate's win with MJF was so cheesed off that The Chadster bloodied his nose again! 😤🩸

Greetings, true wrestling fans! 👋 The Chadster is back with more live coverage of AEW Double or Nothing, where the Hurt Syndicate defended the AEW World Tag Team Championship, and boy oh boy, does The Chadster have some thoughts about what just transpired! 😠🤬 But first, let The Chadster update you fine readers on The Chadster's condition since the last report! 🩹✨

After Mercedes Moné winning the Owen Hart Tournament got The Chadster so cheesed off that The Chadster dove off the coffee table and bloodied The Chadster's nose, things have been looking up! 📈🙌 The Chadster chugged several White Claws in rapid succession (nothing beats that crisp, clean taste when you're dealing with Tony Khan-induced trauma! 🍻), and Keighleyanne gave The Chadster a stern lecture about "taking responsibility for your actions" and "not blaming everything on wrestling promoters." 🙄💬 Clearly, she doesn't understand that Tony Khan is literally orchestrating every bad thing that happens to The Chadster! 😤🎭

Since then, AEW Double or Nothing has continued to assault The Chadster's sensibilities! 😵‍💫💥 FTR defeated Daniel Garcia and Nigel McGuinness, which was just Tony Khan's way of showing off his "tag team division depth" or whatever 🙄📺, and Ricochet beat Mark Briscoe in some bloody, violent stretcher match! 🩸🚑 As everyone who understands the first thing about the wrestling business knows, violence has absolutely no place in wrestling! 😡⚔️ WWE would never subject their audience to such barbaric displays – they understand that wrestling should be family-friendly entertainment, not this hardcore garbage that AEW keeps pushing! 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦✨

But nothing – and The Chadster means NOTHING – prepared The Chadster for the absolute travesty that was the AEW Double or Nothing World Tag Team Championship match! 😱🏆

The Hurt Syndicate (MVP, Bobby Lashley, and Shelton Benjamin) retained their titles against The Sons of Texas (Dustin Rhodes and Sammy Guevara), and it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😠🚫 These three legends literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining Tony Khan's circus instead of staying on WWE Raw where they belonged! 🔪💔 They could have been jobbing to Austin Theory or Logan Paul – now THAT would have been prestigious! 🌟🥇 Instead, they're holding championships in this indie-adjacent promotion that doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🤦‍♂️📉

The match itself was an overcomplicated mess with MJF getting involved and all this tension about whether he'd be accepted into the Hurt Syndicate after finally getting accepted last week! 🎭😵 Auughh man! So unfair! 😤💢 PPV matches should be simple stories, like who stole CM Punk's friendship bracelet or other genius WWE ideas! 💡🏅 Tony Khan thinks he's so smart with his "nuanced storytelling" and "character development," but real wrestling fans want straightforward booking that doesn't make them think too hard! 🧠❌

The action was just typical AEW garbage – all these high spots and athletic moves when what people really want is good old-fashioned WWE-style sports entertainment! 🎪🎯 Bobby Lashley was throwing Sammy Guevara around like a ragdoll, Shelton Benjamin was hitting those crisp suplexes, and Dustin Rhodes was doing his vintage moves, but it all felt so wrong in an AEW ring! 😞💔 These men should be elevating WWE's product, not legitimizing Tony Khan's vanity project! 🎭🚫

And don't even get The Chadster started on MJF's involvement! 😡🎪 All this drama about whether Bobby Lashley would accept his help, the tension, the eventual acceptance – it's just too complicated for a PPV match! 🤯📚 WWE knows how to book simple, effective storytelling that doesn't require viewers to remember months of character development! 🎬✨

As The Chadster sat there in The Chadster's Mazda Miata-colored recliner, watching this AEW Double or Nothing travesty unfold, The Chadster got so cheesed off that The Chadster started smashing The Chadster's face repeatedly into the coffee table! 😵💥 Blood started gushing from The Chadster's nose and several lacerations, spattering all over the room, the TV, and poor Keighleyanne! 🩸📺 Then, all those White Claws The Chadster had consumed earlier to deal with the previous nosebleed came right back up! 🤮🍻 Now, thanks to Tony Khan's booking decisions, The Chadster is right back where The Chadster started – bloody, nauseous, and thoroughly disgusted, and the Chadster's wife and more importantly television are covered in blood and vomit! 😤💔

Eric Bischoff said it best on his podcast: "Tony Khan just doesn't understand that wrestling should be accessible to casual fans, not these complex narratives that require a PhD in AEW lore to understand. In my day, we kept it simple and drew money." 🎙️💰 The man has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval for a reason! ✅🏆

The Chadster will be back with more live coverage of AEW Double or Nothing just as soon as The Chadster gets this nosebleed under control and Keighleyanne stops glaring at The Chadster! 🩹👀 So be sure to keep checking back on Bleeding Cool for more live coverage of AEW Double or Nothing and status updates on The Chadster's condition! 📱📺 Remember, Bleeding Cool is the home of unbiased wrestling journalism! 📰⚖️

Now, if you'll excuse The Chadster, The Chadster needs to find more White Claws and maybe put on some Smash Mouth to calm down! 🎵🍻 As they say, "The years start coming and they don't stop coming" – just like Tony Khan's personal attacks on The Chadster! 😤🎶

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