In part one of The Shovel: Impact Wrestling Edition this week, Rich Swann puts Eric Young behind him, and Brian Myers works out more wrestling daddy issues. We'll tell you all about it, but first…
I can't be the only one sick of the non-stop political crap on this website. Jude Terror has serious TDS. "Hey everyone…roided out wrestler with the IQ of a gnat gets political…next story @10!"
– BIeeding Cool commenter Irwin Fletcher
Irwin, I only had TDS that one time back in the 90s, and I'm positive I got it from a toilet seat. As for Dave Bautista, I think you're confusing him with the character he played in Guardians of the Galaxy. Dave Bautista has a moderately higher IQ than a gnat.
I'm Jude Terror, and this is The Shovel, the weekly wrestling recap column where I watch all the hours of wrestling on TV each week and tell you what happened so you can, like, spend time with your family or follow your dreams or whatever. You know, anything but this. Yeah, you're welcome.
Impact Wrestling Recap for October 27th, 2020 Part 1
Eric Young is beating the crap out of Rich Swann backstage as soon as Impact starts. See, this is what happens when you start posting who donated to which political candidates on Twitter. Conveniently, just as the show begins, Young decides to take the beatdown out onto the entrance ramp and down to the ring. Young stops to grab the belt and try to hit Swann with it, which is a bad move. Swann dodges and gets a chance to fight back.
After about five minutes of this, Scott D'Amore comes out with the buzzkill squad to break up this fight. Young screams that he wants a rematch, right now. "You work for me," he tells D'Amore. "That's not how it works," D'Amore responds. "God! Look at yourself!" Young says D'Amore, Impact, and everyone is against him. D'Amore calls Young his own worst enemy. "Get out of here! You're not gettin' your match!"
But Swann stops D'Amore. He wants the match right now. D'Amore asks if he's sure. Swann says, yes. They fist bump, and D'Amore makes it official.
Eric Young vs. Rich Swann – Impact World Championship Match
Rich Swann is wrestling this match barefoot because he was wearing dress shoes. Unfortunately for Eric Young, he seems to have peaked at Slammiversary. This match is all Swann, and he wins with the Phoenix Splash in five minutes.
Winner: Rich Swann
Josh Matthews and Madison Rayne now officially welcome us to the show and run through tonight's card: Tommy Dreamers vs. Brian Myers in a Hardcore Halloween match. The wedding of John E. Bravo and Rosemary. Do we even need anything other than that?
Neveah meets Havok outside a dressing room. She asks if "it's done." Havok says, "He's back. The wedding is on." Impact goes to COMMERCIALS. Unless you're watching on Twitch, like I am, then it's Melissa Santos talking to the simps in the Twitch chat.
All the women (and Kaleb with a K) are banging on Scott D'Amore's office door. Kaleb says they don't need to wait for Scott. The tag team tournament starts in two weeks. Alisha Edwards is looking for a partner, but everyone leaves her alone. Tasha Steelz and Kiera Hogan make fun of her. Jordynne Grace shows up to get Alisha's back. She'll tag with her tonight in a match against these two.
Brian Myers comes to the ring. Then Tommy Dreamer does. Myers already beat his wrestling daddy back at Victory Road, but he complained it was Old Man Tommy Dreamer and not the Innovator of Violence. Hate to tell you this, Brian, but Old Man Dreamer is all that's left.
Brian Myers vs. Tommy Dreamer – Halloween Hardcore Match
This is a hardcore match, so there are several garbage cans full of weapons. They beat each other with said weapons. One of the garbage cans is really heavy, or at least Dreamer and Myers sell it as being really heavy as they both struggle to get it into the ring. Then they forget about it for a while while they hit each other with the other weapons.
For a "Halloween" hardcore match, there's very little to do with Halloween here. Dreamer is wearing Road Warrior Animal facepaint, but he was wearing that at Bound for Glory too. Myers hits him at one point with a bag of apples, which Josh Matthews tries to claim is a Trick or Treat back. If someone puts apples in your trick or treat bag, you egg their house.
There's no real structure to this match. They just hit each other with moves until it's time for the finish, which is Dreamer dumping out a bag of candy corn and thumbtacks on the mat. Myers tries to superplex Dreamer into the candy corn and thumbtacks, but Dreamer bites him in the face and tosses him off the second turnbuckle through it.
Myers kicks out of a pin attempt, so Dreamer gets a table. But when he sets it up leaning in the corner, Myers slams him into the thumbtacks. But then Swoggle comes out of that heavy garbage can from earlier and squeezes Myers' balls with BBQ tongs. Dreamer suplexes him through the table and gets the win.
Winner: Tommy Dreamer
Gia Miller congratulates Rhino on winning the Call Your Shot gauntlet match. She asks when he's gonna call his shot. He says that he and Heath are gonna go for the Impact Tag Team Championships. Heath talks about the contract he's gonna get because Rhino won. Gia brings up the injury Heath seemed to incur at Bound for Glory. Heath denies he's hurt. So that's an angle then. Impact takes a COMMERCIAL BREAK.
Fallah Bahh is caught backstage by Reno Scum and Hernandez. Hernandez wants the money Fallah Bahh stole. He says he doesn't have the money anymore. Reno Scum rips off his shirt in case he's keeping it between his titties, but it's not there. Bahh says he gave the money to John E. Bravo. They leave, and he pulls the money out of his pants. Yuck!
XXXL head to the ring. Then the Rascalz do—time for another match.
XXXL vs. The Rascalz
Razcalz starts the match early, backflipping off the ropes where they're posing during their message and attacking XXXL. Not too much exciting about the middle of this match, but it ends with a frogsplash by Larry D onto Dez, which was pretty impressive.
Deonna Purrazzo and Kimber Lee are in Scott D'Amore's office, along with Deonna's "barrister" (an old-timey word for lawyer). He is threatening to sue Impact if D'Amore doesn't strip Su Yung of the Knockouts championship and give it back to Deonna. He says Scott has until the end of the night. D'Amore says Deonna has no leverage. But Scott will go to the ring right now and take care of this. He also insults the guy's suit as "off the rack." Let's be real here Scott, is anyone in Impact wearing tailored suits? I don't think so.
So will Deonna get her belt back? You can find out by clicking below to read part two of The Shovel: Impact Wrestling Edition.
This post is part of a multi-part series: The Shovel: Impact Wresting Edition for October 27th, 2020.
- Impact Recap – Tommy Dreamer Uses Candy Corn as a Deadly Weapon
- Impact Recap – Wrestling Wedding Ends in Shocking Tragedy