After teasing it all season, Jersey Shore finally delivered the first part of a blowout fight between Angelina and the other cast members in Jersey Shore: Family Vacation S05E21 "The Pool Party." The episode was shocking from the start, as the opening was changed, set to a generic techno beat instead of the classic Get Crazy by LMFAO that's been used as the theme song since the start of the OG Jersey Shore. Even stranger, somebody in the editing booth was feeling artistic this week, as the show opened "in media res," showing the cast fighting in a hotel room before flashing back hours earlier to show us how they got there for the rest of the episode.
Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, as always faithfully watching and criticizing my favorite television show, Jersey Shore: Family Vacation. In this episode, the cast traveled to San Diego for a pool party at a hotel organized by Pauly D. But when they got there, they found other ways to spend their time. First, Angelina, Snooki, Deena, Vinny, and J-Woww met in a hotel room to fight about Angelina's issues with J-Woww. Still fresh off her fight with Mike, J-Woww spent most of the discussion throwing him under the bus and blaming him for playing both sides in the dispute.
However, when Mike arrived, things took a slightly different turn. Where J-Woww alleged that Mike tried to get her to host a podcast where she would interview Angelina's ex-husband and sidepiece at the same time, Mike insisted that it was merely a joke between friends in their group chat and he would never actually go through with it. And while Jenni insisted that Lauren texted her out of the blue to encourage her to unfollow Angelina, Lauren remembered it differently, revealing that the incident occurred only after Jenni texted Lauren to look at a video Angelina posted on Instagram where she had cat diarrhea on her wall, only for Lauren to find she was blocked by Angelina when she couldn't view the video.
Sensing Angelina on the ropes, Mike and J-Woww both attacked her for letting her "messy" personal life reflect on the cast, while Jenni insisted she still believes Angelina leaked the wedding speech audio, something Snooki and Deena refused to take a stance on. Angelina fired back by claiming that she's the only cast member who shares her real life while the others try to hide their drama, which is a fair point — Angelina is pretty much the sole source of drama on the show since Ronnie took a hiatus, and the other cast members do work hard to control their public image, something Angelina seems inept at. But nevertheless, comrades, the roommates took this very; personally, all turning on Angelina to insist they've shared their most intimate details over the course of the show (which is, of course, true of the original seasons, but not so much of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation).
The episode ended with nearly no time left at the pool party and everyone still in the hotel room. Still on the sidelines are Pauly D and Nikki, which means we've yet to get to that scene that they've been teasing since the first episode where Angelina throws a glass of wine on Nikki, so there's still more drama to come, comrades. It was interesting to see Mike weasel out of the spot he was in, with all of the cast members (and fans) believing he had reverted to his villainous ways. Angelina couldn't help but self-sabotage by launching an attack against all the roommates and turning everyone against her once again, even while she seemed to finally have some allies in her battle against Mike and J-Woww.
Comrades, it's important to maintain allies when you're battling superpowers, something your El Presidente knows all too well from my ongoing dispute with the United States. If you don't maintain those friendships, you could soon find that the CIA has caused regime change in all your neighbors and suddenly you are surrounded by capitalist dogs trying to foment revolution and democracy, and then you've got a real problem. During this episode of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation, Angelina had Snooki and Deena on her side, Vinny neutral, and Mike and Jenni pitted against each other, but she blew it and caused everyone to united against her by launching a foolish and overreaching attack. A.classic blunder. Just ask my friend Putin! Haw haw haw haw! Until next time: Socialism or death!